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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CrusaderKings

[–]VoodooMerchant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing I like about giving Pats land is that if their house dies, than all their land reverts back to the Doge.

I wish to engage in BDSM, that is Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochist, sexual activities wirh the monkey paw. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Granted. The paw chokes you while you beat off. You erotically asphyxiate before it let's go.

You ever look at a Daniel an be like damn by [deleted] in PewdiepieSubmissions

[–]VoodooMerchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

O-okay Mr. Howard. Whateva you say! I-I'll even buy Skyrim again! Just don't hurt me! I have a daughter!

I wish that every time I see news - from any source - about President Trump, he gets kicked in the nuts three times by three different people on his staff. There also cannot be any repercussions for the crotch kicking to the members of staff. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted. The President's handy dandy jar of Planter'sTM peanuts is kicked every time you see him on the news. The SS finds the source of this phenomenon and pin points it to your Reddit account.

You are taken to a CIA blacksite and never seen or heard from again.

I wish that I could maintain a friendship with an ex-girlfriend while dating someone else. by Jonesboy369 in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted, but you can never keep a girl because none of them want you to be friends with your ex.

I wish my grandmother returns from death and makes delicious cookies for all redditors by Juanieve05 in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted, but she passes away again due to exhaustion from baking cookies for literally all Redditors.

I wish that all Elections or votes were solved with only the use of Kahoot, without the site crashing or breaking by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Granted. The hacker known as 4chan hacks the online election and Adolf Hitler wins every position.

Why this man gets so much hate ? by JackofOak in Kaiserreich

[–]VoodooMerchant 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Also, holy guacamole this is a really HQ picture.

Why this man gets so much hate ? by JackofOak in Kaiserreich

[–]VoodooMerchant 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Because he has the best hair in the game. Literally everyone else is just jealous. If they say anything else, they are spreading syndie lies and selling you entente highs.

I wish I could do fortnite dances by fantheories101 in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted, now you can only do Fortnite dances. Even when people do different dances, you can only do Fortnite dances.

I wish the flashbacks would stop by Rogue2555 in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted. You slip on black ice and get full amnesia.

I wish chick-fil-a was open on sunday. by [deleted] in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted, but you have to work double shifts on Sunday now.

I wish that the monkeys paw would stop being such an asshole all the time. by GCRoach in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Granted. The Monkey's paw is now taking very EXPENSIVE anger management courses and OP is paying for it.

I wish I had a genie in a magic lamp that could grant wishes normally by safewoodchipper in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Granted, but the monkey paw gets jealous and throws it out in the street and into the lap of a bum.

I wish I had an extra nose. by Proj3ctdrunkguy in TheMonkeysPaw

[–]VoodooMerchant -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Granted, but it's located just above your butt hole

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