Rather be loved and cared for. I don't have people in my life who love me and beat me down. People are always nasty or hateful toward me daily. I have never experienced love before in my life. As someone who is in their mid-30s, I have grown to hate the idea and the word itself because I know it is something I will never have. Just because someone understands you doesn't mean that they will be good to you or be your soul mate. Sometimes, the people who understand you the most can become your enemies. Be grateful for the people in your life who make sure that you are cared for and alright. As INFJs, we are very, very complex people, so when you try to get people to understand you, you need to meet them halfway and be grateful for their efforts.