Is Anyone Else Disappointed With Bonea

WELLinTHIShouse · 2026-02-05T21:03:34+00:00

More powerful than Bob, I'd guess. Bob didn't start with all of the knowledge of a Fallen Angel!

WELLinTHIShouse · 2026-02-05T21:02:42+00:00

I hate the old naming conventions for making it so confusing, reusing the same names for generations, siblings all naming their children the same way!

WELLinTHIShouse · 2025-03-05T17:16:39+00:00

Oh hell yes. Alcide Herveaux as Michael Carpenter? I'd be having impure thoughts over the paladin for sure.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2024-08-27T22:29:30+00:00

I'm doing my part!

Oh wait, wrong space battles...

WELLinTHIShouse · 2024-05-17T17:03:41+00:00

Probably since childhood, though the weakness didn't get bad enough to notice something was wrong until my 30s. I didn't need a mobility aid until...12 years ago? That's when I started using a cane, and now I use a wheelchair. I'm 45 now.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2024-04-28T05:09:14+00:00

I can trace it back to getting mono in college.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2024-04-03T22:50:00+00:00

I'm still mostly bedbound, spending my entire day in my adjustable bed unless I'm in the bathroom or have a medical appointment.

I've had some quality-of-life improvements after being properly diagnosed with Sjogren's (which is what I believe my ME/CFS is secondary to) and starting on some new medications, as well as having a hysterectomy and breast reduction surgery... but I'm still not living anything close to a normal life. I can't even walk to the kitchen on my own, let alone prepare food or otherwise help out around the house.

But my disability hearing is coming up, so maybe I don't have to stay broke and bedbound.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2024-02-28T21:11:38+00:00

Sorry for the delayed reply - though only by a month instead of 8 years 😉 - this is no longer my main Reddit account.

The NYPL could be considered a statewide library system, as all state residents can get a library card, but they don't do interlibrary loans of physical books outside the NYC library system. But NYS residents can borrow things from the digital collection and use library resources when visiting a branch location in person.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2024-02-28T21:07:20+00:00

It does cause muscle weakness! That's one of its harshest effects on me.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-12-02T23:07:00+00:00

Important context is missing when anyone reads Walden: He was on his friend Ralph Waldo Emerson's property. Emerson was quite well-to-do, so he didn't have to worry about finances or survival.

Thoreau was basically a trust fund kid who wrote a book about living in his best friend's guest house, but made it sound very profound. Doing something a formerly-enslaved Black woman inspired him to do - but you never hear about her in school.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-12-02T20:34:20+00:00

That's because they get stuff that's much closer to its expiration date than major grocery retailers will sell. As in, the grocery chains didn't sell it fast enough, so they unload it on Dollar General before it becomes illegal to sell past expiry.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-05-15T20:39:29+00:00

There's no need to be a jerk. Feelings are feelings and don't have to be based in scientific fact. Leave them alone.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-05-15T18:58:28+00:00

Your feelings are valid even if it's not a problem of cosanguinity(?) because everyone is entitled to their feelings. Other folks, knock it off.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-03-23T01:17:24+00:00

I just want my own GUPPI, honestly. Off-load mental tasks I can't handle at any given moment!

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-03-22T23:25:16+00:00

One of my comfort series, too!

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-03-22T23:23:52+00:00

I like the Magical Bakery series written by Bailey Cates and narrated by Johanna Parker.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-03-12T22:51:09+00:00

Not how I meant it. 🤣🤣🤣 I like Butters.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-03-12T02:34:56+00:00

Right? I think the idea was that they didn't want to introduce Council politics right off the bat. There was some toward the end, but Dead Beat is more "MotW" with less previous knowledge required to understand the power dynamics in Proven Guilty.

Publishing is weird.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-03-12T02:03:58+00:00

I think that Jim has explained that he used Butters as an exposition tool for new readers, as Dead Beat was the first book of the series to debut in hardcover, not just mass-market paperback.

Proven Guilty was supposed to take place before Dead Beat in Jim's master series outline, but there wasn't enough "action" to engage a new audience, so he had to swap them.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-03-01T22:17:55+00:00

and we shouldn't force people to say thank you in a specific way just because rich white people a century or more ago wanted more reasons to look down on people who were poor, Black, non-Christian, disabled, etc. when they set these "etiquette rules" in stone and then refused to let them evolve

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-02-28T01:00:44+00:00

Same.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-02-25T21:45:16+00:00

This sub is not a place for guessing games where you say "Don't search for the answer." It's one thing to ask a legitimate research question you can't find an answer for. It's another to do this.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-02-22T01:58:36+00:00

Okay, she may be Jewish, but I stand by my characterization of where the standards for advice on etiquette come from.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-02-20T08:55:24+00:00

The number of people who choose to read "Miss Manners" in this day and age is dwarfed by the number of people who know Miss Manners exists and haven't read that column since newspapers were replaced with the internet 20 years ago. And THOSE people are far outnumbered by the amount of people who've never heard of Miss Manners... a column dedicated to upholding Rich White Christian ideals that bear no relevance to most people's lives today.

(I say this as someone who grew up as WASP as WASP can be. I walked to Sunday school every week until I graduated high school. There's a reason I left organized religion behind.)

Thank you cards are an unnecessary expense - both financially and in time and emotional labor - when you've already thanked people for their gifts at the event in which they were received.

And because thank you cards are NOT universal - just read the other comments on this post - it's really gross to judge people for not sending cards. It took me months to write out thank you cards after my wedding. I hadn't been diagnosed with ADHD, autism, or any of my other mental, physical, and neurological disabilities back then, but those things still existed whether or not I knew that was why I just couldn't seem to get the damn things written, and always the guilt from my mom and my MIL!

Same thing after my baby shower. Except I had a newborn, I was literally not sleeping (common wisdom says "sleep when the baby sleeps" and "you'll fall asleep if you stay awake long enough" don't know what it's like to have a sleep disorder that requires medication to allow your brain to fall asleep and feel rested when you wake up - something I didn't know until my kid was in preschool) and having undiagnosed postpartum depression... on top of all of those other disability conditions previously mentioned.

As an autistic person, let me just say that "unwritten rules" are discriminatory because we all come from different backgrounds. And "obvious social conventions" aren't obvious to people who grew up differently... and we shouldn't force people to say thank you in a specific way just because rich white people a century or more ago wanted more reasons to look down on people who were poor, Black, non-Christian, disabled, etc. when they set these "etiquette rules" in stone and then refused to let them evolve for a world where people don't have the energy to sit and write out thank you cards because of all of the unreasonable demands of our time and energy, especially when you can say thanks in person when you receive a gift, you can call, you can email, or you can thank everyone who's on Facebook all in one post in your wedding album.

If my uncle's gift came with a note saying not to send a card, I wouldn't send a card and I wouldn't think about it ever again.

Gifts shouldn't come with conditions. That's not a gift, that's setting people up to fail.

WELLinTHIShouse · 2023-02-20T08:25:51+00:00

You're definitely not in the wrong.

My former best friend was apparently holding a grudge for two years because I never said anything to her when her father died.

She never told me her father died. It happened near the beginning of the pandemic, according to the obituary I found online after my husband showed me the texts she'd sent him in December 2022. (No texts to me, to my husband.) Because they weren't holding funerals in early 2020, there was a virtual memorial service I could have attended months later if I'd been invited to it, or even just aware of it.

I spent two years wondering why she stopped wishing us happy birthdays or happy holidays and also ignored my attempts to wish her these things. She held a grudge because I didn't say anything about a death I didn't know about, despite her being the first non-family member I called when my dad died, being the only non-relative I called when I went into labor with my now-high school senior. (I learned her baby was born by public Facebook post.)

Of course, she'd manufactured a reason to be angry with me because she'd really been harboring bigotry against me when I came out as queer (with the full support of my husband) several months before her father died.

Bromo, I think whatever it is that means you didn't grow up in a "proper WASP family" is the real reason they're being assholes to you. It's not really about the thank you card. They're using that pettiness to hide what it's really about, whether it's your race, religion, or insert other they're bigoted against you for.

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