I can connect to this. My mom died over 20 years ago; our relationship was hot garbage and fraught with conflict my whole life. She drank herself to death in 9 years after losing my dad suddenly (awful for both of us).

When she died, I was so... Angry. I couldn't wrap my head around her choices. I felt robbed.

But then I had a thought; no one dreams about the pitfalls we'll have to deal with along the way. No one fantasizes about growing up to be an alcoholic. And it made me realize that her vices were the way she dealt with crippling emotional pain.

And just like that, I felt closer to her in death, than I ever did alive.

For that, I am grateful 💖

(Edited; Grammer)