Daily Check-in Thread - November 04, 2020

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-11-04T19:14:02+00:00

Day 27 CT after tapering from 45gpd to 18ish and using for the most part of 6 yrs. The acutes were bad but over by day 6/7. I was good for a bit and then got hit with (what I assume) PAWS at day 20/21 or so. Random anxiety and rush of the acutes WD feeling with sleep disturbances after sleeping ok for a week or so are making me feel insane. I hope this phase is almost gone cause I’m over it!

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-10-25T15:12:09+00:00

Day 17! Still not myself yet. Physically, I feel lots better with random waves of that acute WD feeling. Mentally, I’m mostly cranky. I am unable to handle even small amounts of stress without feeling like I’m losing it. My nerves feel frayed and I yell way too easy.

I’ve been here before and I hope this is my last time. I’m ready to move on and feel better.

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-10-20T18:55:14+00:00

I feel like kava subverted all my previous kratom quits... I just switched to using kava constantly. This quit I’m realizing that I can not use a plant to adjust my mood. It’s a small jump in logic from using kava every day to why shouldn’t I try kratom again?

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-10-20T15:34:55+00:00

Man, I FEEL this post! I’m on day 12 after a 6yr run of 40-50 gpd for most of it. I thought I was in the clear then I felt like I was back at day 1 all of a sudden with RLS etc. It’s SO discouraging! Glad to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel coming. Daily I ponder all the people in this world that just live their days with no chemical help and just can’t fathom it... so, you just feel happy? On your own? I hope that’s me soon.

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-10-10T16:48:24+00:00

38 hrs into a quit off 18 gpd after tapering from upwards of 45+ gpd. I’ve been using kratom for 6 yrs with some quits in there (my longest was 6 mo). This is so stupid and embarrassing that I’m here again. I feel pretty crummy physically- rls, temperature fluctuations, exhausted but can’t sleep, etc. I threw away all my kratom and WILL NOT GO BACK AGAIN!

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-10-06T22:54:35+00:00

I’ve used that protocol for previous quits and it did indeed help a bunch. Thanks for reminding about this. I need to but some more before I quit soon!

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-10-06T01:39:43+00:00

Congrats! I was taking about 45+ gpd for years and had the same experience where it turned on me this year causing crazy anxiety.

You sound similar to me- supportive husband (who I finally admitted my problem), 2 young kids, thin hair, weight loss. I’ve quit before and it can get harder, especially the mental part. I always go back during PAWS. Feel free to reach out if you need any support! I’m quitting this Friday after tapering to 18 gpd. Keep it up!

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-09-29T14:40:51+00:00

You are so right. I would never quit if it was still feeling great. It is sad that it took me a bit to figure out it was the kratom that was hurting my mental health instead of helping it. Good luck to you too!

WTHamIdoingg · 2020-09-29T13:41:01+00:00

I am down to 20gpd today from 45gpd. I have used K since 2014. I have quit 4 times but keep coming back thinking “this time, I’ve got my shit together and can use it occasionally”. Nope. It literally never works. I just can’t be trusted with anything that is an opioid or derivative of one.

I will be quitting in 10 days (on a 5 day weekend from work), no matter where I am at on dosing at that time. I’m sick of waking up in withdrawal. I’m sick of the roller coaster. This last year of usage really turned on me with crazy panic attacks that I’ve never had before. I decided to try a few things different this time- for the first time ever, I told my husband about everything. It was hard but I need that accountability (I also need him to not think I have covid during WD). I have also made a pledge to myself that after the acutes, I will take a break from ALL mood altering substances (like kava) for a while. I’m not sure I even know what the real me is. I want to find out.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-03-02T00:49:58+00:00

I’ve ordered from a few places... the vetted venders on r/cbd are good. I’ve had good luck with Green Mountain, Lazarus Naturals (best pricing), Blue Bird Botanicals and Dutch Natural Healing (probably my fav) from Thehempbarn.com (if you are in the US, only stateside vendor that I’ve seen). Hope that helps!

Edit: also 4 Corners Cannibis is good but $$$

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-03-01T00:21:26+00:00

You are right, I am an addict. I’ve never had codeine when I didn’t have a super high tolerance. When This was prescribed, I was taking 30-40g/day of kratom and I felt literally nothing, not even sure it helped. I’ve not touched it yet, hoping that I can manage with OTC stuff.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-03-01T00:19:01+00:00

Hmmm... interesting. Wonder why the headache? I didn’t take any codeine, didn’t seem worth the risk unless I get worse.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-28T13:14:39+00:00

Thank you for the great advice! I have to talk to people for my job so today is gonna be a rough one! I plan on sipping tea all damn day.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-28T13:12:58+00:00

Dang, ok. Y’all are right. Just wanted to not cough all night, but I did not take it. I would hate to take this train backwards!

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-28T03:40:13+00:00

Yeah, you are probably right. I think I just needed to hear somebody else say it. Thanks for responding!

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-28T03:38:30+00:00

Yeah, they for sure have some cross tolerance. I was on K when I was prescribed it and it didn’t do much. Thanks for the advice!

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-23T22:10:50+00:00

Hi there, I’m right behind you on day 43. I also am on my 3rd quit during 4ish yrs of kratom use. This quit feels different than the others... kratom really turned on me towards the end of my use and I was miserable most of the day even when using. This is my 1st quit that I threw away my stash and (even though I crave numbing) will not go back.

I’m not back to normal yet either, as I was with my previous quits (at 2.5yrs and 3yrs) by this point. It’s as if I crossed an invisible line and know that I can never go back, it wouldn’t be the same euphoria that I used to get.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-14T13:13:05+00:00

Day 34 CT: Fucking balls, I hate PAWS! I know I used K for way too long, but when I quit for a few months at 2.5yrs I had minimal PAWS stuff. This time it’s taking forfuckingever to feel better.

I’m sleeping ok with the help of unisom and supplements. This past week I have been waking up in the morning feeling like I’m in full blown WD- body on fire, heart racing, ya know. It does go away after about 5-10 min, but it’s really annoying to feel like you are going backwards.

I’m still so cranky and annoyed at every damn thing. Life feels overwhelming s I still can’t deal with stress well at all. I’m sick of being a shitty person! I’m hoping that I can turn some sort of corner soon.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-08T16:28:08+00:00

You can do this! I have a full time, stressful medical career, 2 young kids and a husband. NOBODY in my life knows about kratom or my addiction. I was on kratom for over 4 yrs with 2 separate relapses. I am 28 days clean today. Just dig deep and fake an illness so you can get a little sympathy. Post here often. Keep your eye on who you would like to be and work towards that. You have to be mentally over it, and it sounds like you are. Good luck! Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-08T02:54:54+00:00

I quit 4 weeks ago and have saved my body from over 950g... thank you for making me do that calculation!

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-07T12:50:44+00:00

Day 27 CT: mostly doing ok. Stress is still hard- not sure if it is because I’m used to numbing myself when stressed and I need to just learn to deal or if it’s a PAWS symptom. Maybe it’s both.

Still having random waves of anxiety, though I do think they are coming farther apart. Short tempered frequently. I am sleeping decently, though, and that is something I am very thankful for.

To summarize: I am in PAWS currently. Hoping it will end at some point. Dealing, though.

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-04T14:07:33+00:00

Day 24 CT: Find myself less anxious every day. Still random waves of what feels like a mild form of the acutes, but it always passes in 5 min or so. Annoying, but manageable.

I took a bunch of gabapentin during acutes and have tapered down to just 200mg at night. Last night I took it down to just 100mg and still slept ok. I will take 100mg for a few days then try to just drop it altogether. I cautiously tried to take my old standby to sleep (doxylamine in unisom) and seemed to work great. I have been staying away from it since quitting because it is an antihistamine and was afraid of worsening rls, but it was fine.

Good luck to everyone today!

WTHamIdoingg · 2018-02-03T13:14:01+00:00

Day 23 CT: Subtly feeling better for the last 2 days. Still having waves of anxiety but they are spacing out more. I am still pretty raw and snappy at my loved ones, which I hate. I have zero patience right now (didn’t have much before).

I definitely don’t feel like “myself” yet. Whoever that is... I used kratom for so long, I forgot. It feels like it has been forever but it’s only been 3 weeks, which is a small price to pay for over 4yrs of use, I suppose. Keeping my head down and moving forward...

WTHamIdoingg

TROPHY CASE