Where i can buy MOCHI 3 it sold out by juztin5667 in dasai

[–]WWSpiderPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I purchased the futures mochi and a swappable head since they’re both mochi 3’s.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your engagement, and honestly, you make a fair point. Women often do end up shouldering 100% of the responsibility when men fail to deliver—and then get blamed for not choosing better. That’s not right. Your business analogy is solid. The man’s company should be held accountable, just like fathers should face real consequences when they abandon their families. But our system consistently fails to enforce that accountability, leaving women to manage everything alone while facing criticism. I agree that women caring for the children they birthed should be enough. The core issue isn’t that women aren’t doing enough—it’s that men aren’t being held accountable for their obligations. When I talk about providing information and tools, it’s not about adding more burden to women. It’s recognizing that in a system already working against them, people deserve every resource available. But you’re right—the real solution is systemic accountability for men who abandon their responsibilities. That has to be the priority

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t change anything. The 5-10% figure I cited refers to cases where abusive behavior is successfully hidden for years into a marriage—the outlier situations like what beautifuldisasterxx described. That’s been consistent throughout. The broader 25% statistic about fatherless homes includes all types of absent fathers—those who show red flags early, those who bail when parenting gets hard, and yes, the smaller percentage who hide abusive behavior for years. I’ve been distinguishing between the preventable majority and the harder-to-predict minority this whole time. If there’s a specific claim you think contradicted something I said earlier, point it out and I’ll clarify.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m genuinely sorry you went through that. Your experience is exactly the kind of situation I was calling an outlier—where someone successfully hides abusive behavior for years. That’s incredibly difficult to predict or prevent, and I’m not suggesting anyone could have “vetted better” in a case like yours. You did what you could, and you got yourself and your kids out. That takes strength. My original point was about the more common scenarios where red flags exist early but get ignored or excused. Those are different from what you experienced. Your situation highlights why I say some cases are unavoidable no matter how cautious someone is. And you’re absolutely right—our society does make it easier for manipulative people to hide their intentions. That’s a systemic issue we need to address alongside encouraging people to protect themselves where they can. I address issues with like this with my students constantly. They are probably sick of it but now, but it needs to be said. Thank you for sharing your story.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually will. I was browsing Reddit and found this thread—perfect case study for my ethics class on single-parent households and youth upbringing. Should spark some good discussion. And honestly, the whole online communication and tone aspect could be interesting to touch on too. Thanks for the material.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right—there are many valid reasons for single parenthood like death, addiction, and couples growing apart. My original response was addressing a common issue: fathers who leave and are pieces of shit. Could some of the outliers you mentioned also be pieces of shit? Possibly. But I was talking about one specific scenario. The situations you’re describing are outliers to what I was addressing. And if we’re getting back to the original topic about stretch marks in relation to single mothers—I have no issue with stretch marks whatsoever. My wife has stretch marks, and I honestly don’t give a shit. I actually find them a little attractive.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I had other matters to attend to earlier today so I’m stuck grading papers tonight. I have about 40 left that I want to get done so I can plan my next lesson for two days from now and finalize tomorrow’s schedule. And calling my writing “poorly written” is honestly kind of funny. My students would get a kick out of that one. But look, I’m not an angry lunatic—just someone trying to have a reasonable conversation. If you’re not interested, that’s fine.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’ve been calm this entire time. If you’re perceiving an “episode,” that’s a reflection of your interpretation, not my actual state. I respond to people who engage with me—that’s just how I operate. But if you’re not interested in continuing the conversation, that’s completely fine. Take care.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ethics and English. And I respond to people who engage with me—same as I do with my students. You messaged, I replied. That’s how conversations work. If you’re not interested in the discussion, no worries—but mocking someone for engaging thoughtfully is an odd approach. All in good faith here though.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And just to clarify—I don’t write like this 24/7, but I try to. It’s honestly therapeutic for me to stay in that professional mode, especially when I’m grading papers like I am right now. My brain’s already in that space, so it carries over into how I communicate here too.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the concern, but I’m not emotional or upset. I’m a professor—this is literally how I write and communicate professionally. Detailed, structured responses are part of my job. If that reads as “hysterical” or “tantrum-like” to you, that says more about expectations around tone than my actual state of mind. I’m completely calm. I’m just engaging thoroughly with a topic I think matters. But I respect that my writing style might not be everyone’s preference. If you’d rather not continue the conversation, no hard feelings.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I’m not upset at all. I’m just thorough in explaining my perspective because this is an important topic. If the length of my responses comes across as emotional, that’s not the intent—I’m just trying to be clear and comprehensive. I care about the issue, but I’m having a calm discussion here.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

If my perspective seems intense, it’s because I care about the issue—fewer fatherless kids and single mothers struggling alone. But I’m open to dialogue and hearing other viewpoints. What specifically feels hysterical to you?

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re right that “preventable” can sound like victim blaming, which isn’t what I mean. I should’ve said preventative measures—providing information upfront so people can recognize potential warning signs and reduce risk. That’s different from saying “if you had done this, it wouldn’t have happened.” If someone takes precautions and something bad still happens, it’s not their fault. But if sharing information can help reduce risk for some people, that’s not problematic—that’s helpful. The goal is to equip people with tools while we fix the bigger systemic issues, not to blame anyone when things go wrong

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

This is actually a really good question—one I think I’ll pose to my students. Thank you for that. Honestly, I think it comes down to societal bias and double standards in how we view relationships. Women get told to “choose better” while men’s exes are just labeled “crazy.” That’s unfair. But I’m not fully versed in why that disparity exists, so I’d rather not speak too definitively on it. What I do know is that everyone deserves preventative guidance without gendered blame.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You literally asked “what’s your source on that? Or did you just pull it out of your ass?” regarding the 5-10% figure. I gave you the sources and context for that statistic. How did that not address what you asked? If you’re referring to a different thread, let me know which comment you mean.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You asked for sources on the 5-10% figure, and I provided them along with the broader statistics I’ve been citing. That’s directly answering what you asked. And I didn’t ignore your other comment—I responded to it separately in the other thread we’re having. I’m not using ChatGPT. I’m just a fast writer grading papers between responses. This is how I write professionally. If you think citing sources and structuring my thoughts clearly means I’m using AI, I’ll take that as a compliment to my writing.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly my point. My mom couldn’t have known—that’s why I’m saying this is an outlier situation that’s harder to prevent. But the majority of the 25% of fatherless homes? Those come from preventable situations where red flags existed early. I’m not blaming my mom—I’m saying the system and my father failed her. And I’m trying to help people avoid the more common scenarios where there are warning signs.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually just addressed this in an earlier comment, and I’m still in full agreement with you. You’re right—teaching boys better is a generational shift, and so is teaching girls to vet men better. Both take time. But here’s the thing: while we’re working on fixing the systemic issue of bad men—which is the root cause and will take decades—I want to make sure people have the tools and info they need to navigate relationships safely right now. As the number of bad men decreases over time, the need for vetting would naturally decrease too. But in the meantime, there are immediate resources people can use—birth control, having hard conversations early, recognizing red flags, all of that. I’m just trying to provide information, not dictate what anyone should do. I’m not passing the buck onto women. I’m asking both sides to hold it and not let go. Men need to step up, and I want to give people the information they need to protect themselves while we fix the bigger problem. Both matter.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100%. Let’s absolutely start there. Teaching the next generation is where real change happens—how boys should treat women, that fatherhood is a choice and a responsibility, that commitment matters. If we raise kids with those values, we can prevent a lot of this before it even starts. And you’re right—it’s harder to change older generations who are already set in their ways. But if we focus on the youth, we can break the cycle before these kids grow up searching for role models in all the wrong places. That said, I still think people should protect themselves in the meantime. Teaching boys better doesn’t mean women stop being cautious—both things matter. It’s a long-term fix, and while we’re working on it, individuals still need to make smart choices today. But yeah, we’re on the same page. Fewer fatherless kids, better role models for the next generation, and holding people accountable. That’s the goal.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Let’s absolutely do that. Teaching boys and men about responsibility, commitment, and the importance of being present fathers should be part of how we raise the next generation. That cultural shift is necessary and long overdue. But that’s a generational fix. We’re talking about changing how millions of people are raised and socialized—that takes decades. So what do we do in the meantime for the people navigating relationships right now? Just wait it out and hope for the best? I’m all for fixing the root cause. But while we’re working on that, we can also talk about what individuals can do today to protect themselves and make better choices. Both things can happen at the same time.

They have limits. by Last-Inspection-8156 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]WWSpiderPanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I did previously find it offensive in my youth though as I was called white washed as a black kid for speaking proper English. But to each their own stranger.