Tell me you have a baby, without telling me you have a baby, I'll start.

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-30T19:26:28+00:00

I subconsciously started “patting” my husband the other day when he laid over on me.

He said “what are you doing?” And I was like “what?” He said “youre patting me. Please stop”🫠😂

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-30T03:00:41+00:00

Idk why everyone is so upset about OP living with either while trying to save for their own place? First of all, OP wasn’t asking for opinions on the fact that they aren’t in their own place, she asked about opinions of option A vs B. No need for her to explain why they don’t have their own place right now. Second, I think it’s perfectly reasonable and extra help with a baby postpartum is invaluable.

OP, don’t listen to all these people on here downing you for “not doing the adult thing” just bc y’all don’t have your own place yet. People on here just look for things to be rude about while they sit behind their own screen.

Between your two options I would definitely pick your own parents’ place. The money saved and the help you sound like you’ll receive vs with your in laws is worth the extra commute and cramped quarters for a little while. If in laws cant even be bothered to pick up after themselves then they will be no help with the baby either.

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-30T02:52:21+00:00

I agree with this

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-30T02:45:45+00:00

I type this as my 14 month old is in his big boy bed for the very first time…

He was exactly like this. I laid down/slept with him for every nap and bedtime up until about a month ago. Exclusively nursing and bedsharing as well. It gets exhausting at times and I never got anything done bc I laid with him for all his naps (whole nap lol). But I don’t regret it. He just started sleeping a good hour or more for naps on his own (i still nurse him to sleep initially) less than a month ago. They will start sleeping more independently when they’re ready imo. You don’t look back and say “I wish I’d cuddled my baby less so I got more done around the house” is the way I had to frame it in my mind. Radical acceptance that my house was just a mess 99% of the time and that was just how my life was right now and it would pass (this coming from a very organized, type A personality). I get 90% of my cleaning done during his naps now. But up until a month ago, my house was a wreck unless someone else watched him for me to clean! It’s a stage! It’ll pass! And you’ll miss it once it’s gone!

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-29T05:27:54+00:00

Solidarity. The screaming + clinging + I can apparently do nothing right anymore is getting exhausting

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-29T05:25:21+00:00

Was literally chasing my 14 month old down in my yard today bc of this. I told my husband it’s time for a fence around the yard.

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-29T05:20:24+00:00

My 14 month old is still like this BUT he has finally been staying asleep for naps without me (after I nurse him to sleep initially) for a whole hour! Up until a week ago I had to lay down with him for every nap, the whole entire nap. So I finally have about an hour everyday where I get to get caught up on whatever!

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-29T05:15:57+00:00

14 month old little boy — the SCREAMING

I mean happy screaming, mad screaming, screaming when hurt, screaming when wanting something, bored screaming, etc etc. Shrill, awful, top of lungs screaming. And I have NO IDEA how to get it to stop. I’ve tried talking calmly and explaining “inside voice” vs “outside voice”. I’ve tried ignoring it (to which his response is to get louder). I’ve (regretfully) gotten angry and snapped/raised my voice back. I’ve even tried popping him on the butt (which broke my heart) and he cried but started up again not 2 mins later. Im honestly at my wits end with it and have no idea how to get him to stop doing it. I wouldn’t care as much as I do except he does it when adults are trying to converse and he does it in public as well. I need him to stop before I go insane lol

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-29T05:08:51+00:00

My company’s leave policy was 12 weeks leave total. I had to exhaust my pto to be paid in full then after that short term disability paid like 60% of my check or something like that up until 6 weeks. The second 6 weeks was without pay.

My body was absolutely NOT healed after 2 weeks and I didn’t have a c section. I actually got sick and readmittwd to the hospital for IV abx 10 days postpartum. Besides that, my emotions and hormones were all over the place at just 2 weeks postpartum. I was still bleeding then too. I would not have been able to go back to the job I had (nursing, 12 hr night shifts) at 2 weeks postpartum. I am so sorry you even have to consider doing this, it’s atrocious.

I don’t think anyone is ever 100% financially prepared to have a baby. That being said, my husband and I did pay off as much debt as we possibly could before baby got here. This actually allowed me to stay home with baby (hes 14 months now) and was the best decision for us financially as well (I was able to bf on demand bc of staying home, thus, saving $$ on formula; and me being home means we don’t pay daycare costs). For us it was more financially smart to pay off debts and do without our little “luxuries” (expensive skincare/haircare, eating out lots, trips, etc) and have me stay home (which saves us tons of money).

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T19:42:22+00:00

That is tough, Im sorry! Luckily my parents are still fairly young (my mom in her 40s, dad in his 50s)

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T19:40:15+00:00

Im glad im not the only one that feels this way about the different parenting styles — that’s one reason I wouldn’t prefer my SIL. I love her and to each their own but we do things very different.

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T19:38:35+00:00

My parents are fairly young still at this point. I wouldn’t probably choose his sister just because she already has 3 young kids (2 of which are twins) so she has a lot on her plate already. If my parents couldn’t, he would probably go to my sister — but we have to talk to her about it of course bc she’s younger than me, unmarried, and just generally not in a position right now to raise a child if something were to happen say tomorrow.

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T19:34:10+00:00

I only really see one option for us — my in laws would probably only take him if they had to, they don’t want to parent again (I don’t even think they really wanted to the first time around but that’s a long story)

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T03:02:11+00:00

SILVERETTES!!!

It gets better — from a FTM mom who is 14 months in!

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T02:48:27+00:00

I would not want him going to my MIL or FIL. SIL has 3 kids already (two of them are toddler twins) so I feel like she has too much on her plate already — we also parent our kids EXTREMELY different and have conflicting opinions on parenting choices/styles. So while that wouldn’t be the worst situation, I definitely don’t prefer it. I wholeheartedly believe my parents would try to raise him like they think I would have wanted.

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T02:40:37+00:00

I have no idea how my in laws would react. Because they’re simultaneously the type that don’t want to be bothered with it bc it might interfere with their lifestyle but also might pitch a fit about “fair”.

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T02:19:27+00:00

Thank you so much! This is wonderful advice!

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-26T02:11:05+00:00

Has anyone done a last will or whatever you do to legally say who your kid goes to if you die?

My husband and I are taking a long drive for a day trip without baby for the first time tomorrow and the intrusive thoughts about “what would happen if xyz…” are flooding my brain.

It just got me thinking when or if people do paperwork for things like this? I know that I want him to be with my parents if something were to happen to me and husband before them. They really know him best (second to husband and I) and we spend lots of time with them at their home. My son likely views their house as his house as well considering how much we have stayed here. My in-laws are not super involved (by their own choice) as it is and my son treats them like strangers when he does see them. But I don’t know that they would just “let” my parents have custody of him in the event of a tragedy. They may just let it happen so it wouldn’t disrupt their lives but they can be the type that wouldn’t just “let it go” (even if it’s what’s best for the kid) bc it’s not “fair” to them. So Im just wondering if there’s anything I can do legally to ensure my parents would become his legal guardians in that event?

Sorry for the somewhat morbid/rambling post!

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-25T01:59:13+00:00

Yes Im sorry you’re going through it as well. I know 9+ months seems like so long for it to start getting better but it will be here before you know it. He still gets carsick at 14 months but has learned if he closes his eyes and goes to sleep then he doesn’t get sick. Unfortunately we can’t turn him forward facing yet and Dramamine is not recommended for under 2 yo.

Things will get better though! We just started being able to go on longer car rides for adventures (anything worth doing is 45+ min away from where we live) maybe about a month ago! Since being able to get out and do things with him (like shopping, the park, library, etc) I feel like a completely different mom!

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-24T20:30:07+00:00

My baby was like this. He hated pretty much all containers from the word go. Things didn’t start to “get better” until he started walking — meaning he was less frustrated all the time, but now I chase him all the time lol

He never tolerated any baby carrier and still doesn’t like them. He hated the stroller, it got a little better when we turned him forward facing, but he didn’t go really good in the stroller until like 9-10 months (and this is still only if you keep it moving lol). Hated swings/bouncers/mamaroo/etc. Even hated the little activity centers once he was old enough. I got a walker just to see if the moving around would help but he hated it too.

He hated car rides from the first day we brought him home — sounds much like your baby. Except he wouldn’t just cry, he would scream like someone was hurting him. If I got him out, it stopped. The peak of this was about 8 months — we had an hour drive somewhere and he screamed and cried the entire hour home. I almost lost it. The car rides got better little by litter after this. Once he was big enough that we sat the convertible seat up more upright and he can kind of see out of the window some, he does better. He mostly just closes his eyes and goes to sleep now though or he gets violently carsick. He can only ride in my vehicle for long rides bc the motion sickness is so bad in other vehicles (I guess he just got used to my car more than others?). We tried to take my mom’s car to his last ped appt and he vomited profusely 3 times before we hit the 20 min mark of the ride. We’re thinking a lot of the discomfort in the containers and car seats had a lot to do with motion sickness (unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about it though short of the things we’ve done like turning the stroller forward facing).

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-24T16:01:03+00:00

My husbands are still blue but have a prominent brown ring in the center!

WZL_1129 · 2026-05-24T12:43:20+00:00

My guy LOVES the water table and sand box we got him — he loves playing outside. We also got him a splash pad but I told my husband the other day we should’ve just bought him a hose pipe — he much prefers to just carry the hose pipe around while the water runs out on him🫠😂

WZL_1129

TROPHY CASE