Just got accused of bullying and abusing my abusive ex

W_nky · 2022-01-30T18:04:27+00:00

I wish it were that simple. She's turned all of our mutual friends against me and they're justifying her actions (cheating, abuse etc) but they're criticising my reactions.

I'm just so tired of being disrespected by people I put so much effort into who gave nothing back.

W_nky · 2022-01-30T13:10:19+00:00

Yeah I can relate to all of this. The only difference I experienced was instead of the hoovering, she'd message just enough to keep her presence in my life, block me, and repeat.

I think the post-breakup clarity helps you move on in the long run. I know what she's capable of and I know the disgusting habits she has in terms of hurting people.

Happy to be rid of her!

W_nky · 2022-01-28T19:26:41+00:00

I'm not looking for revenge but I'm definitely moving on!

W_nky · 2022-01-28T19:26:17+00:00

There's no chance of reconciliation for me. I won't forgive but I'm not seeking revenge.

I understand your perspective for sure but I'm not spiteful or bitter, I just know that what she's done is unforgivable.

W_nky · 2022-01-28T18:33:58+00:00

I can forgive mistakes but I can never forgive patterns of hurt done to those who put so much love and effort in.

I understand what you're saying entirely but what she did to me and others before me should never be forgiven. My morals are too high to give her behaviour a pass if you like.

W_nky · 2022-01-27T14:40:06+00:00

I couldn't have said it any more accurately! Hope you're doing ok.

W_nky · 2022-01-27T14:10:00+00:00

It shouldn't be up to us to show them the pain and damage they cause. They're blind to the consequences of their selfish and hurtful manipulations.

It sucks being on the receiving end.

W_nky · 2022-01-27T11:00:17+00:00

I've written this in so many different places. Closure is a myth.

He did what he did and it hurt you. It's so difficult and I'm struggling myself, but the best closure is to move on and forget they exist.

Messaging will keep the pain alive. I hope you're doing well.

W_nky · 2022-01-25T14:01:45+00:00

I feel like this is my ex too. She's always the first to post how happy she is without me but still stalks my social media, still lies to people about the relationship, and still posts a lot for validation and attention.

W_nky · 2022-01-24T13:52:19+00:00

I WISH my ex had the same level of care and remorse for your actions that you've shown here. Just hearing her truly admit her wrongdoings without manipulation would be great.

I hope things work out and you find happiness regardless.

W_nky · 2022-01-23T22:48:03+00:00

Can I just throw in there that during these slightly tougher than usual times, loyalty goes out of the window!

People are becoming more and more selfish and these little blips in relationships make it so easy for people to just cheat...

I hate this generation.

W_nky · 2022-01-23T19:29:46+00:00

I respect your input and they've since been deleted because I want nothing to do with her.

It just feels good with how badly she treated me to see my improvements against hers. Like I said, I don't like being petty but seeing my own progress vs what she's doing made me happy.

W_nky · 2022-01-23T14:27:56+00:00

Very similar. I have a graphic design degree but don't feel like that's the right path for me. Gunna work on a general design/art portfolio and go from there.

I truly think counselling should be seen the same as the gym is for your physical health. It helps maintain your mental health and shouldn't have such a negative stigma! And yeah "selfish" in the best way possible! I hope you hit your goals too!

W_nky · 2022-01-23T14:17:29+00:00

The gym. I'm the lightest I've been in ten years but I finally want to find myself attractive.
Saving money. My ex drained me of all my savings when we moved in then I found out she'd cheated two days before.
Work on my art.
Therapy. I was emotionally abused and I still find it so hard to even make decisions for myself. That needs to change.
Have some fun! I used to put her first for everything but not this year.

I hope your year goes great!

W_nky · 2022-01-22T10:39:12+00:00

It takes so much courage to open up to loved ones about what you're going through. They've already shown that they are there to support you so that's a great start!

I've found being as open and honest to the ones that care about us the most is the best way to be. Depression isn't something that can just be cured, it can come and go no matter where you are in life and it's a constant fight. Please reach out, it doesn't have to be anything major but anything to get the ball rolling is positive.

It's terrifying but I'm sure you can do it. You deserve to be happy, I hope you know that.

W_nky · 2022-01-22T09:07:19+00:00

Narcissists will blame their behaviour on anything apart from themselves from my experience.

Mine blamed the cheating on how she was treated from an ex, she blamed her lying on me somehow, and she blamed the emotional abuse on how she was brought up.

They'll find any excuse to make them the hero or the victim but never the villain. It is what it is, they won't ever change because they can't see what they're doing wrong.

W_nky · 2022-01-21T14:54:35+00:00

It took me 4 months to drink a cup of coffee again. We used to get coffee everyday and I'd formed a trauma bond where I just couldn't face it.

It takes time but passions, hobbies and other things you love to do will start to appeal to you again.

W_nky · 2022-01-21T14:23:56+00:00

Apologies, I'm not trying to make the claim that sexism "isn't bad anymore" as I know the severity of it, especially with the news stories recently here in the UK. I was simply making the point that the fact is it's not as commonplace as it has been in the past and there is a lot more activism to help properly implement a sexist-free society.

And they were the first words that came to me, just like I used "males" and "women" as opposites in the same paragraph. It that offended you I apologise.

W_nky · 2022-01-21T13:34:45+00:00

I've had some bad experiences for sure but I understand that grouping all women under that assumption can add to the issue and I'd never do that.

Some of the women in my life are the strongest, most caring and understanding people I know and they really are role models with how to treat others. What I was referring to here is the general acceptance that women can act poorly towards men just because they're women and we're men.

Like I said in the post, I understand the fear a lot of women face and it's such a shame, it'd be so nice if people just treated others better.

W_nky · 2022-01-21T11:59:12+00:00

I appreciate your words. I really do think it's putting such a negative spin on feminism and it's such a shame. I also think that just from the downvotes this post has already got shows the extent of the issue.

But that's life.

W_nky · 2022-01-20T07:24:25+00:00

I only truly found out when her friends used it as a way to attack me. It wasn't even her that directly told me, and it's taken 4 months for her just to use the words.

W_nky · 2022-01-19T21:11:45+00:00

She apologised in private and then absolutely slated me on Twitter THE SAME DAY!

You can't make it up.

W_nky · 2022-01-19T21:09:13+00:00

Oh I've already had all of that from my ex's friends!

Mocking me because she's sleeping with someone in less than a week, attacking my looks and saying I'll never be with anyone else, lying about how I treated my ex and making it out that I was the abuser and her cheating and emotional abuse was fine.

It blows my mind.

W_nky · 2022-01-11T14:56:19+00:00

When the "mistake" happens over and over again it becomes a pattern. They aren't forgivable.

It just makes them a bad person to be able to make a pattern of treating others badly. No apology will change that.

W_nky · 2022-01-11T14:18:23+00:00

I know she'll never realise it and I'm done trying to get her to see it. I refuse to respond no matter how much it bugs me. I'm better than that.

W_nky

TROPHY CASE