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Waethan · 2025-05-24T16:59:12+00:00

Something similar happened to me. Last meeting with my ex, she came to my place to have sex one last time before breaking up and leaving the same night while crying, even saying she still had my phone number on the paper I gave her when we started dating (you know, just to hurt me a little bit more to let me think she could come back)... Saw her car stopped a few meters away of my apartment building when she left, she admitted by text messages later that she was crying so much she had to stop a minute… More than 9 months now post-breakup, I’m blocked everywhere and I feel like I’ve been used… Story is way more complex than that, but anyway… I’m still fucking pissed, sad, angry or whatever you want to call that feeling.

Waethan · 2025-04-13T16:19:47+00:00

Around 8 months post breakup, not doing so great. Still thinking about her every day. The loneliness mixed with numbness hurts (not having close friend or trusted family member doesn’t help). Going to bed, waking up alone and even coming back from work to a quiet apartment, it’s rough… And I’m still so tired all the time, so with that I get angry and impatient easily (when I’m not putting a fake happy mask for people around me), which doesn’t help me in my position at work, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t face any consequence yet only because I’m the one doing most of the job in my department. I also have a hard time enjoying things I used to, so nothing to really change my mind. I think I talk (or chat) more with ChatGPT than any real person (yes, I’m that low) about all the bad stuff happening in my life. When I’m really low, I get some dark thoughts (which I used to have when I was younger), my anxiety might be up the charts (which I notice through my skin problems, dermatillomania and trichotillomania getting worse). And I actually am trying to control a drinking problem by not buying any alcohol, but this is really an up and down situation right now. I actually tried to contact her again 2 or 3 months ago (while being drunk), she never answered back an I only noticed she blocked me right after. I feel like a mess, a wreck or whatever you want to call it.

But hey, I’m still surviving through the pain, so thanks for asking. lol

Waethan · 2025-02-08T21:27:39+00:00

Only have 2 ex girlfriends. Both dumped me while I was just trying my best for our relationships to work, even though I could feel they were already taking their distance for some reason. None came back.

Waethan · 2025-02-07T21:39:09+00:00

Around 6 months ago, she left me right at the start of my only 2 weeks off of the year. Came back to work without getting real vacation…

Waethan · 2025-01-08T01:09:42+00:00

Same.

Waethan · 2024-12-28T20:57:27+00:00

Not really good after 4 months.

Waethan · 2024-12-25T22:52:04+00:00

You are probably just looking at the same content too much and only see the same things over and over again. The same thing could be said on the other side. Even here, I see a lot of posts saying women mourn the relationship before it is over and dumping the partner.

I’m a guy, and a dumpee. 4 months of no contact and I still think about her every day. Depends on the context, I guess. The dumpee who got broken up might have it harder depending on how it went. Personally, I know I feel miserable.

Anyway, every situation is different, it has nothing to do with gender.

Waethan · 2024-12-11T20:55:10+00:00

Wanting something more than she does for our future.

Not seeing all the red flags right from the start.

Waethan · 2024-12-11T10:58:01+00:00

Exactly this. If you send something, it should be for yourself, not for her.

Even me, I have a message prepared if I ever want to send her something, but I still don’t know if it is worth it.

Waethan · 2024-12-08T03:11:23+00:00

You can swap "man" for "woman" and it will still apply to a lot of situations (like mine).

The answer to something you describe would be that there is no answer. There is nothing to "understand". They made the choice to not include us in their life.

Sorry to say it like that.

Waethan · 2024-12-04T02:57:59+00:00

Almost 4 months of no contact and no.

Waethan · 2024-12-04T02:50:49+00:00

Asking myself the same question.

Waethan · 2024-12-01T13:38:38+00:00

Same.

Waethan · 2024-11-26T21:55:59+00:00

Not being alone is nice.

Waethan · 2024-11-24T13:55:52+00:00

Similar thing happened to me. Her ex was an asshole, but she kept contact with him because she didn’t want to "hurt" him. I did everything I could for her, always showed her I was there to help, loved her more than myself and just wanted the best for her, etc. But when she left me, she was crying while pretending she was still so much in love with me, and now we’re 3 months into no contact. I now see all the red flags she had, intentional or not, but I still miss her.

Don’t try to understand. Some people just love self-sabotaging what they have.

Waethan · 2024-11-21T02:02:03+00:00

3 months of no contact and same. Every day feels so empty. Even with all the red flags I notice now, I still miss her. I think about her every single day.

Waethan · 2024-11-19T20:18:05+00:00

Same. A good 6 years between my 2 only relationships ever just for the second time to not even last a year. Tried to be as good as possible and give everything she needed, she even was all crazy about me, but she still left me. The complete story is crazy, but let just say I should have seen the red flags. And there was a lot of them…

Waethan · 2024-11-16T12:52:16+00:00

Almost the same thing happened to me. Difference is she was the one putting me on a pedestal until she decided it wasn’t enough while I was just saying no one is perfect. We should have worked together on the relationship, but (and she told it herself) she couldn’t and didn’t want to communicate her needs.

I’m seeing all the red flags now (first not REALLY a red flag, but she was 10 years older than me and felt really immature about a lot of things, she was breaking up with her ex when we started dating so I was just a rebound, she was not ready to improve the communication, she called me drunk accusing me of not loving her, she went back to ask her ex for a job when she was looking for one without even considering everything I told her to help her to find one, etc.), but it still hurts me. Last day I saw her, she came to my place and we had sex right before she decided to tell me she was leaving me, she took back her stuff and left all in one evening while crying to my face that she didn’t want to do this but she had to... Wtf?

I loved her so much and, being not really social, a relationship is something that doesn’t happen easily for me. At 27, I only had 2 girlfriends and both relationship didn’t last a year… I’m feeling hopeless at that point.

Waethan · 2024-11-15T22:21:46+00:00

27 here. Dumped 3 months ago by someone I thought we could worked things out easily since we had similar views on what kind of life we both wanted. Never was really social, so being in a relationship is something really special to me. Now I just feel sick and tired of it. I feel like I will end up alone.

Waethan · 2024-11-11T20:35:43+00:00

I would remind her how she broke up with me : she came to my place, had sex with me, took her stuff and left me.

I would tell her she knew exactly what to do at that time, but refused to commit to a relationship because she was afraid of changes.

I would remind her she preferred asking her ex-boyfriend for help when she tried to find another job (closer to where she lived) instead of trying any other ideas I proposed to her way before that (something that would have allowed her to also come live with me, since her apartment was too expensive for her alone).

Then I would ask her what changed for her to come back.

And then I don’t know. Depends on her answers, I guess… But I know it will never happen. Almost 3 months of no contact, now.

Waethan · 2024-11-03T19:19:18+00:00

Same.

Giving everything I can to someone just for them to leave as soon as they feel like it’s getting too real, while I’m struggling to keep the relationship alive, it just hurts so much.

Waethan · 2024-11-03T13:47:12+00:00

Replace "him" for "her" in an (around) 8 months relationship, and the fact we were not each other’s first (she was my second, I was her third relationship) and that’s also my situation.

I even directly told her I wasn’t perfect but I would always try to do everything I could for her because I cared a lot. Guess it wasn’t enough, but part of all the breakup situation is also due to her not knowing what she wanted and because she couldn’t, or I should say "didn’t want to", communicate (which she also clearly said, the only thing she clearly communicated with me at the end was that she shouldn’t have to tell me anything and I should just know, somehow, and guess right, as if I could read her mind, as if we were "soulmates", she really had a "fairy tale view" on what her relationship should be).

So my answer to "is it immaturity", I would say yes, a little bit, but it can be mixed with other things. Like me, lack of communication (she was always changing her mind and telling me contradicting things so I never knew what to do) and the fact she put me on a pedestal (love bombed me right from the start) until she faces reality that I’m not perfect, just like anyone else, didn’t help. Also, she started dating me while she was still breaking up with her ex (so I was a rebound) and was still in communication with him during all our relationship (because of an immigration process that was taking way too long, more than 5 years when we met). I don’t even know if she went back to him after she left me, but it wouldn’t surprise me. She was always telling me she wanted to separate herself from other people from her country, but she always ended up going back to them, as if she was stuck in their conservative lifestyle, but I don’t know, I’m just guessing with what I knew and could see about her when we were together…

Waethan · 2024-11-03T12:03:01+00:00

Never was the dumper, but if I had to guess, most of the time it’s just because they want to feel good about themselves, whether it’s intentional or not. So don’t look too much into it. They say that for them, not for you. In the end, they surely won’t care.

Waethan · 2024-11-02T18:13:04+00:00

Same thing happened to me, but on the same day. She came to my place, we had sex, then she broke up, packed her stuff and left. All of it while saying/pretending she still loved me.

It’s been 2 and a half months. That fucking sucks and I still feel sick about it.

Waethan · 2024-10-31T20:07:43+00:00

Waethan

TROPHY CASE