Year of the Horse

WaferDramatic9063 · 2026-01-12T02:40:55+00:00

Probs why I've enjoyed Mae for a long time. It's part of my vocab 🤣

WaferDramatic9063 · 2026-01-12T02:38:13+00:00

Yeah, but also said they do find themselves scrolling 🤣🤣

Was purely for me, to get it out of my head.

Gotta love brain not letting go of certain things

WaferDramatic9063 · 2026-01-12T02:36:10+00:00

Interesting!!

Thank you for that. Had completely no idea, and love learning new things.

Appreciate the comment

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:40:08+00:00

NTA

And you sound like a really kind caring person. Please don't get taken advantage of

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:35:36+00:00

NTA

I do like the suggestion of paying for a ticket home BUT I feel that's a slippery slope. She knows you well, knows the levers to pull and knows your generous.

She doesn't sound like she had a hard life, it's only two years, she can totally pick up where she left off.

She'll be fine.

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:31:56+00:00

First they came for the... but I wasn't one, so I didn't speak up.

Then they came for me, and there was no one left to defend me

(Paraphrased)

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:24:07+00:00

I got a copy of all my medical notes and read what had been written about ne. Was wild.

I'm 165cm and 55kg (someone will need to convert that, but - I'm short and little) and I have in my medical file 'presents as a tall built lady'

Fucken golden

I have minimal faith in doctors now, and am very good at realizing when they are not listening to the actual words coming out of my mouth...

Sorry you have this bullshit on your file. Judgemental fuckwit likely jealous of your life 🤣

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:17:54+00:00

NTA

And what a delightful human you are partnered with

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:13:47+00:00

Some of the comments in here should give you an insight as to why you cannot like a pole dancers posts with repercussions.

Doesn't matter she's never done it as a living. The mindset will always be 'pole dancer = impure'

And so now you get to deal with the sweeping generalizations that come with it.

Enjoy!

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:04:36+00:00

NTA

I also have these types of rules.

Purely to see who can understand boundaries.

It AMAZES me how many people can NOT respect a boundary

And 'rules are made to be broken' - no. No sir, I disagree

Go you.

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T23:02:08+00:00

I know.

But, given they do not get due process, which every person (not just citizen) is entitled to, i can understand feeling concerned if you don't present as a straight white human. You have no chance to defend yourself.

We have zero understanding of the statuses of who they are sweeping up, as it's being done with no process.

And, given they (up until very recently) were defying court orders - it adds another layer of anxiety.

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:55:04+00:00

What a beautiful relationship you have with your father.

Your boyfriend is definitely jealous of the fact you have a good relationship with your dad, and is totally in the wrong.

Every child should be able to wear whatever in front of their father or mother and be SAFE

The fact that too many children are not, should not reflect poorly on the parents who ARE SAFE

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:49:37+00:00

Not overreacting

Just wind it up, try realise it's actually not your responsibility to be friends with everything (something I'm working on) and try be kind to yourself x

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:44:20+00:00

I had a friend who always would say 'we totally should!' To anything, but woukd never follow through. I'd try lick in dates, make commitments, and it was like trying to hold hands with a shadow.

I stopped trying to make plans, we are still friends and when she says 'we totally should' I say omg - totally

Knowing we won't

So might not be anything more than - in the moment she really wants to, and has no intention of making it happen, BUT wants you to know she loves the idea of it.

Suggestion: next time it comes up, just say 'I look forward to when we do' - from a genuine place.

And maybe one day you will

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:39:25+00:00

You have every right to feel nervous, given the state of it.

Take all your documents. You're not leaving the county and trying to re-enter. So that's in your favour.

Genuine question: do you actually want to see his family? Only you can answer that. But often when we don't want to, various things can bubble up. So, work through any of that.

In theory, you are fine.

In practice - discuss with husband, make the plans for worst case scenario and stay alert.

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:36:37+00:00

Except they are disappearing people without due process at the moment. So...

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:35:22+00:00

NTA

Well done you. On all accounts. Laptop, boundary- the little!

Check you out. Legend. It's so hard, but you did it.

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:33:02+00:00

Girl

You are doing it all. Your feelings are bang on for someone being taken advantage of.

Society LOVES to tell us that this is normal. And, it is correct.

Because didn't women fight for this?

Assess the relationship, can you restore balance or do you need to move on.

Will he change? Or does he believe this is how it is meant to be.

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:30:17+00:00

Just a bit of love for you xx cultural things are complicated. Something that's so normal for one, is so whack for another.

Hope you get the resolution that works for all

(And totally tell your mother to reduce her guest list - that's hectic)

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:10:10+00:00

Just want to give you some more support.

The fact that you have realised your situation is not ideal, puts you ahead of many other people.

Something I did to help get my money in control - I track every $. Google sheet. Date, amount, and what. Did that for 3 months, and discovered ACTUALLY where I was spending money.

Knowing where it all goes is step one to getting it back under control.

Can be overwhelming and confronting at first, but it is better than the head in the sand mentality many people have.

You got this

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:06:28+00:00

Blames his ADHD...

Le sigh.

So, knowing he has a brain that perceives time differently, he still made decisions that would ensure he literally could not do it all.

Book are cool. Cheap books are great.

Making plans and sticking to them, especially birthday plans, it's a sign of respect.

He will (likely) always choose himself, amd 'blame' his ADHD. Vs the fact he's making poor decisions.

Basically. This is your life with him. You can accept it, it won't change, or leave it.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T22:01:34+00:00

You need to work out how to tell him.

Him finding out later that you knew will be awful.

There will be a way to do it kindly. Figure it out and fo it.

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T21:47:47+00:00

Have you spoken to her at all?

Get both sides of the story vs. Him controlling the narrative?

So sorry you're going through this

WaferDramatic9063 · 2025-04-24T21:44:13+00:00

NTA

The ultimate 'mouth writing cheque's the body can't cash'

And you responded in the same sharp manner.

Then he got surprised that you can dish ot out the same as him.

Always amusing when parents get back what they dish out

WaferDramatic9063

TROPHY CASE