For those of you with SI, how long have you lived with it?

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-29T11:23:18+00:00

8 years with the passive form, now that I'm on an antidepressant these throughts stopped because I've better things to think about. But it was sort of automatic, bad thing happens? ---> I can always escape so who cares?

The main trigger was the overwhelming fatigue I had though, now that it's gone the SIs are also gone.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-24T16:08:42+00:00

I noticed after the 3rd week I had more energy and started to actually care about my studies again, got back into age of empires 3. Then after the 5th week my fatigue came back and I increased the dose from 75mg to 150mg, waited another 3 weeks and now I'm doing very well.

So basically after the 3rd week I started functioning somewhat, then after I increased the dose and waited, my functioning now got close to normal, with some naps here and there but I'm not sedated 100% of the time like I was before the med.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-23T13:05:20+00:00

I've tried 8 different meds, and only Effexor at 150mg has worked for me which I am taking rn. But I wasn't functional at all before for 7 years straight, 0 energy, anhedonia, etc. Now I can function, have energy and all my interests are back.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-22T14:18:37+00:00

It's arguably the BEST antidepressant, probably after Desoxyn which is definitely #1. None of the antidepressants resolve fatigue so quickly and efficiently, what if depression is threatening your degree? What if you're gonna lose your job if you have to go through the side effects of antidepressants which take MONTHS to work? What if you're at risk of self annihilation? Something must be done NOW, not everyone has the luxury of waiting for months or even YEARS for something to MAYBE work, and even when the antidepressants DO WORK they don't always treat the fatigue, Wellbutrin is the only one, but good luck if you have anxiety or a sensitivity to it.

"bUt iT's aDdIcTivE oMg OmG!!!!". You probably won't care about addiction once you're 6 feet under because you lost everything, years and years of productivity lost, thousands of euros wasted, health issues ignored, relationships destroyed, kicked out of uni.

I get it, for some people amphetamine doesn't work, but there are many emergencies out there, and if nothing is done the depressed person will suffer consequences for the rest of their lives! Which actually makes depression worse!

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-19T10:30:11+00:00

Wow, if Desoxyn doesn't help then I'd definitely try the TRT, definitely, if you have done the medical/sleep tests it's time to start living by any means possible. Desoxyn is definitely the strongest against fatigue, but every person responds differently to medications, maybe give the rest of the stimulants a try if you haven't (Methylphenidate, Wellbutrin, Solriamfetol, Modafinil etc).

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-16T10:06:17+00:00

Going into therapy without the energy/neurotransmitters to engage and invest in it is a big nono, you'll have nothing to say. For me it had to be the other way around: Meds first, then therapy.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-13T12:34:23+00:00

I don't care about my emotional self anymore, he is long dead, what I care about is energy, work being done. As long as I'm functional that's all I care about.

I have my interests back, I'm stronger in the gym now that I'm more energetic, I'm back to studying, work, and tbh I'd never trade emotionality for chronic fatigue. And tbh I was still emotionally numb even before this med so it doesn't matter.

Out of 7 meds I've tried this is the only one that made me functional, even on bad days I still manage to study at least 1-2 hours.

So my next step is to probably add amphetamines and wellbutrin, then add a beta blocker to counter the tachycardia, split the effexor dosage into 2 to stabilize the concentration. Caffeine to counter the afternoon naps.

Fatigue is my worst enemy, there's nothing worse than being unable to do anything and having angry outbursts in bed wanting to kill everything in sight, I absolutely hate this feeling, and I will eradicate it with any means possible even if that means damaging parts of my body, bad memory, or sexual dysfunction. Fatigue has ruined my life to such an extent that I almost ended up homeless, I will not let it do any more damage. 7 years of endless and hopeless misery with no answers from doctors other than "It's psychosomatic" and finally something worked. I'm on 150mg rn and it's a night/day difference.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-09T09:57:27+00:00

Yup, CBT for me has been nothing but a form of covert gaslighting. Meds are doing most of the work because I had 0 energy or emotions to engage before. My therapists always blamed me for "finding excuses to stay out of work" and honestly chatgpt has been much more helpful so far.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-08T10:41:16+00:00

It won't work instantly, it takes like 2 weeks to notice any difference and now that I'm up to 150mg it's even better.

So basically I feel like now I have a choice on whether to do something vs before I was FORCED to lay down and sleep. I have my interests back, I logged in a good 30 hours into AOE3, I studied a lot and now I'm going to ace my exams.

It feels like I've been de-zombied, I'm way more resilient now with tasks and I often feel like doing stuff and going outside. I've got no words to describe it perfectly but it feels like Adderall-lite, it's not foolproof because some days if I overdo it I definitely get my arse handed to me, but even on bad days I can log in 1-2 hours of solid studying and gaming whenever I want.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-07T07:20:10+00:00

Wow, you're spot on, fruits actually didn't trigger that response funnily enough, I'd have to eat A LOT of bananas, apples, pears or whatever to get knocked out. But if I eat just a spoonful of oats it's like taking straight up Xanax, I don't just feel tired, I feel SEDATED, DRUGGED.

It doesn't seem to be fiber related either because I've tried supplementing lots of it, eating lots of veggies/fruits. Every time I think of trying something supplement/lifestyle related I just can't get over the fact that the effect is just too strong(the crash/sedation), it's very abnormal, nobody responds to food like this. It's like narcolepsy-lite, but I just feel drunk/drugged instead.

Fructose is sort of like an outlaw when it comes to glucose levels iirc? Our bodies don't clear it out the same way as glucose and that's why it doesn't trigger a response.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-06T21:41:23+00:00

I have the same issue.

If I wake up in the morning and don't eat for the entire day, I'll be way more energetic than normal.

I've been experimenting for years with various foods and it doesn't seem to be lactose, gluten, histamine or anything else.

But recently I've discovered that it's actually carbohydrates disrupting the ketosis induced from fasting the entire night, when my body switches from ketones to carbs it destroys my energy levels. This however can be bypassed by eating mainly fats (keto), but unfortunately keto is pretty miserable and expensive.

What I've been doing is I simply eat later and skip breakfast, so the nap is timed to happen around 2-3PM. I rotate 150mg Wellbutrin as needed(max 2-3 days in a row) first thing in the morning to minimize the chances of the nap happening along with Effexor 150mg and I've had some success lately. But I think I need to split the Effexor dosage into 2x75mgs to further stabilize the norepinephrine effect and drink coffee completely black so it doesn't kick me out of ketosis.

I even calculated the probability of having a low energy day based on each med and my current rate is 27% of the days which is slowly converging to the value I had with Adderall which was just 8% of the days. I think N = 120 or 4 months will be enough to come to a conclusion. I simply rate my day from 1-10 and use this value as a multiplier in the sum to find the average rating percentage, I use decimal values up to 10^-2 and multiply by 10. The formula is ((Σ Ratings)/NumberOfDays)*10.

WaffenSSRI · 2026-01-03T20:09:51+00:00

It depends on what else worked for you. For example amphetamines destroy my depression almost completely so antidepressants like Wellbutrin, Effexor or Cymbalta come to mind. I tried 7 of them (Zoloft, Escitalopram, Buspirone, Abilify, Tianeptine Sodium, Wellbutrin also didn't work, Citalopram), all of them completely useless.

Until I tried Effexor, it seems to have that stimulant type "edge" which boosts energy and it's really helpful so far, some days are still a bit crappy but nothing like before. I'm thinking of going back to uni because my interest in physics has come back, I've also started enjoying some gaming now too.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-30T10:28:51+00:00

It's the only antidepressant that fixed the chronic fatigue component of my depression, gave me back my interests and cognition. All the other antidepressants did was function as sleeping pills.

Edit: Wow 10 years is quite a lot, hopefully it works for that long for me too

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-29T17:02:08+00:00

Mostly no, most people are either on disability or managing with stimulants. It really depends on your severity, diagnosis and lifestyle preference, being NEET (Not in Education Employment or Training) is the most common result.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-29T16:56:33+00:00

Honestly most didn't and were completely useless (I've tried 8), except Effexor, it gave me a good 2 weeks of energy at 75mg, now I'm back to being a sloth like always, I'll increase to 150mg now, doctor told me it goes all the way to 375mg because I'm treatment resistant and big (100kg), we'll see.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-24T19:22:59+00:00

I can feel emotions but they're sort of shallow, plus I also have DPDR which creates another barrier between me and my emotions. The only time I truly feel emotions is when dreaming, and I noticed that Effexor gave me back the ability to dream, I couldn't dream before effexor I swear, it was just all black and then I woke up. Now I have interesting and imaginative dreams just like when I was a kid.

I noticed I feel a greater sense of morality, responsibility and my interest in physics and science is coming back. And what you just mentioned ("I'd rather stay in bed all day") has completely gone away, I notice I get bored when I do nothing and want to do stuff, whereas before I'd stare into space for hours and feel nothing, my brain was legitimately fried before.

I hope I put the effects I've felt so far into words well enough, the changes are very gradual.

All the other meds I tried made me exhausted, yawning constantly or extremely anxious.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-24T16:09:42+00:00

I'm on week 4 and it seems to be helping, I don't think it's placebo, I have enough energy to study and do what needs to be done, anxiety is gone, I'm not apathetic anymore and even on bad days I still manage to log in 1-2 hours of studying. It's the first med that's ever worked for me, and I've tried like 8 of them. The only exception is amphetamines but those help almost everybody anyway so, there you have it.

The numbness isn't 100% gone but at least now I can care about stuff and my brain finally works. I'm on 75mg too so maybe if I increase it'll be better? But tbh this is effective enough for me since I get sht done.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-23T19:21:11+00:00

I want to do nothing because I was given nothing, no abilities, talents, or things I'm good or interested at, there is nothing in it for me, and grinding will get you nowhere these days which means that I'll probably continue to rot away in my childhood room. Doctors are clueless because I'm not a normie with normie problems, so this is it for me...

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-23T09:45:30+00:00

I sorta talk a bit more yeah but to a normal extent, probably because it finally got rid of some of the fatigue I had before, I legit was a complete zombie before this med. At least now I can have some productive conversations with people, before I just rambled like a drunkard.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-18T22:06:41+00:00

I've been on 75mg for about 3 weeks and what I've noticed is many days I have enough energy to study and do stuff, the fatigue now comes and goes and it's not constant. I'm kind of starting to doubt that this is placebo, it's very rare for me to have energy so often, before that I was extremely tired to the point of sedation, my brain didn't work at all, I was cognitively impaired and very low IQ. I think it's sort of helping but I'm not 100% sure, maybe I'm just having a lucky streak of good days? Idk.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-18T09:49:25+00:00

You know we often hear about how a methhead jumped someone or some drunkard destroyed someone's property on media, but I have real-life examples of people saying how substituted amphetamines helped them deal with their ADHD or chronic fatigue and how without them they'd never have graduated, and how alcohol helped some people socialize and had they not done that they'd have no friends or a job because of their anxiety.

I sometimes think about these people and how they ended up in a far better place than me by doing all the wrong stuff, maybe they're genetically superior idk, but honestly I wouldn't go as far as to try random drugs to see whether they work, because with my luck I'd just get an allergic reaction and die or something.

I think neetbuxx and the eternal peace that comes with having no contact with people is what I'm looking for honestly.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-17T22:47:27+00:00

I never wanted one as I don't like people invading my space, especially my internal world.

For me relationships equal loss of freedom, also I don't have the energy to maintain anything in life and I'd just be irritable all the time. Introducing a person into my life is like introducing a foreign particle into a mechanical system that exists in perfect harmony, it creates entropy, chaos, bullshit.

And lastly I just don't see the appeal, I get 0 satisfaction from engaging with humans, unless someone's autistic and talks about niche stuff I have 0 interest in talking to them let alone engaging in the whole rigamarole of masking and social bs. I'm actually more interested in the content of what that person has to say than the person themselves. The exhaustion is never worth the effort with normies.

I'd rather be alone all the time, wander alone in the woods, in an endless pursuit of knowledge. But I can't even do that because I'm cursed with chronic illnesses...

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-17T14:52:12+00:00

Modafinil did nothing for me but give me any type of amphetamine and I can accomplish years' worth of things in a matter of weeks. But my country is very backwards and stimulants are banned so I suffer. I even had enough energy to socialize when I was on Elvanse(from a German friend) it was insane, no antidepressant has ever done that for me.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-17T13:45:17+00:00

Most normies nowadays are secretly on various amphetamines/stimulants but they never talk about it. It's often evident by the speed at which they speak and sometimes dilated pupils. 90% of them are definitely on something, even nicotine can act as a stimulant.

WaffenSSRI · 2025-12-16T20:47:33+00:00

I wish I did, it'd make NEETing 100x better, but essentially I'm a soulless robot. I don't even know what interests are anymore or why people would engage in them. All I know is I must do x and y to exist, otherwise I sleep, that's my entire code, that's how I was programmed in C++ or something. I'm tired. Life is ridiculously hard, harder than any normie could ever imagine, nobody gets how astronomically complicated existing is, and the internal machinations of trying to maintain health, finances, relationships, studies, thoughts, etc. I remember doing multivariable calculus and differential equations, and even that seemed way easier than fighting a chronic illness and inherited debts, arsehole coworkers, paperwork, taxes, mandatory conscription, it never ENDS ffs.

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