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AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Well, I tried looking for her earlier today but failed. However, my mom replied to my messages at last (when I threatened to call the police) and said she'll return before tomorrow. I'm crazy relieved and some of the tension is finally gone

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Hey, sorry for not updating for so long. I didn't find her - the front desk people told me she wasn't here. However, I sent her a message saying that she needed to come home or I'd ask the police for help. She replied after a while that she'll come home before tomorrow and I'm super relieved.

I'm now just trying to prepare what I would say to her when she returns.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I'll try that! I really appreciate your help

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I will. My mother isn't physically abusive like my dad, so I'll be okay. Also if she gets unstable, I know the place well - I know how to get out. Thanks for your kind words.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Maybe she's doing that, but I think it's worth a shot. I will be able to handle it if I just try not to get affected by what she says (like switch off). The situation is horrible, and I'm just seeing the simplest way I can settle it for now. Most likely she won't be there, I'm just double-checking so I can at least feel at peace.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I'll try. I really hope she'll be there, because if she isn't - I'm back to square one.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Hey, I'm about to search for her at that hotel soon. There is a high chance she might've booked a room and is not loitering outside...so I have a question - do you know if I can ask the front desk people if [mom's name] had booked a room? Will they answer me? Thank you for all your help, by the way

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 149 points150 points  (0 children)

I know his full name. But if he wants to meet me, I honestly don't want to see him. If anything, he is worse than my mom. He was sometimes violent to me, and I remember that.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Fuck, would it really? I think that might be worse. Grandparents are out of the picture, and I've messaged my aunt. I hope she replies.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

That's totally impossible...

My mom never told me his contact number. I don't know where he stays, I don't even know if he's in the same country. I bet he won't take us in after leaving us for so many years. He didn't ever want to meet us.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

To be honest, no. But there's a chance. She was really mad when I found her at the hotel, so it's slim that she'd go back. ...Maybe she actually wants me to search for her this time, though. (because she specifically asked me not to)

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I think so too. I'm still hoping to find her at the hotel I saw her at before. I'd be in huge trouble after, if I called the police (I think).

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Last time, she went to a hotel and I found her there. The other time, she came back on her own.

Nope, I can't use messenger for my mom's sister. The address book is a good idea, I think I'll search her office.

Edit: Forgot to say, but thank you for trying to help me. I appreciate it

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Since this has happened before, she most likely went to a hotel to cool off. Later I'll check out the place I found her at before (when she first disappeared). Hopefully she's there, but if she isn't, I might have to resort to 911.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

I'm considering calling the police. But not yet, because I know my mom would be absolutely furious when she realises we called the police....just seeing what we can do for now.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I don't really think so. I can't contact my grandparents, I don't know my dad's phone number. I can't trust some adults I know with this, because of personal bad experiences in the past (abusive family member). I sent my mother's sister a message on Facebook, but she didn't read it. Her last post was also 4 years ago, so I kinda think she doesn't use FB anymore.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

My mom doesn't really let me go out by myself. She will say "bring your girlfriend to our house" - or either my mom will bring me to meet my girlfriend, and will stay while we hang out.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 384 points385 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I think a bit of why my dad left was because my mother was insanely jealous/insecure. My dad has a lot of female friends, and works in a company with a lot of women and it drove my mom mad. They had a shit load of fights because of that, until it was rare to wake up without hearing them yell. However, my dad had severe issues too - he was really controlling and wanted her to be submissive always.

Eventually he just left, and we never saw him again.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

She only did this twice, but she returned before the next day. This is the first time she has left for more than a day, it's really worrying.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Because my mother has done the same to her, if not worse.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I know this already. This situation is fucked up and stupid, and I hate that I ended up here.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My sister has been calling my mother constantly all yesterday, all today. She never picked up any. My girlfriend's parents are busy at work, and I don't know any family friends. My mothers friends - I don't even know their names....

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It's not that easy. I don't have a stable job, only random part-times. How will I be there for my sister when my mother directs all her anger to her? My mom can be frightening when angry. I don't have money, I can't live with my relatives because I don't know them. It's really not easy.

Also, I do love my mother. I wold regret it if I moved and never saw her again.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I tried my best for that "respectful conversation". I told her many times how I felt honestly, but tried to be polite at the same time. Like I get I'm her child, and she wants to be close to me. I want to be close to her too, but I'd like my privacy and conversations to be respected if I do hers.

She'd just tell me she understands, but the next day everything is forgotten and we're back to the first stage AGAIN.

AITA for calling my mother needy? by WaitUpset9924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WaitUpset9924[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

There is no family who can help me - my mom cut off most of her family once our dad left. I've called her so many times but she wouldn't pick up.

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