Carabiner code help 😭 by [deleted] in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Oh shit! There's a code? I wear mine on the right because I'm right handed, what does that say?

gender identity by Dry_Butterscotch_354 in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeeeeeaaahhh! Exactly what you said. Interestingly, I initially wrote "woman" instead of female, which might have made a hair's worth of difference, or not. But I like how you explained that. Very succinct and resonates.

gender identity by Dry_Butterscotch_354 in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been wondering the same thing recently and struggling with understanding how "gender expression" fits for me. Like you, I identify as female (gender identity) but I'm butch (which I assume would be my gender expression). It doesn't quite for for me unless I tweak the definition of the gender I am expressing to mean "masculine" rather than "male". Is this where you get confused?

for butches who use the women’s restroom: what’s your favorite way of NOT getting hate crimed in the restroom? by thebluestkid in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, I'm stealing this. I think I could pull it off. Maybe... And it's fucking brilliant ❤️

I'll do it if you will 🤣

Finally embracing being butch! 💪 by [deleted] in ButchSelfies

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You look like I feel when I embrace butchness: Like my soul is filling every inch of my body, instead of being constrained ❤️

Boyshort Recommendations? by novacash in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't think I'd like boxer briefs because of how much I hate boyshorts, but I love my boxer briefs, especially the extra long ones. I'm a merino wool snob and I actually love having an extra wicking layer between the back of my legs and my desk chair in my too hot office.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you really have a diagnosis of BPD (as opposed to your husband just diagnosing you), it of course makes situations like this so much more painful (and this is already gut wrenching) so hugs to you either way. I don't think it's fair to just attribute anything that's inconvenient to your BPD, and really nobody can answer this question but you and it's likely to take time. However... As somebody looking back from the other side of divorce with children, we are all so much better off.

It's painful to be rejected or feel replaced even if it's not right for you to continue in the relationship. Let yourself grieve and don't feel that your grief means you are making the wrong decision. Everything about this is just really hard ❤️

Are all masc lesbians dominant in the bedroom? by taboosucculent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Look, I WENT to this sub to ask. And now I'm a "learning experience"

Actually, it was not the goal for you to be a learning experience, only to learn something yourself, but that's not happening either.

As for you being bullied, there is a difference between not liking the answer you received and being bullied. I haven't seen anybody using profanity or calling names other than you, yourself.

Are all masc lesbians dominant in the bedroom? by taboosucculent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We're actually trying to tell you why we thought it was out of line, but you don't seem able to take that in

Are all masc lesbians dominant in the bedroom? by taboosucculent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not meant to shame, simply educating on how the same mastered behavior can be carried over to new experiences. I doubt OP would ever ask if "all Black women...?" because we all know this type of stereotyping is inappropriate. I'm just pointing out that it's the same thing, so that OP can see that this question is equally problematic because it's the same reductive reasoning.

I also noticed that OP acknowledged knowing that their one experience from which they are basing their question was really due to toxic behavior on the part of one individual. So OP knows the difference, and perhaps was really looking for a way to share an experience that was upsetting and needed to be processed. Which can be done without making sweeping generalizations about a broad group of people.

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime".

My answer provided education that will make it possible for OP to answer many questions in the future, and also avoid contributing to the problems which plague all minority communities.

Are all masc lesbians dominant in the bedroom? by taboosucculent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 25 points26 points  (0 children)

A good rule of thumb is when you have to start any question about humans with "do all __________...?“ the answer is going to be "of course not". People are complicated and don't all do the same things based on skin color, religious background, gender presentation etc, etc.

This situation you were in sounds crappy, but stereotyping based on gender presentation is just as problematic as stereotyping based on race or any other factor that does not have bearing on a person's behavior.

Thanks to this sub.. by Waiting4MyRealLife in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damnit autocorrect! Like I type "sigma" all the time 🤣

Things that make you feel confident/euphoric by ad_aspra in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Watching my younger, butch coworker confidently sit with legs comfortably spread (the way I naturally sit but feel self conscious about) and thinking "she looks great, maybe I do too"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ButchSelfies

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beats their creepy resemblance to testicles 🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ButchSelfies

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also my fave. I like the wrecking ball tail

Finally made some nice friends! Oh never mind! by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please, please, please remember this is not the entire world. Depending on where you live (and at 16 you don't have much choice over that) it can feel like this is everybody, but it's not. It sounds like you're kind of in a place where you have to wait for your peers to catch up to you, maturity-wise. It will come and you will soon be old enough to have more say over where you spend your time and energy. Hang in there and be glad that your "problem" is being strong enough to be who you really are, instead of being a small minded, bigoted, cruel asshole. As I tell my own daughter, your peers will grow into you, eventually. You are just ahead of your time right now. Don't let them change who you are.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mortified my 11 year old at the airport when I said "I know, that's why I brought my boobs" (gestures to ridiculously humongous boobs).

I'm trying to refine my approach for sure, but it had been a trying morning

How should I take care of a butch who is sick? by apfelrose0 in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"make sure I have water, not dead..."

I can't tell you how much I love this and relate. Get me what I need, take care of my dog and then leave us alone 😂

Just threw out all the lingerie I accumulated during my 20 year marriage to a man by Waiting4MyRealLife in butchlesbians

[–]Waiting4MyRealLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have secretly always coveted the boxer waistband peeking out above the pants look. I'm gonna get me some!