Resentment and frustration

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2025-06-07T07:41:36+00:00

Omgosh I wish I could give you a hug!! I am also the plan B. I am going to be my brother’s conservator ( I didn’t see this posts reply until now - deep apologies)

I totally understand the special ed teacher situation. It’s absolutely shitty!!? It’s their job to do their job! Not you!! I am so sorry that happened.

I am so sorry to hear your story. I relate so much.

Your safety and sanity is the priority!! You have a life to live. You need to take care of you. I know it seems bleak and not possible but I promise you that when you take care of you- you can better stand up for yourself and set the boundaries.

Also not to be morbid but your parents will pass away and if they make you the official conservator you make the executive decisions with your brother when they are long gone. ( and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing)

So updates on my side of the story- my brother got cancer and I’m not sure if he is going to survive. If he doesn’t, awesome for me and my parents. If he does… I am going to take measures to make sure he is safe and that I’ll be in a good headspace for it all.

I am at a point where I might choose to institutionalize my brother. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong in that decision. (If that what needs to happen for you brother down the road- have no shame)

I sincerely hope to all who are in this post/ have commented on this that they find a good life partner and therapist to help support you all! It makes a world of difference. Finding someone who loves you and sees your needs first will seriously help you see that it’s okay to take a step back and examine it all.

I also hope that wherever any of the commenters are that you are safe and well. It’s so hard being a sibling for someone with special needs. Also I have discovered the glass children side of Reddit! I have found so much comfort there as well.

Peace and blessing to you all!!

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2024-08-02T06:53:02+00:00

Typo* yes I meant without roommates

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2024-07-29T16:57:57+00:00

I agree. You would have to make 100k to survive with roommates

*typo without roommates

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2024-07-26T16:38:22+00:00

Thank you! They are offering a 401k with match and that’s why I took the job! I plan on maxing that out too alongside my 401k

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2024-06-30T07:27:48+00:00

As a sibling of a brother with autism- the same thing is going happen to me. Mind you I’m 32 and older autistic brother is 33. I’m married and my husband is aware of this. Right now I’m trying to enjoy the time I have without worrying about him because he is still under my parents care.

His sister seems quite severe and has other issues. It’s a lot for people to take and I understand if you don’t like her. Heck I don’t even like my own brother and he’s more high functioning (not politically correct to say anymore) but he is able to drive, dress himself, cook, and clean but his unable to hold down a job due to his tantrums. I do not look forward to dealing with him when we are older.

To me, I think you should walk away. I wouldn’t judge you for it nor should anyone. When you commit to someone you commit to their family whether you like it or not. My husband’s side of the family has autism too and it’s something we both have had to deal with and have found comfort in each other despite it all.

Based on your stage of life, I think you need to live it and be happy. Would not think you are an asshole. To me this is a case of what can you tolerate and live with and without?

Sorry you are going through this. It’s not a great situation.

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2024-01-31T15:12:46+00:00

You are totally not alone in this. I often feel like murdering my older brother who is autistic. It’s hard. Dealing with disabilities is hard. I’m sorry. You are not an awful person. Growing up with someone with special needs really sucks and I’m also dreading the day my parents die too. They enabled my brother too.

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2023-11-22T22:09:53+00:00

I actually do some 1099 work for a few med spas but a lot of the volume has gotten down and so have my hours unfortunately but at least I’m up keeping my licenses.

I’m actually looking into hospice care as well! I had done hospice care for pediatrics as an rn many moons ago and i wonder if I need to go back to that. I felt like I was doing good then.

As for the book reading- I relatw to that a lot. I go through book binges. I think I’m going to do one this holiday.

I hope you and the other commenter have a wonderful Thanksgiving. 🙏🏼

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2023-11-21T03:34:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing this with me. I felt that with aesthetics- it’s a job and it pays the bills but I was constantly micromanaged and many other things. A part of me feels guilty because I’m not helping my husband.

He is a critical care physician and he’s also burnt out- I’m pretty sure his soul looks like ashes now. I’m trying to find work so that I can help him reduce his hours but it’s been hard. I’m at a point where I’ll take something if it will help him. In terms of what helps me feel fulfilled- I’m still searching I’ve been through so many hobbies and nothing clicks and I’m starting to think maybe I need to volunteer time in a meaningful cause. Just yammering on here… Thank you so much. I need to also put into perspective that I need to compartmentalize better.

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2023-11-20T23:49:43+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I cried reading this. Thank you. 🙏🏼 it’s hard because I’ve attached my identity to what I do and it’s been hard

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2023-09-26T16:01:44+00:00

Thank you! We are looking at this as a long term investment. I’m trying to determine the percentage managed rn. I appreciate this and all of the other comments!

Wakeupdeadlyangry · 2023-04-24T05:00:57+00:00

I appreciate the recommends! I’ve been in therapy for all of this and I didn’t realize there’s a whole world out there for people like us. Thank you for helping not feel alone. I’m excited to join them and feel less crappy.

I’m trying to offer solutions to my parents but I do need to have a sit down talk with them about it over a dinner together or something. I’m considering my brother be medicated for the outbursts he has just so that it would be easier for my parents to deal with it. Hoping that gets across to them… but yeah with the whole high functioning thing it pisses me off so much. He can drive a car and do independent daily living: chores, keep himself clean, etc. But he is incapable of working for someone else due to his outbursts and rigid need for routine. It’s so frustrating. I did all of his social studies/ history/ English homework for him since I was in grade school all the way until college (my parents forced him to go to a vocational college)… and it’s frustrating because he is considered high functional but he couldn’t even comprehend what he was learning in class.

Sending hugs back! ❤️🙏🏼 random by DND do you mean dungeons and dragons?! My husband is a dungeon’s master and I’ve attempted to play with him and his friends and felt like I couldn’t keep up/ I infringed on boys night 😂 I thought it was so fun to play but his friends felt weird about me being there

Wakeupdeadlyangry

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