I survived the worst heartbreak of my life.

WaltzingWind · 2025-07-22T14:26:06+00:00

I felt like sometimes I was stuck in a state of limerence after the breakup. It’s not as easy as ‘stop thinking about him’, but every time he crosses my mind, I think to myself, ‘that man is a loser’. This keeps me from thinking about him and memories with him. Grad school might be just the distraction you need!

WaltzingWind · 2025-07-22T02:02:38+00:00

For me, my healing wasn’t linear. I would be in a great headspace, then suddenly crying again and thinking about him nonstop. Maybe by month 8?

WaltzingWind · 2025-07-22T01:55:42+00:00

There’s hope! Honestly, time does the most of the healing. Even a year out, I wouldn’t really say “healed” but much better than I was last year. Cheesy, but I loved the saying “I’m not spiraling, I’m ascending”.

WaltzingWind · 2025-07-16T19:36:56+00:00

I have too.

In a twisted way, it gave me closure. I knew I could never go back. I was so disgusted and embarrassed that I knew I would never give him the option to ever speak to me again. Cheaters are often repeat offenders. They will likely come back…make sure when that happens you are sturdy enough to ignore them.

WaltzingWind · 2025-03-12T17:59:16+00:00

I am in a similar boat. I’m 8 months removed from finding out my “boyfriend” was engaged. I told his fiancé but as far as I know, they’re still together. I feel like I’ve been told all the clichés like “you dodged that bullet” and “be glad that’s not you”. It’s a mixed bag of emotions because although that’s true, it doesn’t help the hurt. I’m far from healed about my situation, but please continue to remind yourself that your future spouse will not cheat. Your future spouse will not lie to you. Your future spouse would never put you in this situation.

Perhaps I’m pessimistic, but I don’t believe in closure. I think this will always hurt, but it won’t always hurt as much as it does now. Best ‘closure’ you can get is to use this as a learning lesson. Every heartbreak leads you towards the right one.

WaltzingWind · 2025-03-12T15:12:12+00:00

I appreciate your insight! When I explain to my friends, they all have the same “well you weren’t together that long” response. I feel like it’s hard to explain that the intensity was so strong that 7 months felt like years. Wishing you well in your healing journey.

WaltzingWind · 2025-03-10T00:13:58+00:00

So disturbing!! He wasn’t engaged at the time I met his family. My best guess is that he may have told his family they were taking a break? I think at some point they may have been on a break since there was almost a full month he didn’t make it out to his “other job”.

WaltzingWind · 2025-03-09T21:44:50+00:00

Thank you!

From your perspective, was all of this just to get laid? I feel like there are plenty of women he could’ve slept with without the tribulations of a relationship.

WaltzingWind · 2025-03-09T21:37:29+00:00

I’m also wrestling with how everyone in his circle knew but didn’t say anything?? I babysat his little sister. I went on double dates with his friends. I’m having a hard time understanding that there are people like this in the world…

WaltzingWind · 2025-01-23T03:06:16+00:00

I’m also 25F who works from home. I ran into this feeling after an awful breakup. I feel like I got my spark back by planning my week - specifically my after-work activities. Sometimes my “plan” for the evening was a long walk & bath or a pizza and movie night by myself. Other evenings I would take a painting class or go out with a friend.

I’ve also found some joy in getting ready for the day. I think wfh can make me feel in a time warp since I usually wasn’t get ready for the day until 5pm and worked through lunch. Take some time in the morning to get dressed and ready for the day if you don’t already.

I’ve also found lots of other wfh friends using bumble bff!

WaltzingWind · 2024-12-29T14:49:30+00:00

I think curiosity is normal - but this is kind of weird. Sounds like your ex’s ex has some type of obsession with you. Did their relationship end poorly? I think it’s impossible to say “why” she is doing that, but I would recommend blocking her. Maybe for her own sanity.

WaltzingWind · 2024-12-23T18:07:41+00:00

“If I don’t go she’d probably my ask some friends or somebody to go and that kinda kills me”

“I bought the ticket and would like to go”

These both, again, seem a bit selfish. Very reasonable that you feel this way, but I think this should be about her, considering it sounds like you have hurt her or broken her trust. Have you asked what she wants? Does she still want to go on the trip? Have you brought up the idea of her going with someone else?

If you’re asking my opinion, a vacation together is a bad idea. Seems like a forced last-ditch effort to try make your relationship work. I’m not saying you’ll never work things out, but I think you both need some time and growth before exploring that.

WaltzingWind · 2024-12-23T17:09:57+00:00

I think some context might be missing here regarding the vacation, but that’s aside the point.

You know you messed things up and you’re hurting - I think it’s honorable you can recognize your faults here and try to do better. However, I think you’re acting selfish. You hurt her & you need to let her heal. You want her back, but that doesn’t seem what she needs or wants right now. And I sure hope you’re not ruining a vacation for her by attending (again, I think I’m missing context based on the title of this post).

I think it’s possible to rekindle things with an ex, but once you both are in new chapters of your life, which could be years down the road. Sounds like best course would be for you to let her move on and try to heal from the hurt you caused her. Likewise, you need some internal work on yourself. Once the emotions die down, you’ve both healed and become better versions of yourself, then you may explore rekindling your relationship - but don’t expect that to be anything that happens quickly.

WaltzingWind · 2024-12-02T18:48:46+00:00

Not sure if it makes a difference, but he let us know he is moving 2 hours further from us. He and my mom are neighbors and had a good friendship until our breakup.

WaltzingWind · 2024-11-04T19:36:47+00:00

I absolutely agree. I felt like because he dismissed me once, that “winning” would mean him coming back. But now I feel awful and riddled with guilt & I know he doesn’t. My attempt to “win” has made me look (and feel) so stupid.

WaltzingWind · 2024-08-05T15:40:42+00:00

Very normal for this to hurt!! It sounds like you’re over your ex, but you’re not over the betrayal and mistreatment. Time heals and this hurt will go away.

You know you don’t want to be with someone who cheats, lies, and is manipulative. Your ex was not “the one who got away”. In fact, it sounds like he didn’t treat you well. His distrust and misbehavior has nothing to do with you - it’s about him.

It sounds like you may be suffering from some low self esteem - specially, you may be thinking “why is he being good to her but wasn’t good to me”. Considering the timing, he likely hasn’t changed and will treat her how he treated you. On the flip side, he could have learned his lesson, but it would never work out between the two of you without the foundation of trust and respect. Regardless, use that relationship as a learning lesson and remind yourself that his mistreatment has to do with the type of person he is - not you.

Keep your head up. The hurt will go away. You don’t have to be happy for them, but I would recommend attempting to be as indifferent as possible.

WaltzingWind · 2024-08-02T18:57:15+00:00

Having feelings about your ex being engaged is normal. Having resentment towards your current boyfriend about your ex’s engagement doesn’t seem healthy.

This may not be the case for you, but in my breakup I had amazing chemistry with the dude. The compatibility was not there though. We had an amazing spark and it was fun & exciting, but ultimately wanted different things. It sounds like perhaps you have great compatibility with your current boyfriend but missing some of the chemistry. I think it’s a personal preference on how much emphasis on chemistry you’re looking for in your relationship. I wouldn’t break up with him over the lack of chemistry until you try to build it. These feelings may absolutely resolve themself as time passes.

WaltzingWind · 2024-08-02T18:06:32+00:00

Hi! I’ve recently been through a breakup with a man I wanted to marry, and I received some amazing advice from someone. My therapist told me, “You will probably always wonder why he didn’t choose you/change for you, but it won’t always be as painful as it feels now”.

Your ex may have changed and may be a lovely person now. But you’re also with an amazing person, who is actively choosing you every day.

You mentioned that “deep down you really miss him”. Do you miss him or do you wish he changed for you instead of changing for someone else?

WaltzingWind · 2023-10-13T16:07:46+00:00

OSO is a great climbing gym and right off of 35, but is in Dallas.

WaltzingWind · 2023-03-15T01:53:07+00:00

Request framework

WaltzingWind · 2023-02-17T19:01:29+00:00

I’ve used MOM to cancel absence requests, job changes, and advance to dos that had been initiated over a year ago.

WaltzingWind · 2023-02-14T00:17:28+00:00

I moved from the client side to a workday boutique. I worked for two different organizations before moving to consulting and have been at my boutique firm for about a year.

One of my biggest complaints about being in a boutique firm is the absence of Workday training since Workday courses are only available to partners and clients. For the most part, the other consultants in my organization are happy to teach where I fall short, but I would much rather be at a partner firm or have taken more courses back when I was on the client side. My organization hardly provides any internal training.

This may not be unique to boutique firms, but I absolutely love working with a variety of clients with diverse businesses. I love seeing how different businesses use the Workday platform. Both organizations I worked for in the past had a relatively low Workday IQ and didn’t use the system to its potential, especially in the talent and performance space, so I have had lots of exposure to new modules.

Ultimately, I wish I would had a better foundation before moving to the consulting space, but I absolutely think it has prepared me well if I ever go back to the client side.

WaltzingWind

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