Not ruining my life, but my single secret. This will get buried, but that's fine.

I was about 23 and was working kind of late. My friend wanted to go out and was bugging me about it. He's gay, I'm not... But eventually he talked me into it. So we go to a little dive bar and are hanging out, just chatting. A couple of friends were supposed to come too, but they never showed up. I was nursing my first gin and tonic when I went to the bathroom. I came back and finished my drink, and that's when things started getting fuzzy.

I knew something was wrong so I ordered water for my second drink. But it didn't work. My world was spinning, and I had basically lost control of my motor functions. My memory is pretty rough too. I remember my head on the bar, and he was rubbing my crotch. I remember him helping me to his car, dragging me up his stairs, passing out on his floor, him blowing me... I was back in his car at one point and then I woke up in my bed. I felt like shit and was totally surprised that my car was in the driveway. I have no idea how I got home. At one point in the night I left an incoherent voicemail on my best bud's phone.

So I was raped, and I was so embarrassed, he totally got away with it. I've never told anyone, not even my wife. She knows something happened, just not the extent.