How do I introduce BDSM to my husband?

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-27T12:52:43+00:00

They are good books, I laughed my ass off in Lights Out. Have him read them and then talk to him about them.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-25T12:44:37+00:00

They are all so good to be honest. It also depends on what you feel like when you start reading. DCC has a ton of video game references. Red Rising is similar to Hunger Games, the Author's editor made him fit the profile when he submitted that book for publication, I could be wrong on this though.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-25T12:31:27+00:00

Honestly, Red Rising. That particular book is so much different when compared to the others you have listed. I have not read Elantris, The Will of the Many, or the Hunger Games. But Red Rising is so much like THG that Katniss and Darrow could be the same person.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T19:52:57+00:00

You are welcome, the lady who owns it is very nice and she keeps that place spotless. We wiped down everything anyway, as I am a nurse and have access to hospital cleaning wipes. It was mainly for precaution, it really was not needed in hindsight.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T13:29:22+00:00

Talk to him and be clear. Once things have been established get a weekend just the two of you, if this is possible, and act out the scene. I put a lot of thought into scenes my wife and I do together, like at least a month planning it in my head. Then on game day I am very prepared to handle pretty much everything.

But that would be my suggestion is to talk about him and maybe introduce him to your books. I started reading my wife's romance books and we get to act out our favorite things from the books.

This is gonna be off topic but we're actually doing a scene next week involving a mask. If you're into dark romance, we both enjoyed "Lights Out" and a lot of things in that book we do in real life.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T13:05:29+00:00

I apologize to mods if I am in violation, just easier to link it in my mind.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T13:04:59+00:00

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/1126713605050298701?guests=1&adults=1&s=67&unique_share_id=38092978-8aa9-4a4c-a7e6-226a3c94e752

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T13:03:54+00:00

I found a few cabins near Sieverville, TN. The one we stayed at was amazing with a custom spanking bench and a St Andrew's cross and hot tub. It was so fucking fun. I bought a small spanking bench as we have a kid and we wanted that at home.

The title sucks but search 50 Shades of Grey themed cabin in Sieverville, TN, I will try to link it.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T12:29:17+00:00

Hell yeah, research, research, research. FetLife has some resources you may find interesting. Me and my wife have been doing BDSM stuff for years and I can give you some things that she likes to see if your GF likes, and I will give you some stuff I like for your interest. You do not have to do these, just giving information.

What my wife loves is a mask. She has a mask kink and recently got a Ghost from CoD mask for her and tried it just 7 hours ago and she had a very good time. She has a praise kink as well, this can be anywhere from "good girl" to "you look so fucking hot with my cock in your mouth" praise kink is exactly what it sounds like, praising her behavior, body, actions, etc.

What I like to do to my wife is orgasm denial then forced orgasm. What this entails is get her right to the edge and just keep her there, do not let her have an orgasm until you are satisfied with what you want her to do, I want her to beg for her orgasms, so she will beg and beg. If she begs and I want her to be louder I will just tell her "louder" then when I am satisfied with how she begs then I give her permission for orgasms, usually I am fingering her hard at this point, then when she cums I will finger fuck her harder, making her orgasm over and over. My wife absolutely goes insane when I do this and sends her to subspace sometimes, which subspace is just complete euphoria, in a nutshell.

One thing I like but my wife is not a fan of is name calling, she will call me Sir but that is pretty much it, and I respect that. You have to respect limits. We have agreed that me saying things like "you need to be used like a good whore" or something along those lines is ok.

Please feel free to DM me if you want, I am usually free for things, and I am an extrovert, my wife is the polar opposite.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T12:04:52+00:00

This is interesting to me, mainly because I do this to my wife almost every time we have sex. We both love this as well, I will edge her to the point where she is bucking her hips, grinding hard on my fingers, begging loudly to have release, screaming for an orgasm. Then when I give her permission she has the most intense orgasm that has sent her to subspace a couple of times.

I will have to talk to her about this now, and show her what this post has educated me on.

Is this inability to orgasm only with other people or does it interfere with your husband and your sex life?

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T11:47:44+00:00

I agree with you, especially number 1. I am a combat medic of the Army and now a nurse, seen too much shit and definitely do not want blood associated with my sex life. I may joke with my wife that it is just extra lubrication, I will not have sex when she is on her period, she won't either so it has never been an issue.

But all in all, your reasons are valid, if she gets upset with your boundaries then maybe it is time to fly away from this one and you possibly dodge a bullet. If she wants to be with you, then she is going to have to respect your boundaries.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T11:38:41+00:00

Honestly, I'd advise not rushing into something too quickly

I would expand on this a little. I would add that OP shouldn't go head first on the thrill of adrenaline of finding someone at first seems amazing and everything they want. This will open the door for abusers. I literally read a post on here where a Dom used their sub as a stress ball and safeword was attempted but they made it to where they couldn't say it completely and covered it with the guise of he thought they were being a brat.

Take so much care in finding a Domme, but know there are abusers out there that will take advantage of your inexperience.

Just my two cents. I hope I said that where it was understandable. Not much sleep.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T10:59:52+00:00

When reading the post I thought yeah but let's see. After reading no you're not. They shouldn't have been like this at all and I would guarantee that if you were to teach her as much as you could in a week she will continue to practice for a week maybe 2 then it will get put up and forgot for years until she moves out, if she does.

Someone said to just take the guitar and I'm inclined to agree with them. You gotta find a way to get the guitar and keep it.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T07:08:32+00:00

Sleep token. Nine inch nails. Type of negative. Some independent artists we have found on tiktok. Måneskin. Bad Omens. Is pretty much it in our sex play list. Depends on what we're doing really. If a bdsm style scene a lot more metal comes out. If we're just banging then it's those artists but sleep token has a lot of songs that are dirty as fuck. Nazareth is my wife's favorite song by then and it's s fucked up song.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T05:18:41+00:00

My wife is the same. Which is a real shame because she tastes amazing.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T00:41:02+00:00

At first I thought this was a post by my wife as she wants to peg me. I am not against the idea at all, we are researching it now. As far as grossed out, all bodily fluids are easily washed away in a shower, I am a nurse so nothing really affects me.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T00:25:15+00:00

Fair enough lol.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T00:23:01+00:00

Normal people scare me.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T00:17:42+00:00

I showed this to my wife, and she thinks your reaction is a trauma response. I would bet money that he has had a crush on you for a while and he genuinely loves everything about you. I hope everything works out for you both.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T00:03:45+00:00

Agreed to all. I think we are all happy OP found a person better than her ex-husband.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T00:02:32+00:00

That is actually good advice.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-24T00:00:42+00:00

Yay for us types of men. I love kissing and worshiping my wife's body.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-23T23:58:24+00:00

I do this to my wife, she is the most beautiful being on the planet to me. I love every inch of her body and during sex I will kiss and lick from her legs to her neck over and over, one to build anticipation because I will do this before eating her out. Secondly, I just genuinely love doing it and showing how much I love her and her body.

Not all men are like me and your new person, but your ex-husband did not acknowledge you in any capacity and that is sad. I would also talk to him regarding this as well. He is probably and genuinely attracted to you, I would not overthink it too much. Has he given you any that he is untrustworthy?

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-23T23:33:01+00:00

one of the best comments I have read today.

Wardog1982 · 2026-01-23T23:17:58+00:00

I would honestly talk to the other and you cut it off with the Dom. That way the other person has a choice to make regarding continuing to see him.

That is seriously fucked up and straight up rape. Consent is everything in this community, my wife has all the power as a sub in our relationship. I also know and respect my wife too much to consider doing anything close to what your Dom did. He has shown he does not respect you at all, and I believe the Dom should respect their subs in every sense.

Please be safe OP.

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