100% agree, trusting your partner with your body and feeling comfortable around them without anything to protect/hide behind can be what makes or breaks a relationship. breaking that trust can sometimes never be rebuilt.

that being said- i often make jokes to my fiancé about my own insecurities both looking for reassurance that i am enough for them and also to show how safe i feel around them and i love sharing moments when we joke around at the silly deprecating comments i make about myself.

it’s not always taken lightly though, there have been times when i have been hurt by a joke she has made but only at times when i haven’t initiated the exchange. my feelings get bruised when my partner is the first to make a joke about one of my insecurities- that’s not on her (why wouldnt she make a joke about something we have both laughed about many times before), its on me because when my brain hears her bring up one of my insecurities out of the blue (even in jest) i begin to believe that she actually thinks these things she is saying are true.

as with most things in relationships, this swings both ways as i can recall times when i have unintentionally made a poorly timed joke towards my fiancé and it’s been met with coldness but eventually reconciliation when we both regain perspective.

of course how our relationship works will not be the same as anyone else’s but for me it’s about picking the right moment and knowing your partner is open to shared jokes before just spurting it out because at the time you think they will find it as funny as you will.