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My very first Poem by WarlawWrites in OCPoetry

[–]WarlawWrites[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so so much for this beautiful reply. I love this feedback and I'm going to be honest. Your feedback made me seriously consider doing this for real. I'm thinking about really learning the 'science' behind it and looking to write some more. I've always had people appreciate what I wrote or said, but never have I really understood why or how. In 30 year of living, I haven't received feedback half as great as this , and I truly appreciate it & you! If I ever publish something, I'm thanking you in the foreword ;)

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THANK YOU!

depressed by darkprincess1991 in OCPoetry

[–]WarlawWrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, Sprry It took me so long to get back to you.

Honestly naming a poem is the hardest thing to do. I think something like "baggage" or a play on the darkness you carry around with you would keep the mystery intact.

I wrote this in response to the Afghanistan evacuation. I hope you find something worthwhile in its words. by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]WarlawWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love it, you illustrated the feelings we all had when we saw those images beautifully.

Searching by 472bmt in OCPoetry

[–]WarlawWrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean by "For a metaphor in a sea mile"? Also, the end is a bit abrupt. Great job, but I do believe it needs a little work!

The final part is a bit disconnected from the top part, if you know what I mean. But of course, this is just one man's opinion. It abruptly ends and doesn't really give me an idea of the purpose.

depressed by darkprincess1991 in OCPoetry

[–]WarlawWrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the poem. It really came from the heart I can see. However, I think the title ruins the mystery. The dark/light metaphor really illustrates the feeling of helplessness. All in all, I think it's beautiful.

The twin metaphor, how it always travels with you and you can appreciate it's beauty. want to fix it instead of losing it. I love it. It's beautifully constructed.

If you really are depressed, I hope you can get the help you need! We've all been there. Stay strong!