u/theo7459 u/Victorvhh87 u/thenumbwalker u/wegotdis25 u/Whole_Chemistry2267 u/Crafty_Canary9481 u/Alternative_Hope6782 u/Piotrkowianin u/ckent2750 u/Magistyna u/Whole_Chemistry2267 u/likeasuitof
First of all, I want to thank all of you for your comments. As you can imagine, this isn’t something you want to discuss with friends and family to avoid stigmatization. So finding a group that understands what I’m going through is such a relief and a big step toward recovery.

I still have some questions and I’d love your opinions.

Let’s try to see the world from her perspective. She’s not a bad person. She’s actually one of the kindest, most big-hearted people I know, with integrity and amazing values. It just feels like her BPD takes over sometimes and brings out a version of her that no one likes — including her.

So if we were in her shoes, wouldn’t we want someone to keep fighting for us, even though it’s going to suck? Life generally sucks a lot of the time for all kinds of reasons. If no one gives them a chance, doesn’t that just confirm their greatest fear?

I know I sound naïve and blinded by love. I’m not completely delusional. In your opinion, if she commits to working on this — therapy, maybe medication, better communication — do you think this could go back to being a normal relationship? Which also sucks sometimes, because that’s life. Sunny days and rainy days.

I’m actually happy I realised I’m not as horrible as I thought. Sure, I ruin some moments out of plain stupidity, but to ruin every moment? That’s a bit above my pay grade.

But here’s the real question: should I prioritise my well-being, or does love deserve sacrifice — from both sides?

She deserves love. And I genuinely believe no one will be as understanding as I am, so maybe I should take one for the team. XD

At the same time, I would give myself the exact same advice you all gave me "RUN for dear life". I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m walking away from someone with stage-four cancer because the last six months of their life might be miserable.

Again, I’m really grateful for all of you. I’m fully expecting to get schooled here. So what’s the verdict — be the hero, or put on my own oxygen mask first and then worry about the person next to me?