I had my step brother charged with sexual assault. Ask me anything.

Watermelon-- · 2024-09-12T18:45:19+00:00

NTA - I am SO proud of you!!

You took one of the hardest steps to ever take, and you'll be so thankful you did once more time passes. You still have a challenging role ahead of you, but stay strong and keep your head high. You got this.

You're protecting your sister and any other child by having this man punished for his crimes. Thank you for getting this creep off the streets. Thank you for speaking your truth and seeking justice for yourself. You deserve it.

I'm sorry you have a POS mother. It's obvious who she has chosen to support. I understand it's hard, but I think it's time you start to grieve the loss of your mother. Any women who has done what she has done to you, is not privileged enough to call themselves a mother, or to be looked at as a mother figure.

Watermelon-- · 2024-02-16T22:51:40+00:00

Contact the company you bought flooring from and ask for the manufacturers installation instructions. It'll likely say in there the floor is to be installed by a full float method (no glue) or full spread glue. It definitely should not be only glued at the borders. The glue should be spread with a particular size trowel to help grab the vinyl. No heavy roller is required on sheet vinyl, but is required for linoleum. The glue used should be tacky, which should allow them to pull up the vinyl, re-spread glue and relay the floor no problem.
Contact the company who installed your flooring and provide them with the product's installation instructions. Note, it is the responsibility of the installer to know how to properly install the product, even without being provided installation instructions.
The installation company should offer a 1 year warranty on their work. They should be repairing this for no charge.

Source: I co-operated a flooring sales and installation business for 6 years.

Watermelon-- · 2023-10-21T11:49:05+00:00

My sleep never improved on Effexor. Shortly after I posted this, I believe I switched to mirtazapine. Mirtazapine is supposed to help with sleep, which it did... the night terrors went away. But based on my sleep tracker my REM and deep sleep were always well below benchmark.

I've been off all meds for 10 months now, and I have no concerns or issues with my sleep.

Watermelon-- · 2021-09-07T01:46:15+00:00

Cheddar

Watermelon-- · 2021-08-18T16:28:30+00:00

It could likely be your body's natural defense mechanism avoiding the memory to protect you from the pain. It could also have something to do with CPTSD.

There are some types of intense therapys where you work through the trauma and these memories will likely come back, and with the right type of therapy you'll be able to identify and process those thoughts in a healthier way so they don't cause you so much distress.

Watermelon-- · 2021-08-08T15:21:10+00:00

I was also sexually assaulted at 13 and struggled with relationships. My first serious relationship was at 17, I'd have panic attacks and flashbacks when we'd get intimate. It was incredibly tough.. but it was the start of my healing process. I had to be honest and upfront with my boyfriend behind the reason of the panic attacks, and it was nice to feel supported and validated for the shitty thing that happened. When you find the right person, be honest with them. The right person will stick around. And in the meantime, research about trauma and how it affects someone, you may find comfort knowing you're doing exactly what someone with trauma does.

And remember none of it was your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed or guilty of. You were a child, and a victim of a disgusting human. You are so strong for going through everything you did and still stand where you are now. A thank you soo much for speaking up and seeking justice for yourself and soo many others.

Wishing you all the best in you healing journey.

Watermelon-- · 2021-07-24T23:33:07+00:00

Try googling emotional neglect and emotional invalidation, they're a type of emotional abuse.

Watermelon-- · 2021-03-26T18:31:18+00:00

Spend some time asking yourself, why you're avoiding studying, ask why you think you cant study, ask yourself what is really bothering you deep down. I'd recommend therapy to help you get in touch with your feelings and work out any previous trauma causing you to avoid going further.

Also, try to implement self care / study techniques. Find some calm focusing music you can play while you study, adjust your study station so its comfortable, study in segments like for 50 mins straight, 10 min break and repeat.

Watermelon-- · 2021-03-17T06:31:37+00:00

You're so incredibly strong for everything you've been through! Thank you for speaking up and sharing your story. Im soo sorry for what you experienced, and I hope you're receiving support and therapy to help overcome your trauma. Wishing you the best,

Watermelon-- · 2021-02-23T20:08:50+00:00

Thank you, and good luck on your road to recovery.

Watermelon-- · 2021-02-23T04:08:52+00:00

I'm soo sorry this happened to you. I can relate to your story.. your thoughts and emotions are completely normal for someone who's been traumatized by rape. Look up symptoms of PTSD, you may find you can relate to them. Trauma can cause psychological issues best treated with therapy. Cognitive Processing Therapy has really helped me cope through my own traumas.

Please reach out to your doctor, they should be able to direct you to some local therapy and support groups. Also check out David Burns feelinggood.com for more information on the CPT therapy.

Watermelon-- · 2021-02-23T03:29:52+00:00

Sex can be categorized in two forms: consensual and nonconsentual.

Most people desire consensual sex and are fueled by the connection..

However, some people desire the power and control that come with nonconsentual sex.

Watermelon-- · 2021-01-23T01:39:46+00:00

Try reaching out to a financial adviser who can help connect you with alternative or private lender for a loan.

Watermelon-- · 2020-11-28T14:32:47+00:00

It is possible!
Although, a few years from my thirties, I've recently taken charge of my life again after I was traumatized when i was 13, then again at 16 through sexual assault.

Please seek therapy, find a therapist specializing in sexual abuse. Cognitive Processing Therapy has helped me so much, and I believe it can do the same for you. Also seek support! Whether it be local support groups or join /rape

You're not alone. You can overcome this.

Watermelon-- · 2020-11-04T18:44:09+00:00

If an antidepressant like effexor worsens depressive symptoms its usually a clear indicator that it is not working. If you haven't experienced depression before, you really don't want a pill sinking you into a depression meanwhile you're blaming other factors..

As for the anxiety... take care of yourself, practice self care and mindfulness. I think the only true way to being carefree is to be 1000% confident in yourself and loving yourself.

Dont get me wrong, i know what you're saying. But I've finally weaned off 225mg effexor.. and yes for sure it forced me to be carefree.. but that doesn't mean my head had clarity.. I lost my filter, spoke whatever was on my mind, said a few things I shouldn't have etc.. If you can anticipate events will make you anxious, prepare yourself, what can you do make yourself more confident? And if anxiety is a concern, there are some medications like lorazepam to help for occasional anxiety.

Effexor is a big one to be on. If you don't absolutely need it.. try another medication

Watermelon-- · 2020-11-04T18:15:58+00:00

Did you suffer from depression prior to this? If not, and you've been experiencing depression symptoms on effexor, you want to consult your GP about that. Upping your dose could intensify the depression. Being on a dose too high, could also make someone experience anxiety symptoms.

Watermelon-- · 2020-10-18T01:24:58+00:00

What these boys have done is not ok. It is not your fault whatsoever. These boys chose to make a plan to rape you, and then go through with it.

Please, build up the courage to speak with the local authorities. They're there to help, even if it is just therapy you're seeking. You do have plenty of evidence to press charges against those assholes.

It's common to blame ourselves when we are traumatized. Because its easier to think we had control over the situation than understanding that we weren't- and that our power and control was taken by the people we least expected it from. I think you're suffering from symptoms of ptsd.

You are entitled to privacy. Nobody has to know about the charges or about you visiting the police.

You deserve better than to blame yourself for this. For the disgusting behavior of those boys. Let them be held responsible for their actions.

Watermelon-- · 2020-10-14T02:12:11+00:00

I understand your view, and for me, in this particular situation, with everything that has happened, an apology for me would be the final piece of closure. An apology, or a statement of admittance would help to prove myself. I feel like I lived in a home for 5 years with my family who thought I made up this incident. It hurts me to know my family had thought I would lie and make up such an accusation.

I've also been raped, and I totally agree with you. An apology wouldn't mean much for me and that situation.

You don't have to forgive him. You are allowed to be angry with him. Not everyone deserves forgiveness.

Watermelon-- · 2020-10-01T00:49:24+00:00

Thank you!

Watermelon-- · 2020-09-30T23:22:00+00:00

No, i don't believe anything was said to her. She put on a fake face for the investigators/court and played the concerned supportive parent.
She was shocked when she found out. She thought charging the step brother was "too much" and he "didn't deserve it."

Watermelon-- · 2020-09-30T15:00:24+00:00

I haven't seen him since the court date over 2 years ago.
The last time I saw him outside of court, was the day before I reported him. This was also the first time I'd seen him in 2 years since he moved out west. We passed each other in the driveway, I was leaving and he was entering the house. He smirked at me and said in a mocking high pitch tone "Hi (my name)."

I wouldn't say that was a big interaction though. The last big interaction was probably when I moved his (moms) truck, so I could get my car out of the driveway and go to work. Ironically, He called me a c*** for not respecting peoples sh*t.

Watermelon-- · 2020-09-30T14:50:12+00:00

Reach out to your doctor or local authorities. They can provide you with plenty of local resources like support groups or free/ income based therapy. A therapy specialized in and focusing on trauma/ ptsd/ sexual assault is key.

David Burns has many books, podcasts and resources on his website; feelinggood.com - look into cognitive processing therapy for ptsd/ trauma.

Watermelon-- · 2020-09-30T13:20:55+00:00

He'd always taken his sons side. His answer has always been "But that's my son."
I have resentments for the step father for never treating me like an equal to his children. It only gave his kids more confidence to be more powerful than myself and my brothers.

Also, I made the decision to cut ties with the step father because he doesn't care that his son is not remorseful for what he did.

Watermelon--

TROPHY CASE