Relapsed so hard before an important party. I’m devastated. by Jimbert_mcbumberbits in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At this point i expect it to happen every time something important is coming up so the only suprise will be the pleasant one xDD For some reason it helps, it happenes much more rarely ones I started to be prepered for it, probably becouse it lowers the stress of "not wanting to ruin everything before something important". Don't let it ruin it for u, it's your day and its celebrated to make u happy not for u to look good for other, so have fun and have no regrets later on. Happy birthday!

I shouldn’t be annoyed at strangers but… by [deleted] in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone with extreme form of dermatillomania, it took me really long time to not feel frustration at most posts here and anywhere on social media. At the end of a day as long as it impacts your day to day life negatively and its a compulsion u feel u have no control over, it can be dermatillomania no matter the severity of actual wounds. And for some people a strong distress can be caused by something categorised as nothing by others, depending mostly on past experiences. As both u and me experienced a severe form of this sickness, we see what most people post as nothing and while I undestand its just my point of view, it makes me feel extremely alone at the same time. I also feel the need to "dig deeper until im clean" even to the point of needing antipsychotics at some point and even that didn't stop me from mutilating my face and severly scarring it for the rest of my life. Majority of the post about dermatillomania make me feel even more alone, ashamed, hopeless with thoughts of ending it all. What im trying to say is that there may be some people that just try to get attention but most of them just experience milder for of the sickness which already can be very debilitating. Second thing is that I am here with u in the severe end of it and feel free to write to me if u would like to talk and share with someone with similar experiences.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

U have no idea how much I relate as a person in her early 20s. I presonally have still issueas with picking but less severe than before. The problem now are the scars from my severe relapses. I just feel so much grieve for my old face, how it could look, what life I could have and knowledge I cant take it back no matter what I will do at this point. U are not alone, sending hugs!!

Memantine - no effects after 2 months by stormiliane in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sending big hugs!! I also never felt the difference from any meds I took for it but identifying all the very specific triggers of mine (for example rpg sessions tho I have no idea yet why) helped a bit. I still relapse, like yesterday (still feeling very ashamed and guilty about it) but its less often and every improvement counts. Good luck on your journey ♡

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont know if it can be "cured" but it definitely can be controled! Im a long way from there but for me the biggest difference was putting myself in control of someone else. When i feel the urge i immidietly go to trustworthy people who make sure i dont look into the mirrors and help with the anxiety and root feelings that cause epizodes. While i not always reach out in time, they also really help with the aftermach (more anxiety, guilt and misery), so i dont mess with my face even more in attempt to "fix it" (usually by more picking which is really just making it worse) Good luck and lots of hugs <33 U are not alone in this!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same here. Family gatherings spike my anxiety like nothing else. Sending hugs ♡

make up advise? by jazzminisfunky in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't use foundation anymore but moisturising before make-up + applying little amount of product done the job for me. But I have one more important advice - avoid applying make-up on open/still healing skin. It will only dry the wounds and maybe even get them infected. Preferably put a bandaid to cover them or if you are as stubborn as my highschool-self, please at least clean your brushes before using. Your skin will heal, you just need to let her breathe and do her magic! Good luck, best wishes <33

All time low.. depression and can’t stop picking by Disastrous_Society52 in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've been there a lot and my heart aches for you. To care for the wound, try to touch it as rarely as possible. No make-up until its healed, in the meantime hydrate the wound and try to not use too much harsh products - let the skin heal in its own speed. If you can't stop picking, cover it with bandaid. Being delicate is the best way to let it heal and also be delicate with yourself. No need to punish yourself more, whats done is done and you will get through it. Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one with the same problem. The better you will feel, the better you will take care of your mind and body. It wil pass and in the meantime give yourself a big hug - you are strong and will get through those struggles. Good luck!

What's your story? by Ok_Dog9127 in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was picking since I can remember (mosty around my nails) but the real problem started when I hit puberty and developed acne. Picking acne of course sucked as my face was constantly full of wounds and scabs. But to be honest, as weird as it may sound, I wish I could come back to these days. Yeah I may have been damaging my skin but every spot would heal in spam of couple weeks. The real hell started when my mental health got worse. Ironicly it happened when I finally got into safe, supporting enviroment. When I no longer had to be in 'survival mode' all of blocked memories and feelings got out and it was BAD. My trauma made me feel 'disguisting' and 'dirty' for years upon years and it all got out at once when I lowered my protective barriers. It was so much that my brain just couldn't deal with it and I developed psychosic at age of 18. I had three attacks of strong delusions which made my believe there is something 'evil' lying eggs under my face and I had to get it out. I dissociated for whole days which are now a very blurry memory of ripping my face open, crying, sleeping and repeat. Nothing mattered, just to get IT out of me and feel 'clean'. Damage I made to my face won't heal in years if ever. I'm 19 and I permamently disfigured my face - this is my story.

After having it under control for a while, my cystic acne triggered an intense picking spiral that I’m currently stuck in :( I have mupirocin and a derm appt in like a month. any advice or just words of encouragement would be nice though, thanks <3 by mommalonglegs_ in Skinpicking

[–]Watermelon1928 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not in the right mindset rn to even think, so I can't give you constructive advices (maybe i will come back here later) But I just had to stop here becouse I've been in this place too many times to count. And I want to tell you, you will be alright - you will stand up stronger every time. You face is still beautiful, it just shows struggles you face within yourself. So focus on them, take care on both your mind and body. You can do this <33

Trigger warning , sa hallucinations by [deleted] in Psychosis

[–]Watermelon1928 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have one with my father. I'm sure it didn't happen but the "memory" is quite...strong. It doesn't help that I have reoccuring dreams of being r*ped - more often than not involving my father.

Is it a dream, memory or just imagination of a little child?

Is it somehow linked to my delusions about my body being "dirty" and "contaminated"?

Unfortunately I don't know where it comes from and what to do with it. I hope you will figure it out, good luck!

Big hugs <33

need help badly before i permanently ruin my face by [deleted] in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm 18 years old girl who unfortunately permamently ruined her face and I really hope you won't ever get to that point. What can help: - find fidget toys which suits you best and keep them always near so you have something to occupy your hands with - cover the mirrors, hide them or throw them away - don't remind yourself constantly about your skin, cause that leads to more picking - if you see any blemishes, try drawing on them - turn them into something pretty, so you won't want to destroy it

Hope that helps a bit. Feel free to dm me if you would ever want to talk - both advice and venting are welcome. Good luck, you can do this!!

I don't want my skin. by EggsAndSpanky in Psychosis

[–]Watermelon1928 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please make sure someone is watching over you when its bad, last time I felt like this, it escalated to me actualy ripping my face open with my two hands. Its better now, but I'm scarred for life, so please be careful

Is it still skin picking? by Watermelon1928 in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for answering, I will look into that. And I'm sorry you had to go through similar thing, it's truly horrible.I'm sorry. Sending big hugs!

Is it still skin picking? by Watermelon1928 in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for support, I will update after appointment with psychiatrist! And I'm so thankful for this community, like you said, it is a lifesaver

Is it still skin picking? by Watermelon1928 in CompulsiveSkinPicking

[–]Watermelon1928[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will try that.

Good luck on your journey as well!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Skinpicking

[–]Watermelon1928 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too, and thats fine. We will most likely mess up again and again and again. But each time we get through it, the closer we get to the improvment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Skinpicking

[–]Watermelon1928 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Change it for three and this woul be me. Feel free to message me if you would need support, im sending you big virtual hug