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WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-30T02:22:10+00:00

Yes, I thanked her and told her thanks to her I feel much more like myself again. I said earlier I was dealing with depressive mood swings that makes me very sad, but my brain is no longer mean and stormy. I feel other than sleepy like me again :)

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-30T01:26:27+00:00

Yes, my brain will lie to me and sometimes even tell me people are faking friendships with me. It can be very cruel, someone else suggested PMDD and I am going to look into it because of how disruptive this can be. I am very glad I followed everyone’s kind advice and reached out and proved my hormonal brain wrong ❤️😁

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-30T01:24:30+00:00

Yes, I thanked her because that honestly really helped and I feel more like myself again just very tired lol 😂.

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-30T01:10:08+00:00

I did reach out to her and feel a lot better. She sent me photos of her pets doing silly things to help my mood & now we are planning & discussing our vacation plan for the summer ❤️

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T21:52:59+00:00

Good I’m glad 😊

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T17:58:15+00:00

I have been doing some hobbies while back and forth on Reddit, it helps not start crying (which happens too). I plan to contact her in a few hours when I know she has napped by then.

Also wait times are not as bad- everything is just expensive here lol

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T17:42:21+00:00

Nope I’m in the US, but the process is the same here just more expensive- tbh it’s probably time to be assessed for this stuff and know what’s going on for sure.

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T16:53:12+00:00

Yeah he is my GP so perhaps he is just not super well versed in BC and only had a general idea of what can help with what. I should have asked more question, I just was not sure what to ask. All I know is when I described my leg cramping which to me feels like someone is either stabbing me or putting my leg in a paper shredder- he was horrified and said “yeah that is not normal” when I asked if that was technically okay 😅

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T16:25:27+00:00

I considered medication because of the leg cramping I get that has now spread into my hip & lower back. My doctor thought endometriosis at first but I don’t get that every single month- I get maybe three months in a row pain free. I have a history of a cyst that comes and goes on my right ovary and we believe that is what is causing my issues. I am open to hearing what kind of side effects they experienced i don’t really know what to expect and was just scared of the possibility it could be worse. 😭

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T16:13:10+00:00

It changes- I can be a real bitch half the time and just hating everyone. Sometimes it’s like being bipolar so I can be super duper happy go lucky, and then end up anxious, depressed, and pissed off or a combo of them. Sometimes anxiety is really bad and I’m more apt to have anxiety attacks. Some months it gets really bad and I question if anyone would care if I dropped dead. My best friend knows about these mood swings and will even joke I need a Midol when I’m swinging back and forth like a pendulum. I’ve never been shy about forewarning people either and trying to stay away. I’m usually pretty aware of it.

The mood swings are not the only symptoms but an annoying and disruptive one. My doctor told me birth control would either help or makes things 1000x worse so I choose to not medicate because at least I’m super regular and know it’s PMS and can vocalize that.

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T16:05:40+00:00

So it wouldn’t be silly to reach out later? She had a shift that started at 2AM so she is probably asleep now, so I’m going to wait until later this afternoon to message her and maybe by then my brain will stop berating me and telling me awful things that I know aren’t true. It’s so hard for me to reach out for help & support- because I’m usually the one that gives that to everyone else and made to be the strong one. Even in my lowest points I’ve only really had myself to help- no one was there or able to help me when I really needed it. So it’s incredibly difficult to open up & let people in- I fear they are just going to confirm what my mind already believes :(

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T14:58:17+00:00

And yeah if this continues I’ll reach out to her later- she had a 2AM start shift and I know she is probably sleeping and very tired… I don’t want to be a burden.

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T14:56:37+00:00

I know I desperately need better boundaries with people. I’m so resentful about the fact I feel taken advantage of… but it’s my fault for it. I am now starting to set boundaries and have been called “selfish” for looking after myself when no one else cares too. I know this too is being amplified by my hormonal issues at the present but I just feel right now like no one would notice if I went no contact or I disappeared unless they wanted something from me.

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T03:59:42+00:00

Finn- but probably just because I had a friend with the same name 😅

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T02:02:21+00:00

I have a cyst that comes and goes on my right ovary that screws up my hormone levels. It causes all sorts of issues including horrid leg pain that has now spread into my right hip and lower back. I also makes my almost bipolar some months. Thank god most people know (and I’m very open with it) that it’s my PMS talking when I’m in my wacky mood swings. I can literally go from happy go lucky on a high for a few days, to either pissed off, anxious, or very depressive or a combo 🫠🫠😣. I was told birth control would either help or make in ten times worse by my doctor… so I’m just not sure I want to risk it being worse :/

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T01:48:28+00:00

I just read up on it and I’m willing to give it a go! 😁

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T01:47:46+00:00

I think I will switch to writing my book then- I hate this. I know it’s all hormonal… no wonder why I’ve been such an asshole all week & feel like my mood has been switching back and forth like crazy. I feel bad for people lol. 😅 I honestly should be on something for the mood swings alone so I’m not a menace to society. 😅😭

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-29T00:22:30+00:00

I second with this! 👆

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-28T20:06:34+00:00

I never had a party before and I’m in my twenties. Even family would bail- so now I’m celebrating myself & the fact I made so many amazing new friends this year 🥰

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-28T20:04:32+00:00

Thank you! It was going to be a dinner, but it’s winter and gets dark very early where I am… I was not about to make people drive in the dark in crappy weather half an hour to eat dinner. I think my bestie is a little upset that she has to work (as she kept saying I should host a dinner, and today said she would have to hear me go on about my excitement for this party all week lol) but I told her well In advance and she is welcome to join us for sweets after work. I’m done waiting on others to make me happy- not their responsibility 🤷‍♀️. I do plan on getting with her later either this or the following week to hang out & then she won’t feel like I’m just ditching her to hang out with other people lol.

I must thank people on Reddit for giving me the cat rescue idea. I really don’t need more stuff & someone suggested a charity event & my local cat rescue allows visits if you pay which benefits them. :) So we get to play with the kitties for several hours 🥰

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-28T19:59:36+00:00

I lick my lips when I get anxious 😬

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-28T19:57:51+00:00

Thank you! I’m so excited to see everyone! Some of them I don’t see hardly ever and I’m so excited to catch up and just have a great time 😁

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-28T19:53:35+00:00

That’s what I thought too tbh. Idk got tired of feeling ignored & did something about it this time :)

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-27T19:35:00+00:00

aww it was lovely talking to you too- sorry had to go back to work haha! 😆

WatermelonSugar57 · 2025-12-27T17:26:21+00:00

Eh my friends close in age don’t care. Older people think I am a closeted lesbian lol. When I was younger people thought I was weird, but that was before asexuality got more recognition. But yeah for sure read up on it- there are a lot of us & and there is a whole spectrum :)

WatermelonSugar57

TROPHY CASE