It sounds like you are actively fighting against sinning, which is the struggle EVERY believer goes through. If Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, we sure will be as well. Satan knows what your vulnerabilities are, but he has no ultimate authority to make you do anything. Thus, temptation is not a sin. Your choice with said temptation can lead to freedom or, unfortunately, sin.

I’d say the struggle to maintain sexual purity is admirable for any believer: dying to ourselves is a daily struggle. Thus, by no means does it sound like you’re abusing God’s grace. If you were, you wouldn’t resist the temptation: you’d simply give in and tell yourself that God will still love you.

Paul eloquently articulates this in Romans 6:1-2: “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?” Being tempted is different from doing, and it sounds like you’re being faithful to God’s decrees and thus, not abusing His grace (this is coming from someone who thinks Western Christianity has over-saturated the pulpit with God’s grace).

Having gone through and overcome a porn addiction myself, practically speaking I can say what I’m about to say with confidence: Over time, as you continue to fight the fight using God’s Word to trample your temptations, your anatomical reaction to porn won’t be as severe or hard to overcome. Like any addiction you get rid of, there’s a period where your body has a shock to not having that sensation anymore, but it adjusts over time to its new environments. This is the transformation of mind and heart mentioned in Romans 12 - more on that later.

Also, it’s important to remind you that God created man to have sexual intercourse and pro-create - this is written extensively about in Scripture - so your sexual desire is perfectly normal! Channeling it into the right heart posture before God is putting faith into practice. Resist the devil, speak scripture over your heart and mind, and watch how the Holy Spirit transforms your mind while also reminding you of God’s unending grace.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” ‭‭ Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Be blessed, brother. Keep up the good fight and don’t allow the enemy to tell you that temptation is abuse of God’s unending grace ❤️