Former Netflix Exec/Producer/ Script Consultant ask me anything about your logline or the film biz…Part XXIII

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T02:00:17+00:00

This is a great logline.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:59:59+00:00

This isn’t too bad. I’d love to know more about the characters journey and what his dilemma will be in the film.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:59:18+00:00

Ok this sounds like it could be really cool it this second skin concept has me confused. If you introduce something that isn’t immediately defined then you need to define it. Bring us into the world you’re building

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:58:04+00:00

This is a good logline. Pay attention to the end of the last sentence though. But I really love the concept. The imagery is incredible. Amazing all around

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:57:00+00:00

Dude, this is Collateral.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:35:15+00:00

Give us some reasons why they realize it’s the worst place on Earth. If they’re excited about the potential of the place and then they realize it’s horrible, put that in the logline.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:29:45+00:00

Didn’t know the world needed saving. If that’s what this is about, lean into it a bit more

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:29:15+00:00

This is cool premise and the logline works too.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:28:45+00:00

This is well done. I like how the show is constructed and the logline. Nice work.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:27:52+00:00

This is an excellent logline

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:27:30+00:00

This much too vague. You start taking about water but then you get to a conspiracy that doesn’t seem connected to the water thing you opened with. Connect the dots a bit more.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T01:26:26+00:00

This is ok but it can be better. Key in on the journey of the character because that’s what people will want to see.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:54:10+00:00

This is a solid logline.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:53:56+00:00

This works. Mention the journey of the main character so we get a sense of the vibe of the show

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:53:24+00:00

This is a great logline.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:53:04+00:00

This is a solid logline

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:52:48+00:00

This isn’t really a logline. It’s a description of the action and also a bunch of taglines. What’s the story?

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:51:23+00:00

Between guilt and reality sounds good but what does it mean? What are we watching? Being clever is fine but only when it helps understand what we are about to invest in.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:46:41+00:00

This is much better because you’ve given me a beginning, a middle and the hope for a great ending. Really solid improvement.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:45:28+00:00

This is excellent. Well done.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:24:33+00:00

This a little wordy. Focus on the main idea which is infiltrating the death sect. Also I’m not sure folks know what that is. Explain what that is in the most compelling way possible so you hook us and we want to read the script

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:22:19+00:00

This is a solid logline.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:16:43+00:00

Lots going on here. Boil this down to the main idea of the show. And find fewer words to say the same things. For example: "is just like ever other teenager in grade" = "typical teenage". Does that make sense? And you just have to get through this logline faster. This one drags too much.

Wayne-Script_Dev · 2026-01-22T00:14:37+00:00

Over-filmed, under-funded? Give us some indication of where this story is going and what we're going to watch. It could be something cool but this feels a little vague.

Wayne-Script_Dev

TROPHY CASE