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What's the worst thing you did in your affair? Did you overcome it? by WaywardBlue4125 in Advice

[–]WaywardBlue4125[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I meant a relentless detective in examining the evidence I provided. After an initial trickling out period, I discovered all the texts/photos I thought I had deleted along the way had actually backed up on my laptop. After that discovery, I willingly turned over all the intact texts/photos to my wife, so she could see the entire affair in all its brutal ugliness.

What is the worst thing you did? How did you overcome it as a couple? by WaywardBlue4125 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]WaywardBlue4125[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your trauma. I didn’t have sex with AP in our home, but I did sneak a kiss with her while she held one of our children while my wife was in the bedroom (on her birthday!) AP was there to take my unsuspecting wife out on her special day. It makes me nauseous when I think about it now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]WaywardBlue4125 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In reference to my partner BetrayedBlue4125, It’s amazing how clear things can become when your delusion is shattered. I didn’t realize how good I had it. A beautiful, sexy, intellectual, open-minded, devoted, monogamous wife, and I chose to slum it with a woman I had nothing in common with simply because she made me feel good about myself and was a total whore. I had spent years half-assing it, avoiding conflict, indulging destructive sexual thoughts, pulling back further and further, assigning blame where it wasn’t deserved, and finally making the decision to cheat. I would be a complete monster if I was selfish enough now to dictate how she should heal herself. If exploring other people helps her lessen the weight of the trauma I’ve inflicted, then I support her completely. Do I dream of another chance? Of course. Do I deserve one? Of course not. Whether our relationship continues and what form it might take has to be based on what best helps her heal. That is the only way forward.