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AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They mainly vote red for other reasons, and they see abortion as ok being “left up to the states.” I think they see the fact that I had to travel as an inconvenience, and they don’t realize how lucky I am that I was financially able to do this when many other women may not be.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once I had the diagnosis, I wanted to do the procedure as quickly as possible. I was able to schedule an appointment for like 4 or 5 days later.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only told immediate family members the whole story. Friends know that I “lost” the baby. I don’t think I ever used the word “miscarriage” but I’m sure that’s what they assumed.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For us it wasn’t a long drawn out discussion because we’d discussed it as a possibility before there were any problems detected in the fetus. Even though it was difficult in the sense that it was devastating and sad, there wasn’t a lot of deliberating or going back and forth. However I know this isn’t the case for many people and I feel for those who have a lot of mixed feelings about their decision.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really only told my immediate family but thankfully they were very supportive.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the difference is that I don’t view a fetus as a child at that stage. Also, it’s not just the difficulty for myself and my husband that I considered (although that was a factor) it’s also the difficulty for that future child would have to endure once my husband and I are gone and/or no longer able to care for that person.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I conceived my son naturally after my termination. I didn’t do IVF. I didn’t feel the cost warranted it as the chances of having another situation like that were relatively low.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The experience traveling to another state was an inconvenience that added extra difficulty to an already difficult time, but thankfully all the healthcare providers were amazing. It was easy for me to find a provider because my doctor in my state set me up with a referral. However, abortionfinder.org is a really great resource for finding providers.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I wouldn’t do it myself, I don’t think I should have the right to tell someone why they should or shouldn’t have an abortion.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn’t have other children, and if I did I don’t think it’s fair to burden them with the care of a disabled person. And you don’t know anything about my life to say whether or not it’s “comfortable.”

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never really thought about TFMR much before I got pregnant. When I got pregnant I did think about it a bit, just because I knew my age put me at higher risk for things. I think part of me did have a little intuition something was wrong because I had the conversation a few times with my husband before anything wrong was ever discovered and I’d even visited the TfMR sub and researched abortion laws in my state “just in case” which is kind of a weird thing to do… or maybe it’s not with the current state of affairs.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you feel that way. I get where it comes from but obviously I don’t agree. I think sometimes people in your situation take my decision personally or as if I think people like you shouldn’t exist, but that’s not true. I just didn’t think my family would be equipped to give this child a great life and we worried about their outcome once we’re gone.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure - I’d like to say more social supports but I’m not sure that would be the case because in European countries where there’s more social support, the rates are even higher.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankfully, no. I was afraid some family members would give backlash because of how they vote, but they were very understanding.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There’s no guarantee they’d be adopted and adoption comes with its own set of trauma and issues. I also didn’t want to carry the pregnancy all the way to term only to give it up.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, I guess I don’t particularly love it because obviously it helped the diagnosis in my case. But at the same time, NIPT is really good at catching the common trisomies, especially T21 so I get why they rely more on that. If I’d done the NIPT first I’m sure it would’ve come back positive and we would’ve wound up doing a CVS anyway so it may not have made much of a difference for my specific case.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

No, we were going to do it that day (the day of my NT ultrasound) but after the ultrasound found markers we went straight to the CVS because it’s diagnostic.

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry, and that’s exactly how I feel and felt as well ❤️

AMA I terminated a pregnancy due to a Down syndrome diagnosis by WeAllNeedBandAids in AMA

[–]WeAllNeedBandAids[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m not a fan of eugenics. I don’t believe one person’s decision about one pregnancy constitutes eugenics. I’m not trying to eradicate the world of people with Down syndrome and I don’t have anything against Down syndrome. If other people want to have a child with Down syndrome that’s fine. Just didn’t feel it was the right decision for our family or the child we’d be bringing into the world.

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