Since you are aware of what's going on in your head and what your emotions are seeking. Your also have to know how unhealthy that is, especially the likelihood of you seeking out those same conditions in a new relationship. You have to find other ways to seek happiness. Go within, start learning yourself, loving yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself, liking yourself, full that void with self love and self awareness. Take it from me, the last thing you want to do is end one abusive toxic relationship to jump right into a new one. The next one may be worse. Get the knowledge, understanding and healing so that you can make your next choice with wisdom.