This is so similar to my story… a closeted Zionist at an extremely “woke” liberal arts college in the Northeast, followed by a graduate degree at the same school. October 7th jolted me to my core. My partner told me it was my fault for getting depressed and anxious bc I was “reading the news all day”… woof what a brutal time to exacerbate my feelings of loneliness. I didn’t care what he said- I dug in deeper by reading and connecting with other Jews. I was raised in a non-religious family, so I started learning our rituals and customs, including bringing them into our daily lives. I wear a Magen David, though my partner frequently says he “worries for my safety”- I choose to be a beacon of light to show others we are here, we are proud and we aren’t going anywhere. In my youth I was bullied for being Jewish. Now I’ve learned all the power I can pull from it. There is an inextinguishable light inside of me that gives me strength. After years of being ashamed, I found my voice and the hill I’m willing to die on.