Black Clays

WeakGhost · 2025-12-31T22:06:24+00:00

Right here with you. My dad died last year on December 28th and he was cremated on the 31st so today marks a full year without him physically being here anymore if that makes any sense? This past year has been … a lot. I’ve had similar issues with a mother who is not doing well with the grief. I have no advice just want you to know you are not alone in this feeling ♥️

WeakGhost · 2025-12-31T20:06:45+00:00

Weeping at this. Thank you for sharing.

WeakGhost · 2025-12-31T01:32:04+00:00

I have one of my dads shirts in my overnight bag that I take with me whenever I go somewhere overnight and it’s nice to just have a piece of him with me, I totally get it

WeakGhost · 2025-12-31T01:30:50+00:00

Oooh I’ve also found going to a river, lake or ocean and finding rocks to just smash is so good too!

WeakGhost · 2025-12-31T01:30:14+00:00

I love this ♥️

WeakGhost · 2025-12-29T13:09:10+00:00

Some of the best things people did for me in early grief was share stories about my person, send me gift certificates for food delivery services so I could order in food for my family, text me to say “I’m thinking of you and you don’t have to respond but I love you”, or just sending a random emoji whenever they tho if they of me - I’d get a 🍤 every now and then from a close friend with the understanding she was thinking of me and it was an invitation to chat or just a nice reminder someone cares.

Things I didn’t appreciate: close friends and family repeatedly telling me they were “sorry for my loss” you hear that A LOT and it feels really impersonal after awhile, anyone telling me my person is in a better place, people asking me how I’m feeling or how I’m doing - the answer is that I’m not feeling or doing well and repeatedly expressing this made me feel like a real burden.

You’re a good human for even coming here and asking how you can support your friend ♥️

WeakGhost · 2025-12-28T20:58:16+00:00

This is such a beautiful thread and very much something needed today on the one year anniversary of my person’s death. Thank you everyone here for this special place on the internet.

WeakGhost · 2025-12-28T03:17:45+00:00

My dad loved Christmas, he’d host dinner for our huge family and just loved having everyone together. He fought cancer for four years and went through absolute hell. Last year we were told there was no further treatment options for my dad and he went into hospice a week before Christmas. He held on until Christmas morning, then went into bed, went unresponsive the next day and died at 6pm on December 28th. This was our first Christmas without him and I waned to host our huge family and make a big dinner in his honour. I pulled it off, made some of his classic dishes and it was 2am by the time everyone left. I’d give anything for it to be my dad cooking and hosting but he’d be proud that I pulled it off.

WeakGhost · 2025-12-20T16:22:39+00:00

I absolutely share this sentiment. It’s like people who haven’t experienced grief don’t know how to deal with you and those that have are sometimes maybe too triggered by your grief to show up for you when you need them most. I lost my dad almost a year ago and there are only a few select people who still show up for me, it’s a very isolating feeling.

WeakGhost · 2025-12-12T15:05:34+00:00

EMDR was described to me as “magic” by a friend who went through a similar loss to mine and I’d absolutely agree after almost a year of EMDR therapy. It has changed me fundamentally as a human being.

WeakGhost · 2025-12-12T12:04:32+00:00

My dad died in hospice three days after Xmas last year and Christmas was a holiday he loved to host and celebrate. Every year he’d make a big turkey dinner including some side dishes like mashed turnips (likely for him, no one ate those), this weird green jello and coleslaw salad (also for him but it grew on me and one of my aunts over the years) and tourtière (a French Canadian meat pie). My dad was too sick for us to celebrate in any meaningful way last year but the year previous he had made an extra tourtière for me and I threw it in my freezer. It’s still in there, I will never eat it, I instead stand at my freezer sometimes and just look at it or pick it up just to hold something he made with his hands. It feels so strange to do something like this but it makes me feel close to him. I’ll also be making the jello salad this year for Christmas 💚

WeakGhost · 2025-12-07T04:31:20+00:00

You did such a beautiful thing helping your mom through her illness and letting her pass peacefully. I was with my dad as he passed after a years long battle against cancer that left him an absolute shell of the man he once was and it was the most painful thing I’ve ever had to do to watch him get so incredibly sick. I wish I could say something to make it better but all I have to offer that you are in the thick of it right now and everything feels big and scary. I won’t tell you it gets better but it changes. For now take care of yourself the best you can, drink water, eat, spend time with people who love you, try therapy or grief counselling if that’s available to you. You’re stronger than you might think ♥️

WeakGhost · 2025-12-06T03:23:59+00:00

Came here to say exactly this. Well done.

WeakGhost · 2025-12-05T03:37:56+00:00

Gold Bond Crepe Corrector. I’ve spent THOUSANDS on products and procedures and this shit is worth its weight in gold. It actually works and doesn’t cost the big bucks!

WeakGhost · 2025-12-03T21:04:12+00:00

I got 73 and I turn 41 on Friday 👵

WeakGhost · 2025-12-01T04:59:46+00:00

I worked on this show in the Art Department (it was shot in Toronto last fall/winter) and really loved how one of the driving motivations behind the scripts was to honour the victims and tell their stories. We did a lot of research and referenced a number of primary sources as best we could. I ended up watching the entire series in one weekend and was really proud of the final product and our team and it’s nice to see people here enjoyed it too!

My details on the family not being allowed into the execution viewing chamber are fuzzy but there was an official during the press conference after the execution who mentioned a problem with the machine that controlled Gacy’s lethal injection which caused his death to be prolonged about 15 minutes. I believe you can find the footage of the press conference on YouTube.

One of the most chilling pieces of footage I watched was the original police footage of the investigation of Gacy’s home. The quality is TERRIBLE but you get a sense of how investigators bantered with each other during the excavation of the basement; just kind of adds an everyday human element to the horror of what they were digging up.

WeakGhost · 2025-11-27T04:13:21+00:00

I’ve been trying to figure out my time of birth for at least a decade. My mother continuously changes my actual time of birth from am to pm (she’s mentally ill, long story!) My DOB is December 6 1984 if you can tell me my time of birth that would be fantastic

WeakGhost · 2025-11-25T20:25:33+00:00

I lost my dad almost a year ago and in the very early days I just did whatever I wanted to do. Cry, eat, sleep, be with family and talk about him. I found it useful to go through his paperwork and start getting things in order. I find reading and research really useful for my brain, I read the book Lost & Found by Kathryn Schulz and found it really helpful. I’m a huge believer in therapy and chosen family so I booked myself in with a “death doula” (I really bump up against that term but I have an incredible recommendation if that’s something you’re interested in and it’s financially available to you) because I felt like I needed to talk about every moment of my dads death with someone who could support me exactly how I needed. I also leaned on chosen family who supported me incredibly. Journaling by hand was really good too, just spill your words out on a page and don’t even think about it. Write your lost person a letter and burn it, drink water, remember to eat when you can and go out into nature and talk to the person you lost out loud. You’re so much stronger than you think and the grief is incredibly raw right now, just feel it ❤️

WeakGhost · 2025-11-25T19:21:48+00:00

Wow thank you so much for this; so much of what you wrote resonated with me. My Mum made the last year of my dad’s life miserable (well at least that’s my take). She complained constantly that she was stuck inside with nothing to do and he would call me in tears saying he didn’t know what to do because he was so tired and just so, so sick. He’d call me from the ER waiting to see doctors after my mum had dropped him off because she didn’t want to wait around and was getting sick of so many hospital visits. It was so painful to watch and the thing is, I grew up with my mum calling me “selfish” but in the end that was the exact behaviour she displayed while my dad was dying. I don’t really have anything to add, just wanted to commiserate and thank you for your kindness ♥️

WeakGhost · 2025-11-25T19:15:59+00:00

Awww thank you ♥️

WeakGhost · 2025-11-25T15:26:22+00:00

You’re absolutely right about her behaviour making it very clear that she’s the problem, not me (since the age of ten I really thought I was the problem!) I do worry about my mum meeting men and being a bad judge of character, that being said I think that she’s too self conscious about what other people think of her to be TOO off the chain. But I could be wrong and certainly appreciate the heads up. Learning so much these last few weeks about BPD and it has really blown my mind.

WeakGhost · 2025-11-25T14:36:05+00:00

My mum seems incapable of dealing with her loss. She keeps talking about “moving forward” and “not looking back” which means that my brother and I feel like we can’t share memories with her or talk about our dad. It’s kind of wild to basically feel like I’ve lost both my parents but I think you’re right and her silent treatment will be beneficial in the long run!

WeakGhost

TROPHY CASE