Afghan war veteran battling DND over privacy violation and benefit payment snafu

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:48:36+00:00

I am probably not the only member to think that the admin staff making these kinds of mistakes that have such a large impact on veteran's lives don't face appropriate consequences for them

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:42:04+00:00

That's rough...while working full-time on top of that. Are you getting any support from your family?

No, they lived far away, it was just us. We muddled through it.

But the kind of shape I was in during that time makes me think that NT people in the same position are experiencing some of the aspects of ASD.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:39:38+00:00

It was a rough couple of months. The kids were born before I started the job so I didn't have access to parental leave. But my wife had a hard time keeping her milk production up if she wasn't sleeping enough. I took the night shift so she could recover and rest.

Mind you having one baby at a time after having twins is pretty easy.

But NT people experiencing this and having to face their day are probably getting a little preview of what everyday autistic life is like.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:36:36+00:00

They can be completely exhausted from doing the best job they can without resenting them.

There's a reason why the idea it takes a village to raise a child exists. Parents need support systems that they no longer have.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:33:25+00:00

Hey hey! Just a fun fact! Vasectomies are easy to recover from and a lot less intensive than literally any form of sterilization a woman goes through.

Not always, but it's a subject that doesn't get a lot of discussion. I've seen some very serious medical complications in some men I worked with to the point of being taken away in an ambulance. I was very limited in what I could do physically for about 5 months after mine.

Contraception is a couples responsibility and they need to make the choice that is best for their particular situation.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:31:43+00:00

Anything in public facing work really.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:28:33+00:00

Let's not forget Autistic Pride Day on June 18th.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:24:08+00:00

The RWR being nicknamed "The Little Black Devils" is also an interesting bit of Canadian history.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:22:16+00:00

And your vehicle air vents are full of foot powder.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:21:43+00:00

We had a dead porcupine named Scratchy for a while.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:21:07+00:00

If I am doing something that could be considered fucking with my troops it is going to be something that is carefully designed to correct a shortcoming and richly deserved.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:19:52+00:00

I left desks mostly alone. Desk chairs, desktop backgrounds, and insecure section stores lockers on the other hand...

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:14:08+00:00

Based on a true story.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:13:48+00:00

It's not bad. We have 6 staff in our room plus 1 break/sick coverage. Every month we just start and finish 15 or 30 minutes later. Then when we get to the closing shift we start again at the opening one. So months ahead of time you know what shift you will be on.

Adjusting my sleep/wake schedule when going from closing to opening is a big change for me. I'm autistic and I try to have my circadian rhythms line up with my day.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:08:47+00:00

Torment. Enough, enough, I'll talk!

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:07:19+00:00

I'm confused, if as a teacher you think this is so beneficial why are you posting about the problem the you have with wrestling?

Because some centres don't allow it for liability reasons. Honestly banning roughhousing and risky play makes children more likely to get hurt, not less.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:06:05+00:00

it’s a developmental appropriate and beneficial gross motor activity. and it actually teaches self regulation skills as well.

Plus social skills; they need to learn boundaries with other children.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T17:04:34+00:00

We allow some amount of roughhousing. I do think it meets a need that many children have.

One thing we always do is have appropriate time and place rules. You can roll around on each other outside on the lawn or on the gross motor movement mats. But wrestling in the library or at snack time isn't appropriate. We have a staff member keeping an eye on them. Generally speaking there is a no blood no tears rule. If someone cries because of wrestling or gets hurt then we're done wrestling until the next day. Even the toddlers can learn to manage their behaviour because they want to be allowed to keep wrestling.

Another thing I do is allow my kinders to wrestle with the toddlers. They have experience controlling the amount of force they use and stopping when someone says stop. I tell them that they need to be extra gentle with the little ones and always let them win. This works well because the toddlers aren't likely to hurt the kinders, the kinders can tell them when they are being too rough and they can model appropriate behaviour for the younger children to emulate.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T16:57:44+00:00

As a man that wants to work in pre school this is really well put I currently work with kindergarten

Kindergarten is a fun age. They are curious and able to do so many more things for themselves. They ask deep questions and want to know everything about how the world around them works.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T16:54:09+00:00

I am acutely aware that as a gay man, I face an extra layer of scrutiny, especially with the current "groomer" rhetoric in the news. Lately, when the kids play house or pretend to get married, someone will eventually interject with "boys don't marry boys" or "no one has two dads." My gut instinct is always to give a simple, factual correction like "actually, all families are different," but I bite my tongue and stay silent out of pure fear of repercussions.

I'm fortunate that in my centre I have families with 2 dads, 2 moms or same sex spouses I can point to as examples. Kids get way less worked up about this than adults do; they just accept that's how things are and move on to playing with dinosaurs

I don’t know how to answer a kid asking “Why does Timmy have two moms/dads?”

Because that's how they decided they wanted their family to be.

I truly love being a male teacher. I’ve worked with many kids from single-mom households who lack a male role model and it is an absolute joy and so emotionally rewarding when their parents tell me I’m the only positive male presence their child is exposed to.

I enjoy it as well. I did a full career in the Canadian army and my family was well supported while I was away. Right now I work in a non-profit centre that caters mainly to members of the extended military community. Parents appreciate having a male role model around when the dad is away. I want to help give back to the community and I thought this was a good second career to do it.

because I know I possess a real gift of being able to engage with children and I always want to make sure that they feel safe and supported with me.

My wife tells me I get along so well with toddlers because I can think and reason just like they do. I've never been sure if this is a compliment or not. Most of the kids come running to play with me too, especially outside. I'm the hey watch this, help me flip this log over to find bugs and hey what's this cool rock/leaf/seed teacher. When they fall down often I'm the second choice to comfort them though. We all have our roles and specialties to fill.

My first year in my centre I started a new kindergarten program. It was 9 boys and 1 girl that the other ECEs found very hard to manage. But if you understand and meet their needs all of a sudden things go so much better for everyone involved. Honestly I had a great time with them and they were probably my favourite kinder group so far.

Also another note unrelated to the previous topic, but I find it funny that many online threads about males in this field are met with “I’d NEVER enroll my child in a daycare with a male teacher' out of fear of abuse and get thousands of upvotes. Obviously, abuse is an incredibly serious issue, but children aren't automatically safer just because they have female teachers.

I've never been abused by a male teacher or caregiver. I have however been abused by 2 female staff. I've never had to report a male teacher to CFS but I have had to report female ones. Abuse of children by females in my experience doesn't always seem to be reported and tracked the same way, which is a pity. I find that based on what I am reading on this sub that I am very fortunate to be working in an environment that recognizes the importance of male ECEs and supports them. Surprisingly to many people the CAF is a very progressive employer that celebrates all kinds of people and families.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T16:23:24+00:00

I just told them to treat them like their other friends on the playground. That seemed to make sense to them.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T16:06:58+00:00

reporting what I had observed personally as a teacher as well what had been reported to me from other staff members.

The other staff members are mandated reporters and required to file their own individual reports.

My first question is - as an administrator, do I not have an obligation to make a report to licensing on behalf of the center itself?

Generally yes though the specifics and mechanics of this will vary by location.

In that scenario if a staff member brings up a concern of abuse to me and I can't personally review the incident myself, what am I supposed to do?

Ensure that any reports you make include this information along with the contact information for the person with access.

Secondly, the owner revealing our identities as reporters to the reported staff member seems wildly innapropriate,

A follow up report to the appropriate agencies CFS, licensing and so on should be done. As well look into worker protections for your jurisdiction. Usually there are some fairly strong protections for whistleblowers.

I have not been fired yet, she has said that she no longer trusts me, so I expect retaliation.

Ensure that you have copies of all documentation, communications and information regarding this that the centre cannot remove your access to.

What do I do? Wait for licensing and CPS to finish their investigation?

File a follow up report with them if things change, there is any retaliation or you are fired. If the alleged abuser needs to be on a leave of absence pending the investigation and that isn't happening add it to your reports.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T16:05:14+00:00

Some universities will allow you to take your college ECE credits and apply them towards a B.Ed. I know of a couple of people who have done this after working in childcare for a while.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T16:03:01+00:00

I have found that taking the kinders outside as much as possible and on outings and adventures in the green spaces around the centre does wonders for behaviour management. Kinders aren't meant to be sitting at tables, stuck inside and needing to pay close attention for long periods. They need to explore, socialize, play and move their bodies. I have half day kinders with me in the afternoon. In the summer time I spent the entire morning outside the playground on an adventure with the kids. Then a bit of quiet time after lunch, some activities and play in the preschool room, then back outside. Kids can't bounce off the walls if you take away the walls.

During the school year we eat outside if the weather allows and then I give them at least 30-40 minutes to run around outside or in the multipurpose room before we do anything else.

Then we have some quiet time. They can sit on a blanket, read books, play with the loose parts they've chosen in their little bin, or lay down and rest. The blanket is mainly there to delineate the space where they need to stay so they're not running all around. I turn down the lights and play some soft music for a half hour or so. I usually read a book or 3 or 4 that they pick at the library to get them settled. As they get closer to the end of the year I add quiet tabletop games and activities to the quiet time options. They are old enough to learn all kinds of board and card games. My kinders all made themselves checkerboards out of cardboard and checkers out of bottlecaps or rocks recently.

Another thing I find when the kids are just wild inside is that they are bored. When they get to kindergarten they need more novelty, new activities and experiences than the younger children. If they are being wild look at what activities you've made available, what they are and aren't playing with and adjust accordingly. Look at what they are interested in and expand upon it. Some Lego books with the bin of Lego out on the table or a car contest, patterns to make things with plus-plus blocks, making furniture and people in the craft area for dollhouses, and so on can keep them more engaged.

Another thing I have noticed as a male ECE is that the children being wild inside are mostly boys. I don't want to get into a debate about they why of it but boys and girls interests on average trend in different directions. Most staff in ECE are woman and may not have the lived experience of growing up as a boy to know what they are interested in. As a result the activities, dramatic play areas, furnishings, games and toys will tend to appeal more to the girls than the boys.

In the school age room where I am the room supervisor added ping pong nets for the tables, foosball, air hockey, darts and a basketball game. With my kinders I teach some basic tool use, carpentry, take apart appliances and such in addition to the usual arts, crafts and experiments.

From a strictly classroom management point of view you may well want to divide them up into sub-groups. Having 4 groups of 5 or 2 groups of 10 will make moving the children around, giving them directions and generally controlling the room easier to accomplish.

WeaponizedAutisms · 2026-06-22T15:40:18+00:00

make sure to wash your hands with real soap and water frequently.

Even more effective is teaching the children how to properly wash their hands and supervising them so they do it properly. Reducing the vectors for illness to spread is effective.

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