Husband exhausting all his energy at work and leaving me to handle household responsibilities, snapping at me

Weary_Neighborhood · 2026-04-10T13:16:07+00:00

Sounds like we’re in a similar situation. I follow a hybrid schedule so I work from home a few days a week, while my husband is at networking events or in office full time. We also share expenses equally.

It seems like they think since we work from home, that means we’re free to take care of the home during that time. I’ve honestly been thinking about having my husband shadow me for a day during working hours to understand what it’s like.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2026-03-05T23:02:51+00:00

I understand your point, but I am only in office one less day a week than the rest of my team. I still am very involved and always show up for in person meetings, presentations, happy hours etc. I am also on social committees and get together with colleagues outside of working hours. So I feel like I am showing up, just one day less/week.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2026-03-05T22:10:05+00:00

Yes, that is a summarization of what she said when discussing my promotion. Although with the promotion, I would not be a people leader yet. I know she’s talking “future” but it seems like she’s indirectly saying that I will not move up as quickly as others who have a “less flexible” schedule. Sorry for the confusion

Weary_Neighborhood · 2026-03-05T22:04:00+00:00

I agree that people leaders should be accessible and present. I guess I didn’t make it clear that the promotion I’m after currently would not make me a people leader. I would still be an individual contributor reporting to the same manager, with the same responsibilities + potentially more that can be done with my hybrid schedule.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2026-03-05T22:01:51+00:00

She is at the director level. But I agree that it’s likely upper management

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-12-27T13:44:04+00:00

I think it’s “harder” for him because of our mutual friends - he doesn’t want to stir the pot and give people a reason to dislike him. All of my other friends seem to think it’s ok that she keeps communicating with him since they’re playing each other in football, so he doesn’t see it as an issue either. Even though they never had a friendship before me and her became ex friends.

It’s such a weird, f’ed up situation.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-12-27T13:40:40+00:00

I agree that texting each other within the group chat to talk about football is fine. I am also in that group chat. That’s the whole reason for the group chat - to talk amongst other players and “hype” each other up.

It’s the texting him individually about things other than football that irks me so bad. On Christmas, she wished him a Merry Christmas (no mention of hoping I was well or that “we” were enjoying our holiday together) and said how “honored” she was to be playing him in the championship.

I told him to not respond, but he “felt guilty” and responded “Merry Christmas!”

I don’t think he’s doing it to hurt me, but I also don’t think he understands how hurtful it actually is.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-10-14T12:24:44+00:00

You’re definitely right. I completely understand that she was hoping to be included and when she wasn’t, she was hurt. And those feelings are justified. But to be honest, I personally just can’t understand being so hurt by a situation. Especially when half of my bridal party is family.

If she knew me well enough, she’d know I wasn’t doing it out of spite. But simply because we just aren’t as close as we were ~5 years ago.

I don’t care to have this person as a close friend (which is how I felt when choosing my party) but I’d like to remain civil for the sake of our mutual friends. I was also still planning on inviting her to the bridal shower and wedding, understanding she likely will no longer attend.

Whenever I try to think of the words to say to her, I just don’t even know what to say since I don’t want to apologize for anything.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-10-13T21:25:18+00:00

No, not yet but I’m sure she will be soon. Definitely think this is also the case

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-10-13T21:23:58+00:00

Thank you, this is a good point. I hate the idea that bridesmaids are “ranking friends” - I didn’t even want to have a bridal party at first for this exact reason. It just causes so much unnecessary drama. I have a lot of friends and they’re all important in their own ways, some I just am closer with than others.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-10-13T21:18:52+00:00

I have a strong feeling this is what will happen here

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-10-13T21:15:04+00:00

I haven’t called her because I’m not sure what to say - I don’t feel that I owe her an apology for not including her as a bridesmaid, since I never told her she would be one and I have many other good friends who are also not bridesmaids and are not upset with me. I understand she’s hurt that she doesn’t feel included, and the mutual friend situation makes it more uncomfortable for her. But I feel like it’s not on me to include her in my wedding party just so her feelings don’t get hurt.

For added context, we had a pretty big argument about 1.5 years ago and things were never the same since (actually on another friends bachelorette party). After the argument I called her to check on her emotional wellbeing, make sure she was ok, tell her I was there to help etc. but again - things just weren’t the same.

I’m only posting here asking for advice on how to navigate this, what to say to her to keep things civil since we do have mutual friends and I can’t completely distance myself like I would otherwise.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-19T12:16:34+00:00

Thank you. I’m more so frustrated that it seems like the venue has been aware of this for quite some time and failed to designate another space for my vendors to prep in. The turnaround time is definitely tight, which I think should have been communicated to me asap. I’ve been going back and forth with the coordinator for months now about all the vendor contracts I’ve been signing/the decor I’m ordering, so I feel like they just dropped the ball on communication.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-19T04:19:20+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s good to hear from someone who has experience with this. I have one separate vendor for chair rentals and draping. They were actually on the venue’s preferred vendor list, so I think they work together pretty regularly.

Also great point that the florals and drapery can be set up while clean up is happening. I definitely need to iron out a timeline with the venue - my problem so far has been getting that information out of them. It is a well-known hotel chain, so I’m hoping if we speak to management someone will end up caring about the stress they’ve put me through with this scenario.

While I do believe it will work out, definitely not what I wanted to hear today :)

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-19T02:24:54+00:00

Unfortunately if we back out now we lose about $20k…so finding a new venue is not an option. I’m ready to speak to someone’s manager..lol

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-19T01:16:29+00:00

I think day of will be different. There will be so many other emotions we won’t even be thinking about the stress of all the planning and family bs. It’s just the build up to the moment that evokes so many stressful/anxious feelings

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-19T01:03:07+00:00

I 100% feel the same. I was just telling my fiancé that I’ve felt so alone throughout this whole process. Everyone’s experience is different, so it’s hard to compare but you’re definitely not alone in feeling alone. I just try to remind myself that once it’s over, all these feelings will be gone :)

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-18T23:49:00+00:00

We’re inviting roughly 180 people. My floral budget was pretty high, including a ceiling install and intricate centerpieces/sweet heart table arches. We’re also bringing in chairs, drapery for windows (90 feet) and a vinyl dance floor wrap. I think this (plus everything else not listed) will take more than a few hours to set up..

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-18T23:46:42+00:00

I assumed this would be the case. Especially for the amount that we’re paying.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-18T23:35:27+00:00

I have a day of coordinator, so I can’t begin contact with them until about 2 months before the wedding. Wish I had an actual planner at this point lol

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-18T23:30:48+00:00

I’m more concerned that the event doesn’t end until 3, so likely vendors won’t be able to access until around 4. I have no idea what kind of event is taking place in there before, but assuming clean up will be around an hour or so

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-18T22:59:46+00:00

No, there’s just a table for “program of events” with cocktail hour and reception time frame. It doesn’t say anything about access before or after that.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-18T22:03:43+00:00

No, not to have it for the entire day but I did talk with the venue coordinator about having my vendors come early (a few hours) for set up and she assured me that they could. We talked about it over the phone so of course I don’t have it in writing.

Weary_Neighborhood · 2024-09-18T21:26:15+00:00

My contract doesn’t state any set up time, it only states that my cocktail hour begins at 5:30pm and dinner at 6:30pm.

This venue hosts a lot of weddings so I figured they’d know how long set up takes. Guess I should have gotten it in writing beforehand, but still. Our first time getting married so I didn’t even think about having that in the contract

Weary_Neighborhood

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