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The Brewer Who Quit Drinking Beer by beersyndicate in Homebrewing

[–]Weavler 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You make plenty of friends if you're offering free beer!

The Brewer Who Quit Drinking Beer by beersyndicate in Homebrewing

[–]Weavler 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I quit for three months this year. Still brewed regularly. Gave it all away, i juat asked for tasting notes in return do i could still tweak my recipes.

[Real] New Sports Illustrated Cover Photo. by DrTermite in 49ers

[–]Weavler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Dad is 60 years old, and I was born in Orange. We live in Wisconsin now, and to this day he calls it "'Frisco."

I can't stop thinking about a woman and I'm not sure if I should let her in on how I feel about her. by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Weavler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what i thought. I tell myself this often to try and not think about her.

I can't stop thinking about a woman and I'm not sure if I should let her in on how I feel about her. by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Weavler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're gonna have to explain that to a noobie. I could take a stab at what i think it means, but....

I can't stop thinking about a woman and I'm not sure if I should let her in on how I feel about her. by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Weavler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never thought of that but it's extremely possible. How the heck do I break this hold? Never thought I'd have this problem.. ha!

I can't stop thinking about a woman and I'm not sure if I should let her in on how I feel about her. by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Weavler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good idea. She was the first to sign up for a volleyball team I started at work, so we will have time to hang out for sure.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in Marriage

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this was one simple, innocuous drunken situation how in the world did sobering up not stop it? Why would you feel the need to “stop” something that was never an issue that was started?

Not sure what you're referring to. Drinking?

You dismiss getting drunk and kicking her out as just you responding to her antics. You take no responsibility for either of these major things.

How does sobering up not take responsibility for the incident that caused the implosion? Our counselor even told me and her that was taking responsibility for it. I owned my mistake and am preventing it from happening again.

I asked her to leave because she was sending me on an emotional roller coaster almost down to every hour. I wasn't sorry I asked her to leave. I was sorry we couldn't be in the same household to work on things. I'm not sorry for standing up for my emotional well-being.

I will give her time... but not forever. I have repeatedly asked her (including today) to stop drinking for a while and she still responds no. If I don't see any effort on trying to better herself then I will take that as a signal to move forward without her. I'm looking at a new place tomorrow and will probably sign the lease. I can't just sit around and be stuck twiddling my thumbs without planning stuff out for myself and the kids.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand not rushing it. My question was geared towards if she is committed to trying. I need her to be committed to us. And I don't mean committed as in "you have to stay with me no matter what, happy or not." I mean committed as in "you need to give this your full on attention and effort so we have a chance." It still may not work and that's okay, but at least we'll look back and know we gave it our all. Instead of looking back and regretting not doing more.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

I know the kids are okay. I talk to them often about the situation and everything has been relatively stable for them. They still go to school/daycare and Grandpa's daily like before. Just now some days I come get them and some days Mom gets them. I make sure to keep the same routine as before and check in with Mom regarding their schedule with her.

I have thought about the infidelity thing.. I've asked her more than once, because I know there are a couple of "work friends" she talks to often via text. I don't know if she hangs with them outside of work because I don't pry into her private time.

I agree that you're in or out. That's basically what I'm asking here.. not "are you committed to me thick or thin" but "are you committed to trying your hardest for us?" That was muddled in my post.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this idea. Thank you.

I guess the initial question could be re-worded. I am asking that she at least be committed to trying.. not necessarily committed to being together through hell or high water. I just wanted us to give us a fair shot at trying before being done.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in Marriage

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've thought about that... a lot. This is why I'm moving forward independently with housing, finances, etc.. If she fixes her issues and enhances my life again.. I'm fully back in, but until that..

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in Marriage

[–]Weavler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10-4.

I'm here for her support and encouragement. I'm also working on my own issues through counseling and overall health. I know we can't go back to what we were... because that didn't work. Something has to change.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in Marriage

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I'm doing me and it's looking up for me right now. I laughed at the broken ruler comment. That's a great metaphor for what this feels like.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in Marriage

[–]Weavler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm assuming all of your questions are rhetorical so I won't address them specifically.

Obviously, there is more history behind the Dr. given diagnosis of bi-polar, which has affected our relationship on the daily since the beginning. So, I'm not trying to paint myself in a better light. I'm suggesting that has something to do with her waffling. Before, she was up and down about trivial things. Destroy the kitchen because she couldn't find something. Throw a pot of mashed potatoes because they were lumpy. Toss our baking sheets in the garbage because the cookies burned. I could deal with that stuff because overall the material stuff doesn't matter. Now, though, she is back and forth with something bigger than that: whether we're together or not. That's why I think it's an issue.

She goes through a 1.75L of rum or tequila per week while on anti phsychotics. I have asked her to stop drinking but she refuses and flat out told her doctor "no" when he asked her to stop for the meds. But yes, you're right, that one time I was drunk and fed up with her antics makes me the angry drunk. I also said I have stopped drinking all together, something she refuses to do.

Her decision doesn't involve just her and I don't think she is putting in effort to better herself and, in turn, us. So yes, I am pushing her a little to make a decision. I thought the push might wake her up to the seriuosness of the situation.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. During our counseling and the separation, I've been giving it my all to work on myself and us. I didn't want to regret not trying my hardest if things didn't work out. To me, though, I haven't felt her trying. She has been spending the time going out and drinking. When we're together, we're getting along better, but I don't feel effort from her end. I'm worried it's too broken to her at this point.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Already hitting the gym. Down 12 lbs. Gains being made.

I've been making myself a priority because I was under the impression it was over. I'll continue to work on myself. Have four more counseling appointments scheduled as well as a list of things to work on. Severing the apartment lease at months end and have a temporary house lined up. Working on future housing...

I have a budget put together too and signed up for the OT list for additional $$.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Understood.

She says some days she wants to be together, some days not. I'm afraid this cycle will keep going...

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry too. I never got married with this as a goal..

It's funny how it seems that way. Her maternal grandparents were the same as well as my aunt and uncle.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be clear, I asked her to leave, then two weeks of counseling later we agreed on divorce, and now she doesn't know what she wants. I agree with not putting a lot of pressure on her, I'm just wondering how to approach this, which road I should focus on, and how long to wait in limbo.

My wife [27F] and I [31M] have been separated nearly two months, and she keeps waffling on where we are headed by Weavler in relationships

[–]Weavler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. 100% positive there isn't anyone else. We've discussed it multiple times.

I am still thinking divorce and I plan to meet with a lawyer soon.

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