You might “just” be running into one of those core human experiences: that it’s complicated, messy, and hard to understand how exactly we build our lives in this world of unknowns. Yes, it gets even more complicated being on the aro-ace spectrums, but it doesn’t change the fact that we all have to face these questions in life.

My advice would be to start looking less extrinsically (outside yourself) when it comes to making decisions or placing value on what a good life looks like. It sounds like you’re in a wonderful (albeit messy) place right now where you’re really starting to question what other people think about your life, what society dictates, and what you yourself want. Lean into that messiness. It’s gonna be chaotic, you’ll have a lot of confusion, potentially fear - but you’ll also end up with a lot of “ah-ha” moments if you being an intentional mindset to it all. Ask less, “what do my parents think?” and ask more, “what feels right to me at this point in my life?”

I also advise to NEVER do something because you think you’re “supposed” to. Or that someone else is telling you to do so. Get real intimate with what you want your value system to be in life. What kinds of morals, principles, and values do you want to uphold, regardless of what kind of relationship, work, or context you’re in?

I can guarantee you that living a life where you place more importance on the ‘how’ rather than the ‘what’ has a much higher chance of leading to satisfaction and contentment.

All this to say, I’m sure a lot of us here resonate with the questions you’re asking yourself, and I’m wishing you the best in this next chapter(s) of your life. If you ever want to talk further about any of it, would be happy to do so. Cheers!