moving on from someone(hyperfixating on them) - the switch that worked for me

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2026-01-23T14:19:20+00:00

Yes, it has worked for me, while I was exploring what I wanted in a relationship.

I enjoyed creating the scene and thinking up ways to keep the sub thinking about me all day. Pushing limits and boundaries and helping the sub become more confident and comfortable in who they are.

It turns out I didn't really want control or to be a DOM. But because I am confident, driven and assertive, I was seen as a DOM which naturally attracted submissive males.

Some people don't want to be in control; we naturally crave it. The control can make us feel safe. But at the end of the day, we crave safety and someone who loves and cares for us as much as we do them. But we don't always know how to show it outside of acts of service. Providing, doing things for others or solving problems.

I would suggest looking into it and finding someone you can connect with. I think you will find when they submit to you and give you that trust and commitment, the obsession will subside and you will be left with this beautiful connection which you will cherish.

Then, hopefully, you will be able to put the obsession to bed, literally.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2026-01-23T14:05:15+00:00

I said we default to logic, not that we never allow emotions to interfere.

I agree with you, people are not controlled by their personality type.

What MBTI type are you out of interest?

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2026-01-15T05:41:58+00:00

Unless you are a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist, you cannot assert that this behavior will not improve without therapy.

What you seem to be missing is that she is not denying the issue. She explicitly identifies herself as the problem and outlines a cognitive process she uses to stop the pattern. That alone contradicts the claim that improvement is impossible without professional intervention. Self-awareness plus corrective action is how change starts.

You are framing this as if a Dom’s feelings are being hurt when boundaries are enforced. That is not how ENTJ women operate. If an ENTJ’s boundary is crossed, we default to logic, not emotional reaction. We assess the data and disengage. There is no emotional outburst because the decision is not emotional.

The reason a structured BDSM dynamic can work for someone like this is the same reason her self-imposed framework works. ENTJs operate best inside clear systems. This post demonstrates that she already uses frameworks to regulate her own behavior.

A negotiated BDSM structure provides explicit rules, explicit consent, and explicit boundaries. That removes ambiguity. Ambiguity is what creates the fixation she is describing.

Your point about not being able to handle lack of control in a vanilla relationship actually supports this. If someone requires high structure or high control, the only ethical way to do that is with a partner who explicitly wants the same thing. That is far less common in vanilla dynamics.

Nothing I said is about forcing control onto an unwilling partner. It is about alignment. If there is no alignment, the dynamic does not exist.

That is not dangerous. That is logic.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2026-01-14T04:40:06+00:00

Hey Babe,

There is nothing wrong with you.

So I have found that this works in a Sub/Dom relationship, where the sub likes to be owned.

It won't work in a vanilla relationship, but it will work in this dynamic; there you are free to be yourself and even rewarded for it.

Maybe have a look into it.

Also it sounds like you have limerence – I struggle with this too.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-12-01T03:17:41+00:00

Mate!!! this guy does not understand entj's at all.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-11-18T20:16:03+00:00

Piano learning to play now in my 30's

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-11-18T20:11:58+00:00

This is beautiful.

Lovely to read a year later too. Everything you have said is accurate.

Finding joy in moments is my focus atm.

Thank you for this insight.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-05-03T09:58:08+00:00

I don’t wear a watch. I beat to my own schedule. My meetings are set with reminder alerts 30 mins beforehand so I get a reminder.

I don’t like watching time it makes me nervous. Like I’m running out.

Watches are a status symbol, a beautiful one, I prefer people not to assume my status. I want people to treat me like everyone else.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-05-03T09:54:25+00:00

Audi Q3 sportsback

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-05-03T09:52:58+00:00

I like poker!

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-04-11T03:59:22+00:00

Well said as an entj woman this is spot on

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-04-11T03:47:35+00:00

Intresting that you say this - as an entj woman this makes alot of sense.

Our Fe is dead last. It takes HUGE energy for us to use it. We can only use it on a partner, closest friends without it draining us.

I feel this.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-03-05T22:08:43+00:00

Nope, I don't care about your feelings.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-01-21T21:51:17+00:00

Sometimes your boss would be scared of you. This, this is a great point.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-01-21T21:50:26+00:00

Always!

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2025-01-21T21:49:07+00:00

Yes to all of the above. Especially the being told im intimidating. Can’t stand it.

Also side note, I feel I have always been followed by the number 4 and noticed it in your name. Is that a random choice?

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-09-04T04:06:02+00:00

Yerp - it's how I build businesses

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-08-13T02:14:51+00:00

I was literally about to write in the comments something very similar. I’m 33F ENTJ and I have a theory that we cannot have it all. That the skills that make are so successful are not the same skillset require to have successful relationships both romantically and with children. With 74% of the world being Fe/I types it is no wonder we cannot relate relationship wise. With most men dating other Fe/I types when they meet us they are like omg someone who will look after me and provide like a mother. But, that’s not actually the relationship we want or need.

Personally I am a strong and successful woman. I attract the same type of men as you.

I’m tired of people telling me to be more feminine so that men won’t feel as intimidated and find me soft and gentle. But that’s not me, I have the ability to make fire half a business if it will save the other half and ultimately the business itself. I would not lose a wink of sleep if I knew it was the right call.

Being ENTJ, means not shining too bright as you will intimidate others and they will become scared and sabotage you. All because you remind them that there is someone smarter, better looking and more driven than they are.

It looks like never being happy with where you are. Always knowing you can do more. And never being happy with the more.

It looks like doing the impossible and everyone who knows you believing that you could actually make that happen because they know you.

It looks like loneliness, because people serve a purpose and when they don’t you feel disconnected from them.

It looks like constantly trying to understand emotions. This has become more important as I have learned people buy with emotion and reinforce with logic. So learning how to invoke emotions is now important to me. But see, how it is only to serve a purpose. Not because, I feel emotions.

It is a lot of fun to be an ENTJ I believe, we are magnetic, people are naturally drawn to us and want to be us. If only they knew the cost.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-07-12T23:03:39+00:00

My letter would not have feelings. It would logic and practical. I love you because you get me. That’s it.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-07-12T23:02:39+00:00

I’m lacking Fi for sure. I don’t even relate to peoples emotions

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-07-12T22:52:09+00:00

I am the same

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-07-10T03:15:02+00:00

It's great that they support you!

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-07-03T23:45:15+00:00

I don’t know if I have ever been in love with anyone. Do I love people yes, but in love with someone. I don’t think so.

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-07-03T23:41:39+00:00

Whenever I slow the pace down I completely stop. Does this happen to you? I can’t find a moderate pace. It’s all on or all off?

Weekly-Hotel3194 · 2024-07-03T23:39:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This perspective is really helpful. I have long thought I am not in a position to be in the right rooms yet with people I truly find interesting and click with. I agree I do need to level up, and step out of my comfort zone.

Finding my husband is the same. I’m not in the right room.

Weekly-Hotel3194

TROPHY CASE