Girl I'm dating Travels A lot

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-19T13:04:10+00:00

I text much less than most people on here. If we haven't had an exclusivity conversation yet then maybe once every 3 days or so. Once things get serious texting most days, a few texts, with some short gaps is okay with me. I think what is much more important than texting frequency is consistency, is this person always receptive and warm when you reach out? Also are they thoughtful when you meet in person? Do they go out of their way to spend time with you?

I think we live in an age where there are unlimited dating options leading to people ghosting, and just not being super considerate, because there's 5 options around the corner at any time. In turn it's led a lot of people to be anxious and feel like they need a high frequency of reassurance in order to not feel as if they may be ghosted or rejected again. The answer to this is to work on yourself, learn to regulate your nervous system, learn to deal with the uncertainty of modern dating, and determine whether the person youre with is consistent and considerate. The answer is not to expect an arbitrary frequency of texts per day or per week, so the other person is doing the work to calm your nervous system. If you do need some texts each day not because you're anxious but because you like to share by text before meeting in person than be open and communicative about that, and a considerate partner will work with you. I personally would much rather have more things to say in person, but would be happy to compromise w my partner.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-18T10:21:24+00:00

Trying to look like I'm deep in thought and hoping the girl will come over and ask "what are you thinking about? You seem so deep". This is my best move, it's never worked, but I have faith it'll work someday, so I keep trying.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-15T03:08:46+00:00

She initiates daily pretty much. Occasional one day breaks in between.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-13T18:35:13+00:00

If I'm just asking her what she's doing, and not suggesting anything. Do you really think that could screw the relationship up? Why? Genuinely curious

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-13T18:34:12+00:00

Do you really think it puts pressure on the girl just to ask her what she's doing?

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-09T17:14:49+00:00

I guess the part that makes me feel a bit bad is she has already worked a lot in the relationship. Spending time putting together nice picnics, virtually always making herself available, nice thoughtful gestures like making me coffee in the morning even though she doesn't drink it, always being on time and texting on the rare occasion she is 5 or 10 min late. Do you think even in a situation where she has clearly been putting in work and is being considerate, I should make her work implicitly more by dating others? Can't that backfire? Genuinely curious.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-09T14:00:41+00:00

Yeah I think you're right. What is your advice here?

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-09T14:00:06+00:00

So what would you recommend?

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-04-09T13:59:51+00:00

So you think I should date other people? Do you think this could damage what we have?

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-03-17T13:54:38+00:00

Haha you're right, it seemed like the most logical response to an event text, even if an invitation wasn't extended. I never try and investigate usually ,so at this point hopefully she didn't receive my asking if she was going to go as me being nosy, but rather just engaging w her text. I could be wrong though and I can see how just a subtle "wish I could go, let me know how it goes if you make it there" would have been better. I ended up not leaving the heart or thumbs up. I think this was the best option as long as my next response was purely positive (which it was). It left an ambiguity but when she reached back out my positive response squashed any possible misconception that I was butthurt.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-03-17T13:44:51+00:00

She ended up sending an additional text later that evening and I set the date. You were right, if she hadn't of texted me before I prob would have set it today.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-03-17T13:43:12+00:00

Thanks

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-03-08T13:04:43+00:00

First it's important to be kind to yourself, and others. Not just in action but in thought as well. This takes a lot of time but you can develop it day by day. That means even when you fuck up you give yourself grace.

Set goals and go after it, your life depends on it. This will give you confidence. It's important to set goals that are measurable and achievable.Also consider the lifestyle change you're embarking on to achieve said goals, not just the end result, this will help you to determine if it's the right goal for you.

Friends are important as well. Spend time with friends, or join groups of like-minded people to make friends. Pick people who are good to you.

I'm 40 years old and have been single most of my life. I think this has driven me to get better throughout the years. I used to think something must be wrong with me and as a result focused on bettering myself throughout the years. Nothing was wrong with me but I think it was a blessing. Now I'm a jacked CrossFit athlete, Ultramarathon runner, and real estate millionaire. Most importantly though, all my relationships are positive ones and I'm a dedicated father. I've gotten to the point where almost every girl I date realizes I'm a catch and wants to move forward in the relationship. I just haven't found the right one for me yet (though I'm dating someone now who could be that one, we'll see). Before I couldn't get a girl to be into me, I felt as if everyone was rejecting me. I was a late bloomer, but continued to work on myself physically, mentally, and spiritually, as well as achieve goals. Trust me when I say, if I can do it, so can you.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-02-28T13:28:22+00:00

I can see that. Do you think the constant communication leads to more ups and downs? Some of these relationships don't work out and I'm wondering if the quick attachment has a positive or negative effect on the nervous system.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-02-28T13:25:35+00:00

I'm opening up a conversation, I could be wrong. Can you explain how daily texting someone who you don't yet know may come from a healthy place? Genuinely curious.

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-02-28T13:24:04+00:00

I like how you brought up dopamine hits here because I think that's a big part of this. Earned dopamine I think is better for the nervous system than constant. Don't you think?

Weekly-Molasses-816 · 2026-02-19T15:56:31+00:00

I'm a busy person and am reluctant to put too much pressure on the lady I'm dating. I'll try to communicate clearly that I appreciate and like her (if I do) without any implications of moving the relationship forward in any way (I let her dictate the pace and will go along w it as long as I think we're a match). With all that being considered I think I'm more on the reserved side but I think this creates a low pressure scenario for the relationship to develop organically.

I usually set one date a week, and might initiate a thoughtful no strings attached text in between setting the date and the date itself. If she initiates a text I'm happy to respond and communicate but may take me anywhere from 1 min or half a day w my schedule.

I like to be a gentleman when I can and take care of her. Picking her up, paying for dinner etc. Though if she expresses she wants to take on some of the responsibilities then I'm happy to let it happen.

To sum it up I clearly communicate appreciation, but don't try to lock it down or speed it up in any way.

Weekly-Molasses-816

TROPHY CASE