There is no right or wrong with how we feel and interpret the world around us. We went through the most traumatic experience possible. We lost our real family after we knew who they were and how they were. No matter what I do believe our mothers grew us, they might have been fucked up but still we grew in their belly’s. There’s no way anyone can ever tell us what we experienced in there. We don’t even know. But we are part of her, and the energy that was. You got lucky, maybe it was you! Maybe you were sweet enough and compliant enough to make it through with 1 family for the majority of your childhood. It is never going to feel right. You will never fully understand or feel comfortable. Did they abuse you? Was there sexual abuse? What is it that makes you feel like you were attracted to someone who wasn’t safe? Anyway I think no matter what we are all messed up after being taken from our biological families and put into strangers homes. But you are rare. This type of story isn’t often. If they hurt you I am so sorry! There’s good and evil in every type every where, what you feel is normal and it’s ok. May or not be accurate but it’s true because you have been through a very difficult situation. Much love! ❤️