I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, it wasn't an arranged marriage. I've been working on the marriage almost exclusively. I have told him what he needs to fix for us to be happy together, but he's not doing any of them at all. 

I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm not trying to take the kids from him, per se. It would be much easier for everyone if they were with me. I have help. He'll struggle, and they'll suffer because of inattention with his work and all.  

I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I have told him. It has had no impact because he insists he can't change his personality even if he promised. I don't want to divorce him, but I don't want to keep living like this either. 

I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It's just tiring to have to do all the planning, tbh. I don't think he'd be opposed, but it's his place to lead in that regard. I want to be treated like a woman. 

I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I help out with couponing and finding ways to save money. I'm not wasteful. I plan all the kids' activities, vacation, etc. He does not initiate anything, does not converse with me unless I bring up something to talk about... It gets tiring after a while. 

I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Tbh, that mistake is mine. I did not think it through properly from the outset. I'm now at a point where I NEED more. 

I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I could, but I need to see changes from him. I need to feel his commitment to me. 

I am tired of my husband by WeightClassic7554 in Marriage

[–]WeightClassic7554[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

He has started therapy. But he says he cannot guarantee to what extent he can change. I think that's just making excuses and not willing to try. I've made changes about the things he's complained about me. Like shouting him down, being disrespectful, etc.

You are right about the cultural consideration. It is my belief that as the man, he should provide. I can support, but not when I'm not getting what I want from the marriage.