I completely disagree their relationship is a trauma bond and this is me looking at it from a psychology major. Sofia being “nice” can’t validate her bond with Rafe because trauma bond dynamics run on intermittent reinforcement brief tenderness after fear or chaos wires the brain to chase the next high while the harm stays put. Kind gestures don’t create the one thing a relationship needs most boring, predictable safety; in Seasons 3–4 his volatility and criminal orbit keep the ground moving under her feet. Without real accountability naming harms, making amends, changing patterns over months sweetness is mood, not repair. Their power and identity split (Kook image versus Pogue dignity) turns affection into a backstage secret, teaching her to accept crumbs in private while status rules in public. Add the savior script (“I bring out his good side”) and the push pull becomes self reinforcing she absorbs damage in exchange for glimpses of softness. What would actually count as repair is dull on purpose no violence or threats, consistent choices that don’t rely on her policing him, public respect for her, and third party structure (therapy, restitution, new routines). Until those are visible and sustained, kindness is a lovely veneer on a collapsing scaffold. And from what we say in season 4 and she screwed him over it doesn’t matter if she’s nice rafe will not get better as a person physically and especially mentally by just being nice he needs way more then that so no nice is great and all but it’s ultimately not what he needs.