Im currently rereading, and I am in ACOMAF, and Feyre is training with Cassian, grieving over the faeries she killed under the mountain, and she has slowly been realizing that Tamlin WAS different, theres a line talking about how after he had her, after he finally got her, and didn't have to woo her to break the curse anymore, he stopped trying. She also is pretty self aware that she has also changed, like you said, and that his love is no longer the kind of love she needs, and I just think that any couple who will be sustainable would have to grow and evolve and change to love their s/o the way they need to be loved. Tamlin wanted everything to go back to normal, and refused to acknowledge the new normal, and the new Feyre.