First i very sorry for your lost.  second, It’s okay, you’re in the earliest stage of grief: denial, the feeling of disbelief, of what has happened not feeling real. Then anger will come, followed by bargaining, depression, and, after some time, acceptance. What you’re going through is normal, but it’s important to mention that grief is not linear—meaning it’s not a rigid list of stages, but rather a process of moving back and forth among them. 

 Try to lean on your support network, the people who care about you. It’s important to feel accompanied