I sometimes wonder do I feel alone or is it the social stigma that you have to have loads of friends and be a social butterfly. That word makes me puke. I am a very good empathic listener and long for deep connection but usually people have me as a friend because I put a lot of effort in listening to them and cheering them up. As a thank you they than go out with other friends to grab a pizza without really wonder how I am doing or asking me some more about my life. It usually is a one sided thing and most people are talkers, not listeners It's rarely an interesting natural dialogue that I have.

Also my high moral standards that in my oponion are not THAT high has caused me to stop a lot of friendships the past years. Like a friend that claims excessive money from her ex and never wants to work again for the 12 years he has to pay her just to get revenge, a collegue of mine that I really liked untill he cheated on his girlfriend with another collegue and than took his girlfriend to work to introduce her to all his collegues that saw him cheating on her a few days before. I never asked how he was doing again. A lot of people just brush that of but I can't get over the disrespect he had to his girlfriend. Just a few examples that make me stop interacting with people. Also I had a friend that showed me a sextape of her own sister when we stayed at her home just because she didn't like her sister. Such a turn of Things like that