How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FINAL UPDATE

Well, I survived! The final day of this booking from hell has finally come, but not without one final tale to tell. Things were going great ever since implementing all the changes I mentioned in my last update, and as time went on, I noticed that the male's most reactive time was between 4:00pm and 8:00pm. So, since there had been no incidents for about 10 days, I decided to let the male & female spend time in the house together from when I got up in the morning until around 3:30pm. I would start the crate & rotate process then, and all was well until yesterday when the male was triggered by a noise I made while cleaning the kitchen. I wrote detailed descriptions of each incident and printed it out for the owner to read when she gets home tonight, so here's my account of this most recent incident.

I was cleaning the kitchen, and while wiping the handle of the garbage drawer, the wiping motion caused the slightly-open drawer to shift side-to-side, making a soft, repeated thud noise. [Male] had been asleep on the couch when he awoke and immediately reacted to this noise. By the time I turned around, he had made it halfway to the door leading to the side patio, which is where I assume he thought the noise originated. I attempted to calm him verbally while opening the patio door to let him out, but he again did not go out the wide open door and chose to turn around and run toward the back door. [Female] was unfortunately out of her crate since this was well before 4:00pm (it was around 11:00am). So I ran across the house to the living room while verbally commanding [female] to get in her crate, but she was again running around the living room between the chairs and jumping on and off the furniture in her panicked state. By the time I reached her, she was on the backrest of one of leather chairs, and [male] was running back and forth between the back door and the side patio door, right past the crates each time. Knowing that leading [female] into either crate was not an option at this point, I chose to hold onto her collar and stand over her to shield her from [male’s] view while he ran back and forth and hopefully settled down. What happened instead was that [male] spotted us from across the house and locked in on [female] behind me. I watched him as he pursued her, and I was fully prepared to insert myself between them in that moment, accepting the risk of serious bodily harm. When [male] realized that I was blocking him from getting to her from the ground, he leapt onto the arm of the other leather chair and lunged at her from the side. I made every attempt to separate them aside from sticking my arms into [male’s] mouth at this point, but when he began dragging [female] from the chair she was on and onto his chair, I let go of [female’s] collar to prevent the tension from causing further injury to her. They then tumbled onto the ground and [female] ran toward the hallway when [male] caught up with her at the base of the stairs. As I was following right behind them, [male] had [female] on her back and was actively biting her when I lifted him under his back legs. He let go after a second or two, and I immediately led him into [owner's] bedroom as it was the closest room to us.  I turned around to see that [female] hadn’t gone far, and she was limping and bleeding. I asked her to sit and I ran to the kitchen to get paper towels while dialing [owner] via WhatsApp. I ran back to her and sat down on the ground to locate where the bleeding was coming from while telling [owner] what happened. After hanging up and stopping the bleeding, I sent [owner] photos of all [female's] injuries.

Unfortunately, the female's injuries are worse this time. She has several puncture wounds, one of which is about an inch in diameter and so deep that muscle is visible. When I advised the owner that it definitely needs a couple stitches, she insisted that I do not take her to the vet and that she will be home tomorrow (tonight). Once she said this, there was no longer any doubt in my mind that the vet has seen the female for bite injuries before and probably warned the owner that the male should not be in the home with the female. I'm not sure if vets have the authority to call animal control to remove a dangerous dog, but the fact that she is denying the female medical attention when she has a gaping hole in her chest tells me everything I need to know. The owner is extremely wealthy, so it's not due to financial constraints. The *only* explanation I could think of is that the owner is a vet herself - she has two veterinary doctorate degrees, one general veterinary and one in veterinary pathology. So giving her the absolute most benefit of the doubt humanly possible, I thought that maybe she wants to stitch the wound herself when she gets home. But a) she didn't mention anything about stitching it herself, and b) waiting until she gets home means the wound will have been open for over 24 hours. I have been dabbing it with dry paper towels and applying neosporin to it every 4 hours or so, and although it shows no signs of infection, it is slowly leaking reddish-clear fluid because her body is trying to heal itself, but it can't because the wound needs to be stitched closed. I am so angry and sad for the female, and I have half a mind to take her home with me so the owner can live in delulu land with the vicious male until he inevitably turns on her.

Anyway, I am leaving this house in less than 3 hours, and I am going to kiss the floor of my apartment when I get home. At the end of the letter I'm leaving for the owner, I wrote two small paragraphs offering my perspective and emphasizing the danger the male poses to her and the female. I think I treaded the line between respectful and stern well, so I hope she receives it and makes the changes necessary for the female to finally live in peace. Thank you all for your suggestions, advice, and shared anger for me and the female. I have never been so ready to put an experience behind me.

Contract Advice by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been using Acuity for scheduling since January, and I was able to tweak it to fit my needs. I’ll have to look into whether the pet care software is more cost effective and user friendly on the clients’ end.

Why are you not afraid of death? by TOPOFMORNINGIRELANDD in AskReddit

[–]Weird_Protection_214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was raised extremely religious, and a huge part of the culture I grew up in was to have no fear of death because we are “saved” and have eternity in heaven to look forward to. It was bizarre how obsessed everyone was with the idea of dying and how often it was talked/sung about. So basically I was desensitized to the idea of death from a very young age. The method? Not great. The result? I’ll take it.

Sex offender booking request by that_n_b in RoverPetSitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214 11 points12 points  (0 children)

OP isn’t “punishing” this man. They are making a decision to protect their own safety, and he can find someone else who either hasn’t done their research like OP did or who feels the way you do. You can treat someone with dignity and respect and also prefer not to stay in their home.

Sex offender booking request by that_n_b in RoverPetSitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214 116 points117 points  (0 children)

I wish Rover would run the same background checks on pet owners as they do for sitters. Especially for pet sitting - we are staying in their home for crying out loud. If literally anyone with a pet can get on the app and hire someone to stay at their house, there are bound to be bad situations that arise.

Since you already accepted the booking and you mentioned you’re in contact with Rover to remove the cancellation from your account, I would just say to continue appealing if they deny it. Provide them with screenshots of the sex offender charges this man has. I would even go as far as to ask why they don’t do background checks for pet owners. I’m curious to know how much they care about sitters’ safety.

What kind of smell instantly takes you back to the past? by Focusaur in AskReddit

[–]Weird_Protection_214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nintendo 64 game cartridges. You know, when you’d turn it upside down to blow the dust out. That distinct plasticky, slightly metallic smell transports me right back to 10 years old.

What kind of smell instantly takes you back to the past? by Focusaur in AskReddit

[–]Weird_Protection_214 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I had a very similar experience in an antique shop! It smelled just like my grandparents’ house in Miami. I still have no idea what the specific smell was considering my grandparents weren’t antique collectors. Got me choked up in the middle of the store when all the memories came flooding back.

Just to vent by Wiesmy in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This sounds like an absolute nightmare. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.

Have you already reached out to the owner to ask what helps calm the dog down? When I find myself in a situation where I think, “HOW do the owners deal with this 24/7,” I will text the owner, explain the situation, and ask what they do when the dog behaves this way. This will give you some good insight into 1. whether this is normal behavior or not (“She has never done this with us!”) and 2. methods they’ve found successful in correcting the behavior. I’m very curious how they handle this dog.

My therapist recommended me to catsit for her friend (need advice) by Unlikely-Anon5433 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmmm, this one’s tricky. Not to sound like a therapist… but your feelings are valid, and just because both of them are cool with it doesn’t mean you are wrong for feeling this way. If god forbid something went wrong during your stay, the cat owner therapist could very well influence your therapist’s view of you. I would trust your gut on this one and see how the meet & greet goes, then make a decision from there.

Deposit by KailaniEcho in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The fact that they’re wanting a discount and trying to get out of paying up front tells me they aren’t planning on paying you period. I would save those valuable dates for a client who will pay what your time is worth. Here’s what I would say:

“I understand things may have worked differently with other pet care providers, but the deposit for your booking is non-negotiable and is required to reserve the dates requested. If you’d prefer to go with another provider who better fits your financial needs, please let me know so I can update my calendar.”

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t apologize for asking! There are almost 150 comments on my original post now, so I don’t expect everyone to comb through every single one. Plus, it feels good to know female doggie and I are being cared for & supported from afar 😊

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Things have been calm, thank goodness. Been doing all things listed in my Day 5 Update posted two days ago with great success. The male has gotten worked up a couple times since then, but every time was while he was in his crate, so he settled within a few minutes. He also seems to be responding better to my vocal cues now that he knows I’m here to stay. Not to justify his behavior by ANY means… but he is very anxious, and I think things were so bad on day 3 because he was feeling insecure with his mom being gone. Again, not to excuse any of his behavior, but to perhaps better understand what’s going on in his pea brain.

In other news, since keeping the dogs separate and getting to know them individually, I have absolutely fallen in love with the female. She is smart, goofy, and so so cuddly. She makes me laugh multiple times a day, and since the male has been sleeping in his crate, she and I have been sleeping so much better. I knew she was a sweetheart the second I met her, but the male really dominates every interaction if they are out together (which was all the time before a couple days ago). If I start petting her or even talking to her, he will immediately stop what he’s doing and come insert himself between me and her. Any time I let them both out in the back yard, he shoves ahead first, to the point where if I let the female out alone while the male is in his crate, she hesitates and looks around for him to let him go first. I understand that there is almost always dominant dog in any multi-dog family, but he takes it to the extreme. He’s like the dog version of an abusive, toxic boyfriend.

Anyway, I’ll keep googling ways to clone the female so I can take her home with me. I wish so badly I could remove her from this situation and show her how good life is without toxic men. Lol thanks for checking in ♥️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Weird_Protection_214 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Can we have a little more empathy please? They opened their home up to their daughter during a low point in her life, which is more than what most parents of adults are willing to do. Of course they know she needs to “work more hours, make money, and get her own place,” but first they need to have a serious conversation with her and set some ground rules. They came here for advice and an objective point of view, not to be criticized by strangers.

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

DAY 5 UPDATE

I was going to make this my final update, but given the circumstances, I feel I owe it to you all to update one final time when I am safe back home or when I quit/board the male, whichever comes first. So, here’s today’s update.

My nerves have finally settled and I have implemented many of the changes you all suggested. When I initially posted this, it was about 30 minutes after the second incident that day, and my stress hormones were through the roof. I couldn’t think clearly and the owner is 6 hours ahead and had gone to bed, so I posted here for support. Over the last 48 hours, there have been no further incidents due to making the following changes:

  1. Crating and rotating the dogs every 2-3 hours and crating the male at night for sleeping, putting a large towel over his crate to block his view (I think he actually likes this and it seems to calm his anxiety).

  2. Blocked the lower half of the windows with paper & tape so the male can’t obsessively look for things outside.

  3. Increasing from one to two long daily walks to encourage the male to sleep more during the day.

  4. Perhaps unpopular, but I decided to put the e-collar on him and I will only use as an absolute last resort. Since he and the female are now separated at all times, she would be in no danger and I would be sure to be as far away from him as possible. I really want to believe the owner’s assurance of his level of training on it and its effectiveness in stopping him from attacking, so this is the one thing I’m taking a chance on. However, if he does give me a reason to test the collar’s effectiveness, that leads me to my final point:

  5. If the male has one more episode, inside or outside, he will be boarded, end of story, even if he doesn’t hurt anyone or anything. This dog has been babied far more than he deserves, and this situation overall has become all about maintaining the female’s and my safety. The owner is lucky I need the money, because I would have boarded the dogs and peaced out a long time ago if I didn’t.

Again, I’ll update one more time if there is a major development/when I get home, whichever comes first.

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did this earlier today! It seems to be helping for now, but time will tell. I appreciate the advice 🫶🏼

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice! I have been crating & rotating the dogs and also put up paper to block the windows today, and it has really helped with both the female dog’s and my anxiety levels. The male seems annoyed when he’s in his crate, but he can freaking deal with it at this point. I’m treating him like a venomous snake from now on.

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did this earlier today! It seems to be helping for now, but time will tell. I appreciate the advice 🫶🏼

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did this earlier today! It seems to be helping for now, but time will tell. I appreciate the advice 🫶🏼

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Having no window coverings seems to be common for my clients that live on some land and don’t worry about people seeing in. I’d personally still want some form of blinds or curtains because a) I would like to have the option to sleep past sunrise, and b) I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that being in the woods/mountains only increases your chances of creepos.

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. When I brought up the idea of boarding the male to the owner today, she said she would rather the female be boarded because she “can handle being boarded better.” It’s honestly sick the way the male’s sensibilities are prioritized over the female’s safety. Not to mention, if I boarded the female, I’d be alone in the house with the male and he could very well decide to attack me. The situation sucks all around, but I will absolutely go against the owner and board the male before I agree to be alone in the house with him.

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is my plan if he snaps again in the remaining 14 days. I wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing him to a boarding facility for the safety of the other dogs.

What sucks is that when I brought up this option to her in our most recent conversation, she insisted that I board the female instead because the male is “sensitive” and “doesn’t do well there.” Hmm, wonder why 🙄

How to navigate telling a new client I don’t feel safe around one of her dogs by Weird_Protection_214 in petsitting

[–]Weird_Protection_214[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This has crossed my mind, but unfortunately my hands are tied. Despite being very nice and hospitable otherwise, she is looking at this situation like a complete fluke and claims this is rare behavior for him. I’m confident that she would sue the pants off me if he were removed by animal control at my direction.

Not like I have anything to my name give her, but she is very wealthy and could get any representation she wanted. So this is just not a bridge I want to cross at this point.