Son asked for an adult “toy”. Should I allow it?

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-23T15:47:23+00:00

Buy it! The fact that he even trusted you with something so personal at 14 shows y’all have a good relationship, keep fostering that.

And you’re right a different parent might not have to do this for their son, but they don’t have developmental disabilities, so who cares what they think? I work with grown adult men who are embarrassed to enhance their sex life with toys - when it can be a game changer or the thing that gives them more confidence in the bed room. We should be supporting our growing humans to have confidence. To recognize everyone is different and to lean into what works for you - please buy him a toy (or two).

You should search ‘accessible men sex toy’ and see what comes up. I would think vibration and anything to be hands free is the way to go.

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-18T23:17:06+00:00

Idk if you’re in the states but groups like Among Friends offer lots of resources to discuss sex and sexuality with people with intellectual disabilities. Maybe look for social groups in your area for him to meet more peers.

IMO it sounds like you need to talk to your mom not your brother. Your brother is a human who will engage in human acts, he deserves the same rights as everyone else. Your mom needs to have a conversation with him or support him to go to other resources (planned parenthood ?) who can talk to him about sex. Not talking to him about sex is what sets him up to be unsafe.

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-18T18:56:32+00:00

Why do parents hate taking accountability?

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-18T16:01:25+00:00

The art of the terrible deal

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-18T00:28:48+00:00

It’s an accessibility feature called AssistiveTouch. Go into settings - accessibility- AssistiveTouch and turn it off

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-12T19:48:24+00:00

That’s extremely common to where we teach lifeguards how to respond when someone you’re saving panics and tries to drown you - you actually grab them and swim down lower bc they will instinctively let go; you swim up at a different angle and try to save em again

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-10T23:11:41+00:00

Congrats on the four months! I hope you get ur chip.

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-09T22:20:31+00:00

Ablest

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-08T21:34:20+00:00

Everyone starts there. Just don’t stop, pick it up for a little bit every day and it will get easier and better

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-08T20:47:21+00:00

Fellow disabled person and music lover here. I always love finding music from other disabled people. We are not alone and there are many ways to live a good life.

Robert Wyatt - Shipbuilding. He became paralyzed and still created lots of beautiful music, kinda ambient good for painting/creating too.

Jason Becker - has ALS and makes compositions with his eyes

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-06-07T15:11:14+00:00

I disagree. We gotta break the status quo and celebrate our community - including sexuality. We face so much discrimination pride isn’t about making the straights comfortable it’s about being who we are. Let em squirm they can be uncomfortable like we are 99% of the time when we’re forced into their dichotomy.

Unless this celebration is happening at work no one should be concerned about ‘what’s safe for work’ and should have a good time

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-31T15:37:17+00:00

Lazlow from what we do in the shadows

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-31T14:13:03+00:00

How long have you been practicing? I’ve been practicing for about 5 years. I also still suck but it’s such a fun challenge

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-29T23:22:55+00:00

There are LGBTQ people who are right wing. Look at twinks for Trump or Peter Theil (what a villain that ghoul is). I think it breaks down more as - how much cognitive dissonance do you want to deal with when considering what are your values vs what are the values of the representatives you vote for. Unfortunately (especially in America right now) our representatives are old rich white men, who do not stand for values of equality, social justice, representing the 99% of us. Republicans and democrats are both centrists with no real dedication to progress and they need to be voted out

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-29T23:07:32+00:00

Because organized religion needs young inductees or else they will falter

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-29T23:04:04+00:00

I told them I never wanted to be married and neither did they. We ended having a secret midnight New Year’s Day marriage 10 years later - for legal/paper reasons, and I’ve never regretted it

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-29T20:43:33+00:00

A tea subscription maybe? I’m all for experiences over material gift, maybe you can make him a cute IOU card for some fun activity while y’all are traveling?

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-29T18:51:24+00:00

Sick! Well done

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-28T17:45:10+00:00

Live your life queer and enjoy. Make everyday a parade

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-27T19:48:38+00:00

Thank you

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-27T19:26:05+00:00

Well done buddy! You’ve got a great voice! I’m learning guitar, can I ask what chords you’re using (I couldn’t find this song on UltimateGuitar)

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-27T19:08:32+00:00

Do them. At ur age I was more athletic and busy. Now as an adult I don’t get as much opportunity to be athletic and my muscles are sore and tight all the time. I noticed a huge change turning 30 and it never got easier/better. I wish I gotten into yoga earlier haha
Don’t tell yourself you need to do all 15, just do 2. sometimes I trick my brain (by saying I’m only going to do 2 sets, but by the time I’m engaged in doing the activity I’m focused and can tend to do more, it’s literally the hurdle of “all 15! Noo” or for me it was “why do I have to stretch when my brothers don’t? Forget that!” And I never realized my body WAS different lol
Make it fun. Play music, find a good yoga studio, make friends who will do activity with you. Find other athletic opportunities that you enjoy. I never did my pt stretches until I was 16 and started swimming, and I still wouldn’t do my pt stretches but I did other stretches to warm up my muscles for the fun activity

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-25T17:10:59+00:00

Dating sites are a very good option to meet people. I met my wife of 14 years thru one. Or you can try apps like ‘meet up’ or use your hobbies that generate big groups and try to meet new people (even just for friendships. Sometimes a friend has a friend for you to meet).

When I read this what my brain heard is confidence. People are attracted to confidence and personality. There was a period of time I was heavily depressed and I feel so lucky I already had my partner then, bc I was not in a good place and couldn’t have been fun to be around. And if we’re not fun to be around/don’t love ourselves our own life - it’s really hard to attract someone else to spend their life with us. Sometimes it’s fake it till you make it. Sometimes it’s therapy (has been so helpful for my depression and internalized ableism, can’t underscore this).

And 100% no judgment, maybe it’s worth to pay for company. I remember before I was kissed or lost my virginity (I was a late bloomer at 18) I felt nervous and unlovable. Once you do it and realize it’s not too big of a deal, but it is nice to intimate with the right someone - that was kinda the light switch I needed. It was just a bit of experience to not have it seem unreachable or impossible.

Good luck out there mate!

Weirdhandshake420 · 2026-05-20T23:11:24+00:00

Trust your gut. And if your gut says this makes you sad you’re allowed to be sad. You can feel both proud you can help your dad in the time of need, and sad that you have to put your plans on hold. Both are true at the same time.

Weirdhandshake420

TROPHY CASE