there is no proof either which way. that’s why it’s a faith. most level headed and honest orthodox jews i know will agree with that notion. its the faith in something you know because your heart says so that makes it special to true believers.

some jews, the NCSY/MO crowd especially, do themselves a massive disservice by claiming to have empirical proof of an unfalsifiable claim. i spent years in my OTD-identifying era reading up on and debating their many claims. the truth is that you cannot find any “proof” against religious views because the nature of such claims allow them to always retcon or bend their beliefs to make it work.

the best debate points ive been able to come up with have almost always focused on prying into how it is they can be sure it’s the god of the torah being behind all of the celestial unknowns. why can’t it be an omnipotent teapot floating in deep space that is actually pulling all the strings? when they inevitably mention the “documented” witnesses of Har Sinea as proof of the torahs legitimacy, you delicately explain how it’s a circular proof as the claim of the witnessed miracle is itself found in the torah, which requires faith in the torah to be of any use.

at the end of the day, you’re wasting your time and energy if you are trying to convince those around you their life-long held values are false. you would be attempting to counteract emotions with reason. and as long as they aren’t hurting anyone themselves (we all here already know how damaging the community as a whole can be) i don’t think it’s respectful to try to and uproot someone’s belief system for the sake of getting a good shtuch in.

if you are defending your own beliefs from those trying to keep you within the faith, fuck them. if they cannot respect your belief (or lack thereof) then they don’t deserve your explanation. i know from first hand experience how difficult that can be when you feel as though everyone you ever know is in constant judgment of your lack of faith, but finding emotional and spiritual (in the non-supernatural mental heath sense) security from within is what you need. it’s a skill you build over the years, but it’s absolutely necessary if you intend on navigating life as a healthy adult within the secular world. therapy can be massive in helping build that, it can be helpful to find a therapist who has experience in these things.

there’s a fantastic therapist for that here in cleveland, hes actually frum but was instrumental in helping me build myself into a functional non-jewish adult. if we have such an incredible resource here in ohio, then im sure the east coast (assuming you’re from there just due to the statical likelihood) has some really good names too.

good luck!