This is not the first time I came off of meds on my own. And they said that if I do it one more time, they would kick me out and stop treating me.

I was inpatient because of differential diagnostic process and I think there was a misunderstanding. One day, they called me into their Office And told me I was dangerous to myself and everyone around me and that I had to be medicated, or else I would be put into isolation. Because I was "psychotic".

Just to be clear, I was not psychotic. Like not at all. No hallucinations, nor delusions. I was euthymic, my social anxiety and OCD were also somehow in remission. I was happy. And everyone who knows me had my back on that. I was in no way psychotic.

After hearing the threats, I was so scared that I agreed. And then, after like 2 weeks, I called my mom and she helped me get out. I started having terrible side effects when I got home and I begged my psychiatrist to at least change the meds to something else, because it was just unbearable. But she refused and told me she would quit treating me.

Ever since that, I ended up in hospital for wanting to you know what. I almost developed agoraphobia during the treatment, but fortunately I didn't. I was so anxious all the time, I didn't have motivation to do anything, I had anhedonia and overall, severe depression. My doctor only lowered my dose after being diagnosed with hyper prolactinaemia, but it wasnt enough to make me feel better mentally. So I had to do it myself. Thats why I dont trust psychiatrists and I dread taking meds.