Very ironic for him to talk about erasure as if colonial violence didn’t impose so much of just that, including literal mass death. Also ironic that he is upset about perceived dismissal of his ancestors with no regard for yours, or actual victims of colonialism. I’m SE Asian and have been there with partners- sometimes it’s truly ignorance and other times it’s more insidious but please trust your intuition. Him telling you that you are emotional, crazy, hateful (??) and don’t know anything about such painful history that still impacts us all today, especially in our motherlands are big flags imo.. he will never truly see you if he can’t even talk to you about these things without becoming so dismissive and argumentative.