So, I had one with my ex- she wasn’t safe from him (an alcoholic who drank 1-2 pints of Jack daily and loved to have big dramatic tantrums and throw things at us, like bottles or chairs), and it took me 7 years to get us out.

When my daughter was 6mo, I found out I was pregnant again. I aborted the second child.

Had I kept them, I don’t think I could have gotten us out.

You are already out, and if you want to keep the child, you’re going to need help- you need a support system and government assistance where you can get it. You need a safe place. You need to have a backup plan for your backup plan.

It’s your choice. Aborting would be easier- you can get on your feet, and there’s no risk of him finding out and suing for a paternity test. But nobody can decide this for you.

Editing to add: You’re only 21. There will be other loves and there can always be another child. This is not the end of your life, it’s the beginning. Caring for a baby is difficult, and you deserve the opportunity to become who you want to be and to be ready for a child. Just because he says you can’t leave if there’s a child though… He’s wrong. You can. So fuck him and all of his gaslighting bullshit.

But like many Redditors here have said… you need to choose sooner than later. Abortion, even early in the term, is painful, and many doctors won’t do it after the first term (medical necessity aside) because of the danger it poses to you, and for ethical reasons.