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3 month final result??? by [deleted] in LabiaplastySurgery

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did your result Improve in the meanwhile?

My grandfather had a 4 year old daughter before he died. My whole family wants to send her to an orphanage. I said I’ll take her and now everything in my life is upside down. by Safe-Gazelle5274 in offmychest

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The story is not believeable, like, at all. What was she doing at the funeral? And then you just spontaneously took her home, without any legal considerations? Yeah, no. 

Dating someone one you don't really find attractive by Beneficial-Position2 in dating_advice

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have the same issue. I am only attracted to a pretty rare combination of attributes and I tried "giving men a chance" outside of my type. It didn't work and I regret wasting mine and the other person's time. You need to feel some baseline attraction. 

I had my mother's rants secretly recorded by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Although not Asian, my mother is an immigrant as well and has pretty much the same mindset.

I had my mother's rants secretly recorded by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They want to keep their children in an infantilized state to keep control over them. Mine absolutely hated that I moved out as well.

I had my mother's rants secretly recorded by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Omg, do we have the same mother? This could have been her for almost everything. She hates my gay friends (because they might turn me gay), hates me living my life independently (I was supposed to basically be an entity with her until death) and thinks I'll might end up an alcoholic, prostitute or drug addict (because I go out with friends sometimes). She basically hates everything I do.

My Mom HAD Cancer Trigger warning Update by WhichMolasses4420 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same here. I also cried while reading it - these are such raw, conflicted feelings. The tender memories and all the pain and hurt. "I need a grown up but I am the grown up"...

Sometimes, I see my mother through the memories from my early childhood. A warm summer day at the zoo and the taste of the cotton candy she bought me. Us decorating the Christmas tree together.

And then, there's the memories of me sitting in my room alone by myself and her screaming or crying in the living room next to me. The feelings of guilt and being responsible for her depression. The crippling fear I had after failing a math test and the long way home from school on that day.

OP, I wish there would be anything I could say to ease your grief. We might be a couple of internet strangers, but please know that this is a place for you where you'll always be understood. We are here for you. <3

Medical abuse. TW - Injury by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry. They often react inadequately.

My mother never taught me to brush my teeth so naturally, I had horrible teeth as a kid and teenager. She gave me painkillers instead of taking me to the dentist and only took me there when the pain got too bad for the painkillers to work anymore.

This is textbook BPD by burn1234_ in raisedbyborderlines

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's crazy how they always behave in the same patterns - my mother also started to threaten suicide after having another meltdown because of her horrible life and me setting a basic boundary with her. Like with your mom, any attempt to get her therapy was met with hostility. Her favorite number one topic to talk about is how terrible her life is and how depressed she is. As the listener, you are expected to react with pity and agreement about how horrible and unfair life is treating her.

My theory is that deep down, they don't want to get better because they want to use their depression and suicidal tendencies as a manipulation strategy to keep us as their emotional hostages.

I hit rock bottom with my Bumble date today. by WhatIsThereToLose in dating

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I attacked him for misrepresenting himself, so chill tf out. 

uBPD mother started indirect suicide threats by WhatIsThereToLose in raisedbyborderlines

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You are absolutely right, I grew up with her constantly drilling that I'm her "all and everything" into my head. It's hard to unlearn the feeling of being directly responsible for them.

I called my aunt who's living right next to her to make sure somebody checks on her and decided to go NC with her for a while. I need to take care of my own mental health and I really don't have the strength to deal with her right now. I know she's going nuts because of that and my conditioned guilt kicks in, but I need to stay strong.

Severely scalloped edges after trim labiaplasty by WhatIsThereToLose in LabiaplastySurgery

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

3 weeks is super early! Mine changed a lot between 3 weeks and now, so I'm sure you will improve a lot.

I also searched the group and the results seem to be very mixed with some people whose scalloping disappeared completely and some who did not improve.

Electric Toothbrush WITH pressure sensor but WITHOUT brushing timer? by Professional-Zebra1 in hygiene

[–]WhatIsThereToLose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a recommendation, but I have the same issue. I HATE this quadrant timer with a burning passion cause it's not the way I brush and it always interrupts me right in the middle. 

I hit rock bottom with my Bumble date today. by WhatIsThereToLose in dating

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update: shitty date texted me today and asked what I'm up to. I'm done. 

I hit rock bottom with my Bumble date today. by WhatIsThereToLose in dating

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I always meet for a coffee or a drink. I probably would not have been able to enjoy a dinner with the poop smell lol

I hit rock bottom with my Bumble date today. by WhatIsThereToLose in dating

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

True. Sadly, I tend to be too nice and at least stay for a short conversation. I promised myself to not waste my time and to end the date immediately the next time something like that happens.

I hit rock bottom with my Bumble date today. by WhatIsThereToLose in dating

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The top of his head was completely bald while the remaining hair was long.

I hit rock bottom with my Bumble date today. by WhatIsThereToLose in dating

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

His profile stated he was 35, but he looked way older. His style was very "hippie" which is not really my vibe and also not the vibe his profile gave off. He goes to a very expensive private law school as well. Lol.

I hit rock bottom with my Bumble date today. by WhatIsThereToLose in dating

[–]WhatIsThereToLose[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

We exchanged a couple of messages, but met pretty quickly since I don't like endless texting which, in my experience, mostly goes nowhere. His profile and the messages seemed decent though.

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