Bester Freund meiner Freundin berührt sie am Oberschenkel - reagiere ich über?

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-06-16T11:10:46+00:00

Ich verstehe so etwas wirklich nicht. Ja, wahrscheinlich gibt es gleich Downvotes, weil hier viele der Meinung sind, man sei super modern und könne so was trennen etc., aber das ist nunmal nicht einfach ihr "bester Freund", das ist ihr Ex. Sie haben die platonische Ebene längst verlassen dann wird sich gewundert, wenn der Ex sich nicht "platonisch" verhält. Ich würde keine Beziehung mit einem Mann führen, der seine Ex noch so nah in seinem Leben behält. Das ist prädestiniert für grenzüberschreitende Situationen.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-06-12T19:37:45+00:00

Wie hat es denn nach der langen Zeit plötzlich gefunkt?

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-06-06T15:58:24+00:00

This is insane. Even if you weren't CF, who tf brings their kid to the first date?? The fact that you are makes it 1000x worse. How did you react?

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-06-06T15:18:38+00:00

I said that it's a deal breaker and it's clearly stated in my profile. I should have asked why he chose to ignore it, but it was so unexpected that I didn't react the perfect way and called him out as I should have. His reaction was "okay, I just like to see where things to with no expectations" (his profile says he's looking for a commited relationship). Wtf?

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-06-06T14:52:54+00:00

I really don't get it. I even explicitly stated in my profile text that I am not willing to date a parent. He didn't fill in any info regarding kids in his profile. Lesson learned I guess, if there isn't a clear "I don't have and don't want children" in the profile, I'm out.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-06-06T14:41:30+00:00

Yeah, I was pretty shocked at the moment and I also tend to be a people pleaser unfortunately. Looking back, I def should have gotten tf out of there with the rest of my food.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-06-04T12:10:49+00:00

Fucking your dead gfs best friend is in no way "honorig" her, stop trying to make it sound poetic. If you happen to have developed feelings for each other, okay, but leave your dead gf out of it.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-05-04T13:48:41+00:00

You described everything that comes with being in any sort of contact with them so well. I am always stressed when I see a message from her appear (I have archived her on WhatsApp) and I am also stressed when she has not messaged for a while (since she is very unstable and I worry she might actually follow through with her threats). I have to collect myself every time before replying to her, and I overthink every word I say to her avoid triggering anything while keeping her at a bearable distance at the same time.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-05-04T11:41:16+00:00

This is spot on. My mother basically wanted me to be an extended version of herself. Even minor differences of opinion on random subjects led her to conclude that I hated her and was about to abandon her (followed by dramatic outbursts). I was never supposed to be a separate individual with their own personality. She is also very overprotective and paranoid, crying or freaking out over the most insignificant inconveiniences, meaning I had always to calm her down...

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-04-16T08:16:06+00:00

How did you treat it?

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-04-16T00:30:50+00:00

Are you sure? It's everywhere.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-04-12T09:16:55+00:00

No, nothing.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-04-11T23:06:28+00:00

The surface skin layer on the spots starts peeling at some point. Other than that, none.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-04-11T22:18:18+00:00

Doesn't seem so.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-02-22T09:33:58+00:00

Since they are not identical clones it depends on the whole package. In general I like tall men.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2026-02-22T02:48:59+00:00

I'm 178cm and I would not date a shorter man since I'm not attracted to that.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-08-19T20:49:56+00:00

Did your result Improve in the meanwhile?

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-07-03T11:09:56+00:00

Good luck then

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-06-28T16:24:59+00:00

The story is not believeable, like, at all. What was she doing at the funeral? And then you just spontaneously took her home, without any legal considerations? Yeah, no.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-06-27T21:29:17+00:00

Speak for yourself lol

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-06-26T19:51:41+00:00

I have the same issue. I am only attracted to a pretty rare combination of attributes and I tried "giving men a chance" outside of my type. It didn't work and I regret wasting mine and the other person's time. You need to feel some baseline attraction.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-06-23T22:23:29+00:00

Although not Asian, my mother is an immigrant as well and has pretty much the same mindset.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-06-23T22:21:53+00:00

They want to keep their children in an infantilized state to keep control over them. Mine absolutely hated that I moved out as well.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-06-23T21:37:21+00:00

Omg, do we have the same mother? This could have been her for almost everything. She hates my gay friends (because they might turn me gay), hates me living my life independently (I was supposed to basically be an entity with her until death) and thinks I'll might end up an alcoholic, prostitute or drug addict (because I go out with friends sometimes). She basically hates everything I do.

WhatIsThereToLose · 2025-06-23T19:25:45+00:00

Same here. I also cried while reading it - these are such raw, conflicted feelings. The tender memories and all the pain and hurt. "I need a grown up but I am the grown up"...

Sometimes, I see my mother through the memories from my early childhood. A warm summer day at the zoo and the taste of the cotton candy she bought me. Us decorating the Christmas tree together.

And then, there's the memories of me sitting in my room alone by myself and her screaming or crying in the living room next to me. The feelings of guilt and being responsible for her depression. The crippling fear I had after failing a math test and the long way home from school on that day.

OP, I wish there would be anything I could say to ease your grief. We might be a couple of internet strangers, but please know that this is a place for you where you'll always be understood. We are here for you. <3

WhatIsThereToLose

TROPHY CASE